The incident on Silicon Valley's 910 AM neatly encapsulated the computer scientist-music industry culture clash Google Music will have to overcome. Mayer went on the show to tout Google's ability to find songs and lyrics — it reportedly plans to sell MP3s against those searches — but ended up hearing about how one of the hosts was Googling for nude pictures of her. After the segment wrapped, a spy tells us, Mayer "got pissy" with the station over how she'd been treated on air. The hosts later discussed on-air some complaints they'd received from unidentified parties at Google. (See clip above; the full show can be found here at episode 110409 H1.)

It's easy to understand how Mayer became offended. She's got a master's degree in computer science from Stanford, oversees hundreds of managers and thousands of engineers at the world's most powerful internet company — and she was subjected to repeated discussions about whether there are naked pictures of her online. Also easy to understand is how this happened: It's radio. Morning drivetime radio, at that. Crude talk is par for the course. The likes of Howard Stern would consider this segment a giant softball, even if it was followed by a rant about how free school lunches might turn children into lifetime welfare cases (lovely).

In short, welcome to the radio/music business. Get used to the sleaze!

Microblogging might seem straightforward enough to your typical Silicon Valley office drone. But Hollywood superstars are used to things coming a bit easier in life. And PR firms like Santa Monica-based Id are ready to hold their hands on Twitter, Nicole LaPorte (disclaimer: the long-suffering wife of Gawker's Richard Rushfield) writes at the Daily Beast, and help bolster their image, or at least not wreck it.

What does Id teach? Well, only clients like Herman, Ben Stiller, and Natalie Portman know for sure, but it's possible to distill a few likely lessons from LaPorte's story:

• Make a friend at Twitter Inc. Everyone who's anyone has one. They're great for when hackers and impostors come around — or for when your problem is more old school. LaPorte: "Virtually every publicist in Hollywood has a go-to person at Twitter-the equivalent these days of having an "in" with famed MGM publicity chiefs-cum-fixers... during Hollywood's Golden Age."
  
• Latch on to current events. Just because you're a celebrity and no one really cares what you think about important issues doesn't mean you can't offer commentary. Everyone loves a clown: "The day that President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, Ben Stiller tweeted: 'Was awoken this morning to my daughter telling me that I had no shot at ever winning the Nobel Peace Prize.'"
  
• Launch with a crowd. A real one. Herman issued his first tweet at the 140tc Twitter Conference (see video above), thus helping ensure a bunch of re-tweets from the Twitter junkies and bigwigs in the audience and thus accelerating his microblogging popularity.

Thank goodness for flacks. Without them, celebrities would have to earn Twitter attention all on their own, with only their wildly inflated global popularity to hep them.

Gadget play is, after all, fun to engage in but excruciating to watch; we can't imagine Stewart's thousands of home viewers will enjoy watching a distracted crowd frantically fingering their BlackBerrys. Which means the flood of retweets and Tumblr postings Rachel Sklar predicts over at Mediaite might not do much for Stewart, since they'll be showcasing a below-par episode of her show.

Still, the exercise should be worthwhile, if only because the geek crowd can help the domestic media overlord increase the destructive powers of her Twitter feed, a dark vortex of explosions, fire and animal death.

Contributors to the book, edited by the former Valleywag editor and Gawker blogger (pictured), received a "congratulations" email today (below) from a HarperCollins marketer, which suggested they "flood Twitter with so many tweets about the book that no self-respecting Twitter addict will be able to resist buying a copy." Attached was a link to an "online buzz kit" consisting of various graphical badges (see image at left).

Bizarrely, this seems to be working (see image below), even though contributors get no royalties from the book, just a free copy. Flattery might have something to do with, as might ambition: Remember that Facebook status update that might turn into a movie? Surely the Twitter crowd is smart enough to draw some deals like that. Writes Douglas,

If even one [contributor] gets noticed enough to get their own book deal, I'll feel supremely lucky... Some of the people in the book are working on TV pilots, movies, books... mostly independently of their tweets. But the user @arjunbasu, who writes all these self-contained stories on Twitter, is looking to do that in particular in a book.

