Gawker: valleywag, matt cutts

Bribes, Tell Offs and Bragging Bless Twitterati Holidays

Ryan Tate — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 22:49:43 EST

Ben Parr was offered payola; Rebecca Dana let loose on the Wall Streeet Journal; and Paris Hilton had an unlikely encounter with Dr. Dre. The Twitterati didn't need to drink to let loose.

Christmas almost came early this year for Mashable's Ben Parr. Ben, you've got to tell us who this was. Pay the gift forward.

And dysfunctional family recriminations came early this holiday season for recently departed Wall Street Journal reporter Rebecca Dana.

Listen people, when you see Matt Cutts of Google — yes, that Matt Cuts — in the supermarket, or maybe at Cannes, or just straight bathing in groupie adulation by the pool, remember to just be cool, like it's not a huge emotional deal for you. Resist the urge to take his picture and sell it for six figures to OK!.

Somewhere in this tweet, about a no-doubt fascinating conversation between a woman blessed by genetics and familial luck into a lifetime of opulent wealth, and a rapper who overcame a childhood in the ghetto and repeated music industry swindles by dint of sheer hard work, determination and musical aptitude — somewhere in that exchange at a record executive's holiday party is a full book, if not a movie. Just try and imagine how this might have gone, dialog wise.

It takes literally decades to work up to a passively braggy tweet of this caliber. Watch Arianna and learn.

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

Why Google's getting bashed over privacy

wagger1 — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 11:30:19 EDT

In every insult, there's a backhanded compliment. Privacy International has named and shamed Google, ranking it as the single worst privacy offender it surveyed in a new report (PDF), dinging it for a range of what it claims are objectionable practices and attitudes toward privacy. It's a charge that Googler Matt Cutts finds highly offensive. But Cutts misses the real reason why the nonprofit has targeted Google.PI's privacy booby prize is ultimately nothing but a nod to Google's power. It's not just the data Google controls. The things thought private that Google's robots uncover as they crawl the Web are equally unnerving. AOL might be dodderingly clueless in releasing users' Web searches; Microsoft may come off as phony in its efforts at transparency. But only Google has the power to violate our privacy in a way that matters.

Blogger breakdown: Spot Scoble at Google

Nick Douglas — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 14:18:04 EDT

Ex-Microsoft blogger Robert Scoble may miss out on Burning Man, but he'll have fun visiting the Googleplex today with Googler Matt Cutts. Insert cruel "don't empty the snack room" line here, and send phonecam pics of Scoble to tips@valleywag.com. [Matt Cutts, photo by ~C4Chaos]
Jason Calacanis tells everyone in the Internet industry, blog or die. Somewhere, Sun CEO Jonathan Schwartz is pumping his fist and shouting "Yessss!" [Calacanis.com]
RSS pioneer Dave Winer says an army of unnamed people are pissed at publisher Tim O'Reilly. (And it's totally not Winer's bitter recrimination for not getting an invite to last weekend's exclusive "Friends of O'Reilly" Camp, nor the two men's ongoing battle since 2000.) [Scripting.com]

Yahoo intern shows why Google is more fun than Yahoo

Nick Douglas — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 11:02:00 EDT

Who cares about market share and search algorithms — an exhuberant Yahoo intern just inadvertently showed why working at Google totally beats working at Yahoo. Paul Stamatiou blogged his reasons for loving Yahoo without realizing what he's missing at Google.

[Update: Hi, Diggers! If this article seems immature, that's because it's satire! Enjoy, and remember that people who read the front page get free drugs and candy!]

Google's free food beats Yahoo's free drinks. And Yahoo's "Starbucks-type caffeine vendors" ain't got nothing on Google's mango lassi machine. (You had to look up "mango lassi," didn't you? You poor soul. Googlers know what mango lassis are and they drink them for lunch.)
"The coders are sociable!" he says. Yeah, Paul, that means you'll have to make banter. With geeks. Try that on a non-mango-lassi-filled stomach.
Paul gets to hang around famous bloggers Jeremy Zawodny and Caterina Fake. Oh, that's really exciting, that's so—MATT CUTTS, BITCH.
Paul like's Yahoo's foosball. Foosball (pictured). Dude, the Jumpcut office has foosball, and they've got, like, ten employees and no air conditioning.
What about massages?
Everyone at Yahoo is on Yahoo Instant Messenger. Unlike the real world, where everyone's on AIM except that one "fight the power" AOL hater. And she's on Skype.
Name for Yahoo HQ: Yahoo HQ. Name for Google HQ: Googleplex. You got owned. As the kids say, you got pwned. You got punned.

