I Can Has Cheezburger founder Ben Huh learned a hard lesson about food spoilage and expiration dates, while the rest of us cringed.

Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey is truly a man of many talents.

San Francisco Chronicle contributing food writer Derrick Schneider found a KFC concept he could get behind.

Not just a reality TV draw any more: MC Hammer is now in demand in academia.

NYU online communities guru Clay Shirky crossed his social software streams. Don't do that!

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

For those of you who don't know, Gravity Summit describes itself as a "bridge" between social networking media and business leaders. Basically, it smacks business leaders upside the head and tells them to use Facebook, Twitter and all those other sites to help make money. We're not sure what kind of money MC Hammer makes these days, but he has amassed more than 1.3 million followers on Twitter.

Perhaps it's because of his reality show, perhaps it's because of his camp value — regardless, people are getting regular updates about his happenings. And he knows what that means: there has to be a way "to sell those people something." Indeed.

That's why we've compiled a list of seven famous people from all walks who would be well-advised to get their tweets in gear to sell something, reclaim their formerly glorious profile or simply satisfy our selfish desires.

First up, Pete Rose. The former coach of the Cincinnati Reds was banned from baseball for betting on his own team. Pretty shitty. And against the rules. There were rumors recently that the ban, which prevents him from Hall of Fame entry, would be lifted, but those rumors were put to rest by baseball commissioner Bud Selig. If Rose were to get himself online and sell himself to the masses — maybe, just maybe he can get back into America's good graces.

Remember Michael Alig? Alig, the club kid who became infamous for killing his drug dealer and hacking him into tiny little bits, used to know about all the trends. (And, more importantly, be known all over town.) If he could somehow convince prison officials to grant him internet access, Alig could get a tidy online following ahead of his scheduled March 2010 release.

Oh, Burt Reynolds. He was hot, then not, then hot again and now, well, he's appearing in Not Another Not Another Movie. Sad. Now, Burt actually has a twitter page, but it hasn't been updated since November 25, 2008. For shame! One of the keys to Twitter is regularity. Considering the inactivity in your career, we're sure you have time. Go forth and tweet!

Okay, let us explain: most of the people on this list are infamous for one reason or another. Jo Beth Williams, the star of Poltergeist I, its sequel, The Big Chill and many other wonderful movies, is not necessarily infamous. Nor is she as famous as she should be: the most recent thing in which we saw her was an E! special on horrific Hollywood murders, on which she discussed poor Dominique Dunne (Dominick's daughter, who was strangled by an estranged boyfriend). Yes, there are other projects, but there should be more!

Rather than focusing on regularity, she should instead use Twitter to spread her political and/or cultural views. We suggest she start with a memory from her former soap, the soon-to-be-late Guiding Light. Time it with the news, Williams, grab a small headline or two, and then start letting your tweet flag fly.

Joan Collins remains a household name, yes, but so does Burt Reynolds. We guarantee that if Ms. Collins were to start tweeting about her private life, which we assume remains quite titillating, she would be all over the gossip rags, where she belongs. Plus, we're sure this woman can think of something to hock.

Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer pops up every once in a while to offer some thoughts on the current economic situation, but we know he loves the limelight. And Spitzer, who hired whores, as you know, would do well to get on Twitter and start offering pithy political opinions. If you do that, Spitzer, you'll be back on top in no time. Just stay away from Collins. She'll eat you alive.

Finally, Paul Reubens. The former "Pee Wee" has been working relatively steadily since getting out of prison and, in fact, has another Pee Wee movie set for a 2011 release. Regardless, "twitter" could be the magic word for him to claim a new fan base and ensure the world never forgets. Or, at least, remembers until the next person spouts out their 140 character musings.

Just like Facebook and Craigslist before it, Twitter is now an easy way to sell otherwise horrible crime stories to readers with a zeitgeisty twist.

Of course, none of these networking sites are inherently evil, but as they grow they encompass a wider array of human behavior, including, eventually, the worst forms. It's arguably newsworthy when the sites' users cross various depraved landmarks. A social network's criminal record grows less sensational as it becomes more common, reflecting the population at large.

The Twitter/rape story is extra newsworthy due to the connection to a famous rapper, and the fact that the accused is also a regular on MC Hammer's reality show, Hammertime, where he's known as "Lyin' Marv." Lyin' Marv is 100% culpable here, if he indeed found guilty in the attack. That said, it's worth noting that the dumb move in this situation wasn't so much using Twitter as it was scheduling a rendezvous, in a hotel, with a guy you met on the internet, with "lying" right in his name.