There you go: HarperCollins' campaign is about empowerment, not exploitation. Remember that as you gratefully flood Twitter with promotional messages. Also: It's always been this way.

(Top pic: Douglas, by Cameron Walters)

Sure, Twitter will end the year with around 12 million users, or roughly 7 percent of total people on the internet, many of them barely touching the service, according to an analysis by eMarketer. But Twitter is buzzy and trendy, lending it a certain authority when placed at the focal point of a spin campaign. "Twitter can't be stopped," a Weinstein marketer tells the Washington Post. "People will be Twittering during the opening credits," adds the president of Magnolia Pictures. "It's never been this easy to be this influential," says a guy who helped promote a Disney movie.

OK; how has Twitter-crit transformed the movie business in this, the online service's big year? Let's ask IMDB:

Clearly, crap movies don't stand a chance any more. Thank you, Twitter.

(Top pic: Meta.Live.Nu)

Stone told Tavis Smiley last night about an early trial of his microblogging service. It made him laugh: While co-founder Evan Williams was sipping Pinot Noir and getting a massage in wine country, Stone and his wife were finding awful things under the carpet and cursing their purchase of the William Wurster-designed two bedroom — the same two bedroom they're now trying to sell. It's a funny story, but perhaps not the best way to move property in a down market.

Hopefully for Twitter's investors, Stone will take a more straightforward approach to marketing his unprofitable website; below, he confirms to Smiley that Twitter wants to accelerate revenue growth by the end of this year, as indicated in the February business plan leaked to TechCrunch by a hacker, and describes some ways that might happen, including analytics for small businesses and verified Twitter accounts.

We're just out here promoting Radio Shack, or uh, The Shack, whatever you want to call it, you know. Anyhow we have to sit out in public talking to webcams all day, give us a fucking break.

Izea, you'll recall, is the company that paid llifecaster Julia Allison, with real actual money, to blog about a free trip to Sea World. Not satisfied merely to pimp out bloggers, the firm has set its sights on the burgeoning field of tweeting. The company's announcement, passed along by Mashable, leads one to believe there's a big payoff for promoting Izea's clients; here is the screen Izea shows prospective Tweeters, set at $100 per 140-character tweet:

Mashable had its screen configured for $150 per tweet. We took the bait and clicked through to the signup screen for our personal Twitter account. Reality was bleak, with Izea suggesting an asking price of $1.50 per tweet, based on our usage stats.

For what it's worth, taking part in this sort of shilling doesn't seem to be a barrier to working with national news networks. Allison wrote paid blog posts for Armani Exchange July 17 but went on MSNBC as a pundit at least twice within the following week. Tech blogger Chris Pirillo is listed prominently as an Izea client and has his own show on CNN.com.

Of course, you're supposed to disclose your ties to Izea, which means you'll probably lose a lot of followers. Plus it will get progressively harder to look at yourself in the mirror each morning. But at, like, $4 per word, you can at least pretend you're a real writer.

(Pic: Allison, from her sponsored Armani post. As far as we know, she has yet to rent out access to her Twitter.)

George Smith, who does online marketing for Crocs, wrote about a blogger at the conference who was upset the company ran out of free pairs of its inexplicably popular plastic shoes. The blogger started out timid, but grew brazen:

"Ya know, if you don't give me shoes – I could totally write something bad about you on my blog."

"Excuse me?" I asked – hoping she would laugh or give me some indication that she was just joking around. Nope…

"It's just a pair of shoes. It's a lot easier to give them to me than deal with the negative press I could make."

Smith hadn't heard of this "nobody" and dispensed with her quickly:

She looked shocked – like she really thought her sad attempt to blackmail me would work. In a second, she walked away and, before I could really gather myself, disappeared into a sea of bloggers. I never saw her again.

