Need more examples? Here are commercials from MSN, Yahoo, and Ask.com. (I found them using Google and YouTube, a Google-owned video-hosting site.) Do any of them articulate a reason to switch search engines?

A dozen years ago, Microsoft broke Sun's run-anywhere Java technology, which was supposed to make operating systems irrelevant for most applications. The Windows version of Java changed one function call, in a way that seemed trivial. It made many apps written for Windows not work on other operating systems. Sun sued, cementing the company's has-been status. Microsoft eventually paid a token settlement for having cock-blocked Java in favor of its own buggy, security-violation-breeding ActiveX technology. I'm sure Bill Gates considers it the best $20 million he ever spent. Where was I? Oh yeah: Sun has been reduced to bundling a non-Java Microsoft toolbar with every Java download, to pick up a few extra bucks. I can only hope the Sun staffers involved are too new to be humiliated.

interesting analysis but i would also argue though that much of this is simply that members of internet's "C" team (AKA the people who have been running MSN) are jumping to opportunities created by the departure from Yahoo of the internet's "B" team (AKA Yahoo employees circa late 2008). left on the sidelines in dulles: the internet "D" team.

Click to expand the images, which Microsoft designer Evan Malahy told LiveSide he hopes "raise awareness not only outside of Microsoft, but help us (designers) have more traction and power to get these inconsistencies addressed."

First, there's Google. Why leave out the huge YouTube audience? Because, one presumes, NBC is growing wary of Google's power over online video. Odder still, though, is the omission of MySpace, since News Corp. and NBC have buddied up to build an online-video distribution venture. Sure, News Corp.'s Fox network competes with NBC, but you'd think the two would put that rivalry aside to pursue the goal of weakening YouTube.

ACSI researchers attributed Ask.com's gains to its visual presentation and more advanced integration of topic-specific search results. Meanwhile, Google's basic, utilitarian design — the hallmark of its appeal in the past — has become stale and in need of a refresh, analysts suggest.

It's all well and good to try to dissect reasons for the gains and losses in customer satisfaction. But unlike, say, the car industry, where ACSI scores are closely watched and touted in marketing, it's hard to discern any connection between ACSI's measures of customer satisfaction and the Web companies' market success. Web users choose search engines more by habit than anything else, and the Googling habit is well-ingrained. And advertisers make ad buys based on traffic and results, not customer satisfaction, making these results little more than a feather in the also-rans' caps. (Table from American Customer Satisfaction Index)

Greetings from your northern relations! You should do some poking around to find out more about MSN's Michael Rawding. He is on the payroll but hasn't done anything for 5-6 months now. He has NO reports, not even an admin! Ever since David Cole "left", Rawding played for his job or a large part of what was shaking out. When he didn't get it and SteveB's buddy Martin Taylor got to run marketing, mr. Rawding flipped a gasket. but alas, MS hasn't fired him yet and or replace Taylor with him.

Microsoft readers, fire up Outlook and tell tips@valleywag.com how Michael's enjoying his in-office vacation.

Earlier: MSN Meltdown: Michael Rawding quits (He didn't.)

But it's not as if Yahoo's the only search engine worth boycotting. Google's a scary hegemony that keeps all your data. MSN is run by the monopolists at Microsoft. AOL search is just too lousy to use. And every engine censors — some are just more honest about it. Any real boycotter has to get out of search altogether.

So how can an Internet user survive without search? The list is after the jump.

"You can't," says Chris Pirillo, the blogger who "Googlefasted" for two weeks. He got used to using Yahoo and his own tool, Gada.be, but living without search? "Might as well kill yourself." Oh ye of little faith!

• Call the library. The New York Public Library has a crack team on call (pictured), according to today's New York Times. "Every day, except Sundays and holidays, between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m., anyone, of any age, from anywhere can telephone (212) 340-0849 and ask most any question." Won't work for porn searches, but you can always ask what they're wearing.
• Ask chatters. Simple questions ("where I get free World of Warcraft plz") work in AOL chat rooms. Actually better than Google, which expects you to spell things correctly.
• Okay, AOL chatters know less than you do. Ask on an IRC channel.
• Enter whatever-search-terms.com — it probably won't be what you want, but if you're lucky, it won't be a malicious hacker's squatting site.
• Look it up in your 1989 Britannica. See, there's your answer: O.J. Simpson is "a popular football player."
• Let go of the search. Walk outside, feel the earth between your toes. Doesn't that feel better than searching? No? Oh heck, Googling just this once won't hurt anyone.

Yahoo! clear worst offender in censorship tests on search engines [Reporters Without Borders]

Google still wants Microsoft to stop pimping its MSN search on Internet Explorer and instead use a list of engines starting with the most popular, which — ha ha, oh we didn't know it was us, isn't that funny — is Google.

AOL cuts 1300 call-center jobs (where reps got bonuses for trapping people in AOL); the free-CD factory continues apace.

MySpace owner News Corp. might launch a wireless service — finally entering the only market already uglier than MySpace.

Amazon wants Net Neutrality. Google will fight for Net Neutrality, but only out of the goodness of its heart, mind you.

Yahoo and Microsoft still chase Google — or at least USA Today just found out about it.

Meanwhile, Google woos enterprise customers by teaming with Salesforce, Oracle, Cisco, Netsuite, and others.

Microsoft and Intel need more immigrants or they'll emigrate.

The Supreme Court lets EBay continue using Buy-it-now despite a patent dispute. Surprise surprise, the White House was rooting against EBay.

Apple, fresh from its own court victory (against Apple), enjoys another round of iPhone rumors.

Oracle is winning a boat race.

• The New York politician suing Google calls its alleged child-porn-ad income "obscenely profitable." Good one, New York politician. Good one. [CNET]
• Microsoft sinks another $1.6 bil into MSN. Meanwhile, Steve Ballmer starts lighting his cigars with hundred-dollar bills. [NYT]
• AOL plugs VoIP into AIM. How heartwarming to see the oppressive conglomerate phone companies trumped by an oppressive conglomerate media company. [NYT]
• Yahoo's ad network gets sued for click fraud; meanwhile, Yahoo boots MySpace-exploiting ad hosts. [InformationWeek; Search Engine Journal]
• Electronic Arts stock tanks, just in time for the company to disappoint gamers at the E3 convention. [TheStreet.com]

So much for this msn adcenter - I signed up, was charged the setup fee and the initial ad budget, now I can't even login as the site is down, and none of my ads are appearing on the msn search results.

Can't these guys do anything right the first time?

Trust me, reader — that's not a bug, it's a feature.

MSN adCenter [Official site]