(Pic via)

The show's creator is Amy Ephron, novelist/screenwriter/sister of Nora, and is being produced by Reveille and Brillstein Entertainment Partners, in conjunction with Twitter co-founders Evan Willams and Biz Stone, of course.

The producers call their proposed series the first to bring the immediacy of Twitter to the TV screen.

''Twitter is transforming the way people communicate, especially celebrities and their fans,'' said Reveille managing director Howard T. Owens, who expects the new project to ''unlock Twitter's potential on TV.''

No further details were made available on the show's format or when it might hit the air.

Based on the vague details about the show to emerge so far, this already stale slice of American television crapcake sort of sounds like it's intended to be an Amazing Race meets Celebrity Apprentice meets, dare we say it, Gawker Stalker, style reality show. Let's just imagine for a moment MC Hammer tweeting about sitting in a booth at a Denny's in Knoxville, Tennessee with Ashton Kutcher, which would then spur Twitter users/show competitors to race to get there before both of them can polish off their Grand Slam Breakfast plates and win a $1000. Wow, that's television gold baby!

We'd like to offer congrats to Williams and Stone, who, in a desperately misguided effort to monetize their product, just managed to brutally slay their darling in spectacular fashion. The end is nigh fellas. You guys should put in a call to Henry Winkler's people so you can place him on a surf board off the coast of South Africa in the pilot episode, just to get it over and done with.

Web Service Twitter Proposes TV Competition Series [New York Times]

Twentysomething CNET reporter Caroline McCarthy had flashbacks to the '90s, even though she's too young to remember them.

Recessionista Laura Rich prayed for years of a crappy economy.

Tech analyst Michael Gartenberg didn't even try to have his Google conspiracy theory make sense.


Ex-Condé Nasty Kourosh Karimkhany, also a Gawker Media alumnus, plotted the launch of his Web empire with venture capitalist Fred Wilson.

MC Hammer got on a plane because it was raining, or something.

Anyone else's tweets we should keep an eye on? Send us more Twitter usernames, please.

Can you imagine, kids in their twenties having a good time? This must end! Didn't they get Sequoia's memo? Morin, Facebook's official speaker-to-geeks, turned 28 and rented a downtown art gallery Tuesday night to celebrate. After I tracked down Morin, I gave him a salami I'd picked up at VC firm Alsop Louie's party earlier that night. (It was a heartfelt regifting.) Besides Morin, I identified several other members of Camp Cyprus:

• Brittany Bohnet, Morin's steady Googler girlfriend and the other half of the Internet's cutest couple
• "Professor" Meagan Marks, known on Valleywag for her ancient-history stint as a recruiter (she's now working as a program manager)
• Joe Green, famous for his Causes application, infamous for his squarecut swim trunks
• Jessica Bigarel, a graphic designer at Apple
• Scott Marlette, the coder behind Facebook Photos

With Morin, that's almost a third of Camp Cyprus. (Sadly, Wall Street Journal Jessica Vascellaro wasn't there.) You'd think they'd be enough to bring down the Internet, but no.

I caught a brief glimpse of soon-to-depart Facebook founder Dustin Moskovitz, but didn't get to say hello — he left early, which just confirms his reputation as being not much of a party animal.

Things got a tad more surreal when MC Hammer showed up. When I left the party, the former rap star was chatting up angel investor Ron Conway, who has, yes, invested in the Hammer's inevitable startup.

Digg's Matt Van Horn plots with Keith Rabois, Slide's evil-genius mastermind.

Ron Conway invests in a glass of wine.

Working for Comcast sounds pretty good to Plaxo's Joseph Smarr and John McCrea right now.

Really. MC Hammer was there. At Dave Morin's birthday party.

I remember when he swanned into the offices of eCompany Now, a long-gone tech-business magazine I worked at, in 2000, camera crew in tow. They were working on a documentary about a "startup" that never materialized. There you go: Even that part of Julia Allison's business plan isn't original.

Burrell told the Financial Times he spoke with angel investor Ron Conway prior to teaming with Arone and Young on DanceJam. In an interesting side note, business partners might be surprised to learn that prior to his tech career, Burrell also dabbled in music. He's perhaps best know for his 2006 album titled Look Look Look. And here's a picture of Burrell with fellow entrepreneur Jay Adelson, the CEO of Digg.

Probably the biggest surprise last night was that despite Facebook's busy day announcing new features to allow users to spam each other, one of the company's Harvard connections still showed at last night's Founders Club party here in New York. Which one? ConnectU founder and litigious claimant to the Facebook throne, Divya Narendra, of course.

