Motivational huckster Tony Robbins made a characteristically tasteful video about 9/11. His shorts did most of the talking, on this solemn anniversary.

Oprah called for a "tweet of silence" to commemorate 9/11. Wait, what? Is that even possible? Oh, it must be when you don't tweet for weeks on end, like Oprah.

Sweaty actress Lauren Conrad is looking for somewhere to shower. Application line forms to the left. SINGLE FILE!

Forbes' Bruce Upbin took a fun swipe at the Economist's bean counters.

Arianna Huffington is visiting Twitter. Will the internet publisher bring her new tech editor?

Did you witness the media elite tweet something indiscreet? Please email us your favorite tweets - or send us more Twitter usernames.

A great number of celebrities have found Twitter is a great way to communicate directly with the public, without filtering by the news media or a record company. In Reznor's case, his fan base consisted of a few too many angry, depressed people to make Twitter a pleasant experience.

It turns out the industrial rocker's fans weren't too happy when he started Twittering about the joys of being in love. And so he warned that he was going quit the Internet: "You are right, I'm not the same person I was in 1994 (and I'm happy about that). Are you?"

Rather than fade away as Dave Matthews seems to be doing, Reznor followed up on his threat by just cold deleting his account sometime within the past few days (he posted as recently as July 17). Which is especially startling since Reznor has been a pioneer in using the internet to distribute his music and connect with fans. He's now discovered that it's possible to connect too closely — and unlike internet fameballers trying to convert online fame into real celebrity, he doesn't have to pretend otherwise.

Arguably Twitter's most famous adopter, Winfrey hasn't posted to the service in more than a month. Her Twitter run lasted less than two months, but who can blame her? With a daytime talk show and magazine to run, a close connection to the White House and access to Broadway and Hollywood premiers and celebs, why bother with the banality of 140-character status updates?

Winfrey did just have a 10-day birthday cruise around the Mediterranean, but hardly explains her 33-day Twitter absence. It's possible a long summer break could explain musician Dave Matthews' 24-day Twitter absence, but what's the point of a vacation if you can't rub your friends' virtual faces in all the fun you're having, via Twitter?

At least Oprah and Matthews still have their accounts; Secretary of State Hillary Clinton outright deleted hers sometime after October, when she was still on the celebrity Twitter lists. Like Vice President Joe Biden, who hasn't posted to his personal account since August, Clinton is now tracked by a mysterious, impersonal "UNOFFICIAL TWITTER."

But of course, being on Twitter isn't any of these people's jobs. Not so with Jennifer Preston, the New York Times' Social Media Editor., who was called out this morning (by new-media zealot Jeff Jarvis, naturally) for going a full month without tweeting. Well, we kinda should have figured: Preston only recently unlocked her tweets, then promptly declared she's be "listening more than tweeting," while figuring out how to clamp down on tweeting by others.

But you can't even pay some people to tweet, is the point!

(Top pic via)

She spelled it "verginity," which is sad enough, but then it got even more disgraceful when her spelling was corrected by none other Elisabeth goddamned Hasselbeck, an old sneaker that Pat Roberston breathed life into one winter morning. So yeah, Barbara Walters doesn't know how to spell sex words. And Hasselbeck does. Sigh.

Walters also will probably cause Twitter to crash again just by featuring it on the show, and then Oprah will mention it again and it will crash a third time. And these two old ladies will continue yammering on about technology they don't understand until it topples over and doesn't exist anymore, which was their whole nefarious plan from the start. It's actually pretty genius. Old-lady-yap something you hate out of existence.

Though, Whoopi's been trying that on Hasselbeck for a year or so, and it's so far proven unsuccessful.

The show starts with Oprah excited about joining Twitter. (How adorable!) We know Oprah just got on Facebook a month ago and Twitter is all new to you. But how could you manage to hit "Refresh" rather than "Update" on your first tweet?

"Anyway, whatever!" she says. And that's why Oprah will win at the Twittersphere just like she does in all other media: It's her willingness to be exceptionally average, to get things wrong, to muddle along. Just like her millions of fans — the people who are probably hearing about Twitter for the first time today.

For some real amusement, check out Oprah sidekick Gayle King's Twitter feed. She complains about not being able to get her own name for her Twitter account, and manages to be even more inept at Twitter than her pal:

Ashton Kutcher plies Oprah with a lame explanation for his million-Twitter-follower race with CNN: It's not about a celebrity trying to feed his insatiable ego, it's about the "democratization of media."

Later in the show Oprah stumps Twitter CEO Ev Williams on how he can ferret out impostors on the service. "Our people know your people," is the best explanation he offers, and Oprah's pals don't buy it.

In preparation for today's big Twitter show, Oprah set up her account yesterday and has already attracted parodists, hangers-on, and an obsessive website devoted solely to the phenomenon of Oprah's use of the microblogging service.

The undercurrent of messages replying to Oprah on Twitter seems to be that Twitter will change Oprah. This new medium promises to let deserving people bypass the vast bureaucratic apparatus of Harpo Studios, interact with the queen herself, and get on her show. Which is nonsense, of course. After a day or two, some junior producer will be assigned to monitor replies and mentions and direct messages on Twitter. It will just become another mailbox to monitor for viewer feedback.

Instead, Oprah will transform Twitter. The addition of every celebrity turns it more and more into a broadcast medium, where the messages of everyday users are drowned out by famous people who are frankly more interesting. All of the petty publicists, search-engine marketers, blustery bloggers, and other riffraff are about to meet someone who is far better at self-promotion than they'll ever be. Welcome to Twitteronia, Oprah. The place is all yours.

She's already set up an account. Ashton Kutcher, a big Twitter user, is scheduled to appear on the show Friday to talk about Twitter. Ex-dating columnist Julia Allison is trying to recruit other Twitterers for the show. And videoblogger Robert Scoble has posted that Oprah is going to be doing her first tweet.

With so many Internet celebrities on board, how can it not be happening?

But it's inevitable that Zuckerberg has transformed from hostile nerd to nonstop chatterbox. His inane conversation with Oprah and her pals was the same kind of spew that Facebook is enabling through a redesigned homepage, the product of Zuckerberg's strange obsession with the much-smaller Twitter, a messaging service which counts some 6 million users against Facebook's 175 million.

One of those Facebook users is Kirby Bumpus (left), the 22-year-old daughter of Oprah pal Gayle King, who graduated from Stanford last year. King asked Zuckerberg if he'd be "interested." He demurred, saying that he was sure plenty of people would want to date Bumpus, who's also Oprah's goddaughter.

What Zuckerberg was too polite to say on air: Last we heard, he was already taken.

Oprah invited Perry on her show, as this clip shows, and thanked him. But Perry should be thanking Oprah. This is why every geek switches from blogging about APIs to blathering about politics. None of Perry's venture-capital investments would ever have gotten him on Oprah — but his volunteer work for Obama's campaign did.

Yes, type "tom cruise is gay" into Google and you get sponsored links to Gayvacationtravel.com — book your gay cowboy cruise today!
Even entering something innocuous like "tom cruise is handsome," and again Google thinks I'm either interested in learning more about Tom Cruise or going sailing with the gays.

Winfrey backed out of of the hybrid Internet-cable venture when she quietly sold her stake just prior to NBC Universal's acquisition of the languishing property. "Fifteen years ago, I wrote in my journal that one day I would create a television network, as I always felt my show was just the beginning of what the future could hold," says Winfrey. What happens to a dream deferred? If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. (Photo by George Burns)