1. Birth in an article
While some buzzwords grow in the wild, and some are introduced in books, most start in an ephemeral text medium like a magazine or blog: two media with a big news hole to fill and a tendency to fill it with bullshit. Among other gimmicks like numbered lists and quizzes, blogs and magazines attract readers with pop theories. The pop theory needs a buzzword.
Upon publication, the theory is actually being debated and honed. After writing up his "long tail" theory in Wired, magazine editor Chris Anderson hashed it out with bloggers in preparation for the next stage.

2. Book deal
A pop theory may be solid enough for an article, but once it's stretched to book length, the author is forced to invent supporting terms so the theory can "change the way you think about the world." In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell names "Salesmen," "mavens," and "connectors;" in The Long Tail Chris Anderson discusses "The New Producers," "New Markets," and "New Tastemakers." The theory takes on a pseudoscientific structure; Anderson invents "the three forces of the Long Tail" and prematurely declares death to "the hit." This is because people who read pop-theory books are even more gullible than people who read magazines.

The book's cover is white, with the title in big letters and one simple, metaphorical image.

3. Co-optetition
By this point every other magazine has published a me-too theory, and Amazon has three other books to recommend along with the one the gullible reader purchases. If you think the world is flat, you may also want to "think without thinking" and tap into "freakonomics."

4. Widespread misuse
The buzzword has reached the gullible, those who need to impress the gullible, and people who read BusinessWeek. It now loses all real meaning. I recently heard a Facebook app maker say, "Monetizing our apps is all about the long tail — transitioning from viewers to users." He may as well have stuttered about "South Korea and the Iraq," because the "long tail" has nothing to do with turning viewers into users. I like to call this "alchemical thinking."

5. Backlash
This phase actually began shortly after stage 1, with a new wave of backlash for every stage after. Now the backlash has finally saturated among everyone who ever heard the buzzword. Blogs have satirized it, Fake Steve Jobs has ironically name-dropped it, and it's a category on Valleywag. The opposite of the buzzword has earned its own buzz, meaning that even a "short head" business can co-opt the buzz of the "long tail."

6. Hallmark of cluelessness
The real use of the buzzword has long since fallen out of use as people rediscovered the other, older words that meant the same thing: "tipping point" has become "breakout moment" and "black swan" has become "surprise." Anyone who still uses the buzzword is clearly an ass.

Nick Douglas writes at Valleywag and Too Much Nick. In two years he'll have a book called "Alchemical Thinking." Dude, it'll change your life.

To be fair, Anderson has reason to worry about perceptions of his hobby. On the one hand, hobbyists' UAVs are slightly more sophisticated versions of radio-controlled airplanes. On the other hand, spy agencies and the military use even more sophisticated versions as surveillance and weapon-delivery systems. While there are perfectly legitimate hobbyist and commercial uses (GPS mapping, aerial photography, etc.), when you see a "drone," instinctively, the average American thinks of a weapon.

Anderson has largely acted appropriately: reserving judgment, asking difficult questions, and allowing debate to ensue on his blog. The majority of commenters, and Anderson himself, initially, voiced support of open-source principles and argued that the information is already available and should remain open to anyone despite Anderson's fears of xenophobic doubt. Others agree but still worry that the U.S. government may take a homeland-security interest in DIYDrones.com's uses, and its users. Few are concerned about aiding the enemy, but realize the public at large could respond histrionically.

And it turns out that the fuss is about a 17-year-old enthusiast. Aalipour, like many Iranians, is strongly nationalistic but, in a comment left on Anderson's blog, claims progressive political views with no anti-American sentiments. "I love friendly," he writes. Well, who doesn't? Can't we all get along — unmanned drone-lovers included?

• Professional troll (and a damn good one) Nick Carr invites the recently critical Journal writer to continue badgering Anderson about his book. The writer badgers on command. [Rough Type]
• VC blogger Fred Wilson, tired of reading about math, instead wants to talk about the virtual world, and how he's happier there than in the real world, and how all his friends in his Second Life book club are so supportive of his lifestyle choice. [A VC]
• Newsome.org takes the right tack and calls this debate like a by-the-rules boxing match. [Newsome.org]
• ZOMBIES! [Mickeleh's Take]

May I suggest this soundtrack? Maybe you've heard the song before? I'm told it was a hit.

The Rise and Fall of the Hit [Wired Magazine]
Gnarls Barkley's Crazy [autoplay, Myspace]

"Looks great, doesn't he?" says Melinda Gates. "I left him alone at Bath and Body Works, and he picked himself a moisturizer."

Damn it, if Walt Mossberg hears one more story about that stinking John Markoff, he's switching to hard liquor.

Jean Louis Gassee: "I worked at Apple for nine years, and honestly, Steve's feet are this huge."

Martha's only smiling because she thinks that's Daler Mehndi.

After the jump, Mr. High Fidelity looks for a cooler conversationalist.

ZDNet king Eric Hippeau to serial entrepreneur Josh Felser: "Oh, my unbuttoned shirt is no accident, Josh. Let's dump this dump and go...share some war stories."

Lotus founder Mitch Kapor tells Answers.com founder Bob Rosenschein: "There's the 98-pound Dictionary.com guy. Let's go throw wine in his face."

Martha Stewart and her boyfriend, the man who built Word and Excel, Charles Simonyi. (They really are dating.)

The crowd was delighted as Walt and Kara performed a scene from A Streetcar Named Desire. "Listen, baby, when we first met - you and me - you thought I was common. Well, how right you was. I was common as dirt."

"Walt. WALT. Put down the Jack Daniel's and let's stop the 'I'll kill that ass Markoff' talk."

AOL exec Jason Calacanis pulls the Kawaii Anime Girl sign we all know and love. Meanwhile, the extinguished body of VC Yossi Vardi slumps in its chair.

"And we'll have a farm...with ethanol-fueled vehicles...and I can pet the rabbits! Tell me about the rabbits, Vinod!"

Dan's schwag. That damn Long Tail gets EVERYWHERE.

John Cusak pulls the over-the-shoulder glance, made easier because Kara Swisher is half his height.

Photos: D Conference [Dan Farber on Flickr]