Next up: Why Yahoo is more fun than Google.

Inside Yahoo! [Paul Stamatiou]
Photo: allyson thought he should play some foosball [janeymoffat on Flickr]

Remainders: To the CrunchCave!

Nick Douglas — Tue, 16 May 2006 00:44:43 EDT

Ballmer, Brin, and the other big boys take potshots. Google's Sergey Brin about Microsoft: "We just see the history of that company behaving anti-competitively and not playing fair." MS's Steve Ballmer about Google: "Can you imagine writing a letter to someone. 'Hey, Mom, I am upset with the gun policy.' Then an ad pops up and says, 'Hey, do you want to buy a gun?'" Yahoo's Terry Semel about Microsoft: "My impartial advice to Microsoft is that you have no chance." [ISEdb.com]
Matt Cutts is a Google celebrity. In the lame way that Walt Mossberg is a celebrity. [ClickZ]
Michael Arrington could make a million a year. But he blows it all on renting the secret CrunchCave and CrunchMobile. [OKDork]
Okay, fuck it. Gizmondo's Stefan Eriksson is so terrible that he's awesome. [L.A. Times]
Lloyd Grove gets pissy after Terry Semel teases him — in front of all the cool media people! Terry, that is just mean and you should apologize or Lloyd will keep sniping at you in his gossip column. [NY Daily News]
MTV plans to kill iTunes. The plan: "We will concentrate on people who don't have iPods." So, like, music for uncool people? [Financial Times]

Fool's droppings

ndouglas — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 11:13:28 EDT

Oh, Internet, you are so cute. Over the weekend, the Button-down-wearing White Guys of the Net made their blatantly disclaimered April Fool's Day gags:

¬ PR bloggers Steve Rubel (East Coast) and Jeremy Pepper (West Coast) teamed up to to form PR PR.
¬ Big sister Deathhacker battled the Z-words.
¬ Future AOL CEO Jason Calacanis ("We're also annoucing that we're buying Gawker Media") and Microsoft evangelist Robert Scoble ("the free food rocks for a fat guy like me!") joined the Plex.
¬ Google blogger Matt Cutts and Yahoo blogger Jeremy Zawodny swapped Kool-Aid.
¬ Yahoo bought Web 2.0.
¬ Three Frenchmen wished Apple a happy 30th. I blame the wine.

Translating Danny Sullivan

ndouglas — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 19:04:44 EST

It's fair, it's hard-hitting, it's "25 Things I Love About Google" by blogger Danny Sullivan. Sure, the Search Engine Watch editor will run 25 things he hates in his next column, but meanwhile he'll give some hero worship. But if you read between the lines you can see the real message — or the fake message that I made up:

He says:	He means:
Matt Cutts, Marissa Mayer, and Googlers in general are smart and dedicated.	I owe Matt twenty bucks, I want an interview with Marissa, and I could really use a free Google lunch.
They're smart and dedicated—	Smart. Dedicated. Smart. Dedicated. Okay, covered the talking points.
—and want to do big things that will help people in general.	Google won't hurt anyone — at least no one who matters.
Google itself is getting bigger and more frightening in certain ways as it grows. As a counterbalance, Googlers are imbued with a spirit you can't help but admire and appreciate.	As a counterbalance, Googlers run a hard PR campaign around Marissa Mayer that can't help but creep you out. "Ten to fourteen hours reading e-mail"? Face it — she's crazy.
And the good news is, their competitors have employees just as inspired and smart.	Stem tide of angry Yahoo e-mails...check.

Okay, maybe he does mean what he says. But when Danny's "25 Things I Hate about Google" comes out, we'll see if the hate is as harsh as the love was lavish.

25 Things I Love About Google [ClickZ]

Naptime for Sergey

ndouglas — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 15:28:35 EST

Three ways to deal with a grueling Google schedule:

1. Engineer Matt Cutts's Squeaky Wheel Plan: petition for later meetings.
2. VP Marissa Mayer's Lie Through the Teeth Plan: Live on four hours of sleep a night — or at least brag that you do.
3. Sergey Brin's Founders' Privilege Plan: Nod off and hope someone props you up before you fall into Larry's lap.

Sergey falling asleep [Flickr]
The Mind of Google's Resident Muse [Marissa Mayer, BusinessWeek]