Blackmail over a $30 pair of Crocs? Really? Talk about small time. If bloggers can be bought so cheaply, it's sad to think how many glowing posts the free schwag at BlogHer is generating. The conference featured giveaways in the SocialLuxe "pampering" lounge, including makeovers and Smith's Crocs, as well as gift cards and laptops on offer at the conference website.

Bloggers insist ample freebies don't influence what they write. But those at the feeding trough are bound to get their egos bruised sooner or later; how many will be able to avoid a pathetic, prideful outburst of "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??" schwag extortion?

(Pic: Smith by @greeblemonkey, via)

Although Brennan seems qualified to talk about "feminine brands"—she is CEO of consulting firm Female Factor and has recently seen the publication of her new book Why She Buys: The New Strategy for Reaching the World's Most Powerful Consumers—her definition of what qualifies as female friendly is somewhat confusing. She recalls a recent visit to her mother's house, during which the two women struggle to work the remote controls on her new flat-screen television. After several minutes of pressing random buttons on the remotes, she wonders:

My mother is a smart woman who runs her own business. She values her time and has no desire to spend it configuring devices that should be elegant and easy to use, given their high cost. I couldn't help but think: Why does the consumer electronics industry make things harder the more advanced technology gets? And then my thoughts turned to fantasy: Why doesn't Apple make remote controls?

Why Apple? Apple makes electronics that are easy to use, simple, and sleek. And apparently, only women value these important traits. She breaks down Apple's lady-killing formula into a few simple steps: Apple products are elegant and small, Apple stores are light, bright, and full of helpful employees, and Apple products are incredibly simple to use, even without manuals.

As Brennan notes, women are responsible for nearly 80% of all consumer purchases, and in the "male" industry of electronics, women buy almost half of all consumer products. Somehow, even though women are buying their fair share of electronics, these simple items have remained part of a "masculine" field. While so much of what Brennan says about the Apple appeal is true, the fact that "female friendly" somehow means "made so everyone, even a woman, can operate it" is incredibly frustrating. No one likes products that are difficult to use, and by casting Apple as "feminine," Brennan unintentionally insults the intelligence of women everywhere. I'll concede that this is slightly better than the "pink is for ladies!" trend that painted everything, including power tools, a garish Barbie hue, but I'm not sold on the argument that Apple, with it's something-for-everyone vibe, is really just "discreetly feminine."

Apple: The World's Most Discreetly Feminine Brand? [Forbes]

MARKETING STRATEGY 1: Blackmail you into viewing its hour-long adver-show on Hulu:

Those Hulu users who watch the "Bing-a-thon" will receive a reward: the ability to watch TV shows or movies on hulu.com without commercial interruptions. (Yes, you have to watch a commercial to avoid watching other commercials.)

MARKETING STRATEGY 2: Have product snickered at by television's least funny late night host:

For instance, the segments on "Late Show" will present Mr. Fallon as a quiz master, asking contestants to use bing.com to search for answers to questions in categories like travel, health and shopping.
" ‘Bing' sounds like a Jimmy Fallon word," Mr. Silverman said, laughing.

Here's another Jimmy Fallon word: Shut Up. Google it.
[NYT]

Harvard Business Review has found, "The top 10% of prolific Twitter users accounted for over 90% of tweets. On a typical online social network, the top 10% of users account for 30% of all production." And a separate study shows that Twitter's about the only social network where men are more likely to be "followed" by both other men and by women. That's in contrast to other social networks, where "most of the activity is focused around women."

Even Wikipedia, notorious for being run by a tiny, self-obsessed cabal, is not so bad: There, 90 percent of the content comes from the most active 15 percent of users.

Such asymmetry, of course, is baked right into Twitter's architecture. The microblogging service grew quickly because it allows one-way "follows." On Facebook, in contrast, accounts can only be linked with the permission of both parties.

If it's any consolation, relentless self-promotion is a necessary but not sufficient condition of popularity on Twitter. Have a look at Twitter's most prolific authors — have you heard of a single one? But good luck becoming one of the most influential tweeters if you don't constantly churn out copy.

