• When you're ten-pinning tonight at Bowling 2.0, remember: guns aren't allowed in league play, no matter how many times that fucker from Skype shouts over his staticky VoIP phone. [Upcoming]
• Aw, cute, it's a mini-startup camp! We have a feeling it's something like this that launched Kiko. [Upcoming]
• Admit it, you're a Stargate SG-1 freak. Doesn't mean you have to dress like Teal'c when you come to this fan meetup. [Eventful]

Forget foosball and bowling — The Tennis Channel ping-pong team upped the ante for geek not-really-sports competitions when, still high from a victory over Activision, it swept a twelve-game match against Googlers in Santa Monica. The very serious press release follows.

From: [Moglen, Brandon]
Sent: Thursday, July 13, 2006 1:03 PM
To: All Employees
Subject: Tennis Channel Crushes Google

Tennis Channel Crushes Google

July 13, 2006

Santa Monica, CA (AP) — Google, the most powerful search engine in the world and a company valued at more than 100 billion dollars, was thoroughly routed in Table Tennis by The Tennis Channel. Defying all odds, The Tennis Channel's Table tennis squad beat Google at Google's Santa Monica office 6 matches to 1.

Yahoo!'s stock is up 1.4% on the news.

Team Captain Brandon Moglen wasn't surprised at the victory. "I use Google every day. And believe me, today, they got used."

Google laid out a fantastic spread of beer, wine and spirits to try and soften up the TTC team, but none of it worked ... though after the match the keys were taken away from Brad Falkner.

Falkner had the first win at #5 singles ...setting the tone with a 11-0, 11-7 win. Next up was Mike Kim, who was edged 11-9, 11-9 in two close games. Josh Ross got things back on track with a 11-7,11-7 win. At #2 singles, Brandon Moglen won convincingly 11-5, 11-3. #1 Nitin (King Kong of Ping Pong) Varma took out Google's top player 11-9, 11-7 to clinch it for TTC. Doubles was just a formality at that point, but TTC's teams of Ross/Kim and Varma/Moglen never let down and swept both matches.

Google has requested a rematch ... but only after putting in "How do you beat the Tennis Channel" into their search engine. It is reportedly the only phrase on Earth that comes up with 0 matches. Pictures of the epic victory are below. More Photos can be found on the Shared Drive/Ping Pong. The Tennis Channel Ping Pong team is 2-0 lifetime after beating both Activision and Google.

But since someone will be filming all of these events, at least we'll have video when someone from imeem pulls a Walter Sobchak.

Bowling 2.0 [Blip TV]

Beer flowed, balls were smacked, we learned something about Google co-founder Larry Page. Check out the video, a slightly trimmed version of the official Jumpcut cut by Jumpcut employees Ashot and Steve.

High point: Noticing that Jumpcut's foosball men are all named (and labeled) after soccer stars and businessmen. Low point: Summer heat making these geeks sweat and smell more like b-ballers than foosballers.

Valleyschwag vs. Jumpcut Foos Tourney [Jumpcut video]

Tournament dodgeball too much for you? Get your pansy ass down to Startuplay, "a club for startups" organizing foosball, ping pong, and pool games.

Forget extreme sports, it's time to network around the "office golf" cup again. Welcome back, bubble!

Startuplay [Wordpress blog]
Photo: Foosball frontin' [Will Pate on Flickr]