What, you were expecting Adidas? I asked Narendra what he really thinks of Zuckerberg, but he wouldn't. Didn't want to piss off his lawyers. Narendra was happy to dish on fellow wannabe Facebook founder Aaron Greenspan, however.

"I have no idea how he got that New York Times article," Narendra told me. "He has nothing to do with any of this."

Bitches just jealous.

New York angel investor Ron Conway also turned up last night. I'd have snapped a photo of him, but for a big fella, the man pulls a mean pirouette at the sight of a camera. And did you really want to see a photo of his backside? Silicon Alley wantrepreneurs are not allowed to answer that.

One thing I didn't know about Adelson: Apparently he lives in Dutchess County, north of New York, and commutes to San Francisco to run Digg. Does this mean we can claim him for Silicon Alley? (Ed.'s note: No.)

CollegeHumor's Zach Klein and Ricky Van Veen also showed, dragging down the whole affair with their ironic style and funny-looking glasses. They only cost $7 dollars on eBay. Father figures Josh Mohrer of BustedTees and Vimeo's Jonathan Marcus mostly managed to keep the boys in line, though dress code violations (sneakers) barred the entire crew from the Rainbow Room afterparty. Nobody said beauty was easy, fellas.

The Y Combinator guys may be acting starstruck, but maybe its MC Hammer who's playing the fanboy here. Y Combinator's coterie of entrpreneurs could easily return the favor by providing the rapper with real video services. Everyone, including MC Hammer, knows they can. Why would the startuppers reduce the Hammer to begging for volunteers — if not to subtly put him in his place?

(SnapLayout Demo Video by Dan Veltri)

• All the millionaires are long gone. Or at least they've been promoted enough that you don't have them blasting their audiophile make-you-weep $3000 speakers from the next cubicle.
• It's Hollywood, babe. When's the last time Tom Cruise visited Google and arm-wrestled the CEO?
• No, at Google, you have to say hi to MC Hammer — "No, it's cool, Hammer, you're still popular. What was the line...can't...can't hit this? Touch this? Good line."
• Googlers are so damn uppity. Oh, they act all laid back, but then you're chatting around the cafeteria and you name-drop, like, Arrested Development, and they're all "Oh I don't have a TV." Or if they do, the Tivo's stuck on "Battlestar Galactica."
• You're gonna get fat at Google. There. I said it. You can't control yourself, so the free food will kill you.
• Oh shut up, you would not use the exercycle and the swimming pool. You'd just roll the M&M's cart over to your desk and gorge.
• At Google, you've gotta pretend to like Sergey's t-shirt. Which would be okay if he wasn't always asking, "Does this make me look fat?"

Earlier: Yahoo intern shows why Google is more fun than Yahoo [Valleywag]
Photo: Cruise and Semel arm wrestle [maidelba at Flickr]

No big deal, usually. But Hammer doesn't have his own assistant handling this. No, Hammer has a helpful friend at Google, makers of Blogger. Between engineering projects, this web developer fiddles with Hammer's code. Now that's service.

I won't name the Hamblogger helper, but a little Flickr detective work will turn him up for you.

Look Look Look [MC Hammer blog]
Earlier: Stop. Hammer blog. [Valleywag]

Regular readers know that Hammer hung out at YouTube recently to rap (metaphorically, thank God) with the video sharing site's team. But will Hammer's name actually draw users to his video- and radio-streaming service, and will it actually have a negative launch-to-flip time? Oh, and is Liquid Generation wrong again?

Word on the street is that MC Hammer has been working on a top secret web start up for the better part of the last 6 months, while some are even speculating that the company might be bought up by Yahoo or Google before the product even hits public beta. Peep this.

MC Hammer's super secret web start up [Suck My Blog]
Photo: On the move: Hammertime [MC Hammer Blog]

In case no one pointed it out yet, the Bay-Area tech-friendly hip-hop star (the one who hung out at YouTube and Google, the one who digs the automated-DJ site Pandora) has been blogging since Thursday.

He "will bridge the gaps through music, video, blogs, melody and dance." He will explain hip-hop slang thusly: "One 'goes dumb' because he can escape the reality of feeling abandoned and left out from a society that isn't addressing his pain and frustration."

He will talk to his commenters. He will link to his own Wikipedia page. He will post camphone pics of the Braves cheerleaders.

Wait for his next album, "Please, Hammer, don't blog 'em!"

MC Hammer Blog [Blogspot]

Stop. Hammer time.

Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em!

The rapper's all over Silicon Valley these days. He's hung out at Google before. And apparently he's on the board a friend of the custom-playlist site Pandora. The superdope boy from the Oaktown is making 'em sweat.

Hammer Time [YouTube blog]
MC Hammer at Google [Flickr]