[via Business Insider]

After nearly missing her flight, the internet fameball didn't hesitate to violate federal aviation rules.

And then she dove right in to the wining and dining with her hosts.

But after a few drinks or bites of dead sea creature of whatever, Allison suddenly heard an odd voice in her head. Is that her conscience?? Time to lob some softballs at the flack have a "forthright discussion."

Whale kiss + dating joke, bwahahaha. Forget about the specifics of that "forthright discussion" on animal rights, those can wait another day (or forever).

With fellow "sponsored" bloggers. Not her usual crowd.

Sea World rescued 17,000 animals! They rule!

Except when they confine polar bears to "tiny rooms" and make them look morbidly depressed!

This man invited Allison to touch the fat little upright creature on his lap. She was scared at first, but came around.

She ended up wanting to puke.

After 22 tweets and 28 blog posts, Sea World seems to have gotten it's money's worth. And Allison's still going! It turns out her benefactor's creepy/hilarious YouTube video was right, after all:

When Della launched earlier this week to promote the computer manufacturer's line of Inspirion Mini 10 netbooks, the site included a video on shopping for vintage clothing and "Tech Tips" explaining how ladies could use this strange device, as of course, we don't know how to use real laptops.

Joanna Stern summarized on LAPTOP magazine's website:

The Tech Tips page, with its patronizing "Seven Unexpected Ways a Netbook Can Change Your Life," is full of stereotypes of how women's lives can be changed with a mini-notebook... "Track your exercise and food intake at free online sites like Fitday," is Tip Number One, like any self-respecting women's magazine would recommend. Number two: Find recipes online (just because we have laptops doesn't mean we don't still belong in the kitchen). Dell, is this all you think us women do with our laptops? Or do you think women are that slow at the technology uptake that we don't know that a netbook is capable of these activities?

In response to the huge amount of criticism the site received online, yesterday, Dell revised the site, adding the message, "Some of you have read this article over the last several days & will notice a few modifications. You spoke, we listened. Thank you for your ongoing feedback." The "5 Ways to Use a Netbook" section now boasts that the product can help women get organized, read eBooks, track workouts, and is easy to take along when traveling. The page on "featured artist" Robyn Moreno and her video on vintage shopping are still up.

"Some brands go too far with the girlie stuff, and that's when they start getting into trouble," said Andrea Learned, author of Don't Think Pink - What Really Makes Women Buy in the New York Times. Learned said Della emphasizing netbook colors and computer accessories, but burying price information and specifications, seemed condescending to women. "Della's marketing strategy sounds like it's advertising a purse," Ms. Learned said. "There's a level of consumer sophistication they're missing."

"There was certainly no intent to offend anyone and if we did, we apologize," said Dell spokesman Bob Kaufman, according to MSNBC, adding, "Many people do see their laptops and netbooks as a style statement, and we want to be part of those conversations." Style is an important consideration, especially since you'll hopefully be staring at the computer for several years, but it isn't the most important factor in purchasing a computer, nor is it something only women care about. As several of our commenters pointed out earlier, Apple and many PC manufacturers have used style as a selling point to both male and female consumers, but don't assume in their commercials that people don't care about the product's performance as well.

Though Dell revising the more egregiously annoying aspects of the site is a step in the right direction, it still takes a few clicks to find any specifications on Della. The section about Mini 10 Netbooks on Dell's main page seems to include a comparison of the three netbooks' prices, processor speeds, and display sizes. We're not sure what all those crazy numbers mean, but we still don't want a Dell netbook, even if it does come in pink.

Dear Della, Sexism Doesn't Sell Laptops [LAPTOP]
5 Ways To Use A Netbook [Della]
What Do Women Want In A Laptop? [The New York TImes]
Let's Market PCs Like It's 1959 [MSNBC]
Mini Notebooks - Products [Della]

Earlier: Marketing Madness

It's the human impulse to try and find one's brand, or one's employer's, among the "most influential" that turns the bastardized Tokyo subway map into self-promulgating piece of marketing.

The map is a reminder — as if we needed one — that, these days, you don't need to be a print magazine publisher to use an arbitrary ranking system to get people to look at your content.

Speaking of which: You can find the full-sized map here.

[via Daring Fireball]

Numa Numa: 27.28 million hits now. Wowzers. If you are Gary Brolsma, the Numa Numa guy, you can only go two ways: fight your destiny and retreat into yourself—which would exact a high social cost, but let you retain your fundamental humanity—or embrace it and pimp it as much as possible. Gary's chosen option #2, as you can see, because here he is with that Geico gecko, going 'viral' and generally being a one-trick pony like some Harlem Globetrotter who would really love to tell the kids about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, but all they want to see is that half-court trick shot. The point is, never ever do anything popular on the internet, or you can kiss your ass goodbye.

Marcelo is pioneering the world of paid endorsements—on Twitter! Everything is different now. Here's how it works: people watch Marcelo on TV; they think he's funny and interesting; they follow him on Twitter; then, when he bizarrely busts out and recommends a specific new fiber optic internet service there, in Brazil, they'll all buy it, because hey, it's Marcelo!

In his first tweet mentioning Telefónica's service, Mr. Tas told his followers about a recent promotional event he hosted in São Paulo. "Xtreme event was fun, informative and full of insights," he wrote. "I loved it!"

We congratulate Mr. Tas on his new, creative way of soaking a corporation for its marketing budget. He should have gone into branding. [WSJ]

As far as she's concerned, Lacy had it all, 'round about May: A book (about Web 2.0 companies like Facebook), a Web video show, a BusinessWeek column (and gestalt-changing cover story), a blog and of course a Twitter stream. Then she realized no medium was helping another much.

After about 10 years of "worked evenings, sleepless nights, sacrificed relationships and any kind of work/life balance," the tech pundit just wrote a long essay concluding that becoming a brand is overrated because "I can't pull fans and readers across platforms." Also: "brand that hits people fast usually doesn't last."

Oh, sure, Lacy admits, she's making more money, is better prepared for the downturn, has greater name recognition, experiences "amazing once-in-a-lifetime experiences," and, hell, people even stop her in the street to tell her she's awesome, but not in the right way, you see:

I'm stunned by how many people read this blog, but never go to TechTicker. Or how many people watch TechTicker, but have no idea I write a BusinessWeek column. Or how many people follow me on Twitter, but still think I'm on staff for BusinessWeek full-time. Or— I swear to God— the number of people who know me from any of those platforms and say, "You wrote a book?" ...Whenever I get recognized and someone asks if I'm Sarah Lacy, I smile and say yes, but then coyly ask how they know me. Because I've learned it's different every time, and it's never all-of-the-above.

What is wrong with you internet people? Sarah Lacy is working hard so you can fully appreciate her and you're not FULLY APPRECIATING HER IN ALL MEDIA CONSTANTLY.

At this rate she'll never be culturally immortal!

That's the thing about branding yourself: It gets easier to do all the time, and the potential audience is constantly growing. But you're still on the hedonic treadmill, racing to surpass — or even keep up with — all the competition.

"In the latest issue of the legendary magazine, readers are invited to take a phone cam image of a logo for the new made-for-mobile video series Interns and send it to Playboy to receive a link to the weekly show. Interns tracks the learning curve of three young minimum wage earners in the Playboy New York marketing office, overseen by a dashing boss. The 4-minute episodes encapsulate the typical reality TV challenges, such as soliciting Cyber Babes."

I don't even understand what this is about, except that Playboy is still smart enough to only give away fully clothed intern photos for free. [MinOnline; pic via]

Advertisers will pay $1.2 billion to place ads on sites such as Facebook and MySpace, compared with a previous forecast of $1.4 billion in May and $1.6 billion at the start of the year.

This is due to the decline in bullshit advertising tactics that are not proven to work (a category that includes advertising on Facebook and Myspace). But hey,Tumblr is only worth $15 million and it's at least as annoying as Myspace. So there's always hope. [NYP]