Take last night, for example. The conference's official happy hour was packed, while the cocktail party hosted by Break Media, CollegeHumor, and other panelists from the "Comedy on Television and the Web" panel was far more relaxed. Attendees included CollegeHumor's Ricky Van Veen and The Office's BJ Novak. In between buying dozens of Kamikaze shots, Break Media CEO Keith Richman complimented Mahalo's Jason Calacanis's poker game. (Calacanis is a noted gambler, so much so that we sometimes wonder if he might have a problem.)

Break Media CEO Keith Richman, former Valleywag editor Nick Douglas, and New York writer and comedienne Caroline Waxler

We arrived at Digg's Second Annual Big Digg Shindig at Stubb's BBQ too late to see the live Diggnation taping — though we hear it was packed shoulder to shoulder — but just in time to see fanboys mob Diggnation host Kevin Rose and dispensable sidekick Alex Albrecht for autographs en masse.





NY Tech Meetup organizer, proven wantrepreneur, and host of The Interwebs Nate Westheimer

iLike's Ali Partovi and Hype Machine's Anthony Volodkin

Valleywag alumna and Boffery cofounder Melissa Gira Grant with Automattic's Matt Mullenweg

After a stop at an impromptu Next New Networks party, we headed to the Driskill Hotel. Microcelebrity egoblogger Julia Allison was flanked by fans who showed up after she sent a message on Twitter seeking reassurance of her self-importance. She has actual fans! Three of them!

Why is CEO Jerry Yang all smiles in these pictures with employees, some of whom he's about to lay off? Well, he's losing his job, too — as soon as the company finds a replacement. (The search is going so poorly that the company may end up tapping a board member out of sheer expediency.) Perhaps that sense of impending loss has allowed the company's billionaire founder to chum around so convincingly with rank-and-file Yahoos at a suburban racetrack south of San Francisco, dolled up to look like a poor imagining of Las Vegas.

The smiles and parties are part of Yahoo's problem. Remember that this company, which started as a collection of links Yang kept online, grew to be worth $100 billion and emerged from the dotcom bust without peer among Internet portals. Back then, a company mandate to embrace fun made up for long hours spent crushing rivals.

But Yahoo is now worth a sixth of its peak price, and its culture has since turned into a toxic parody of the kind of public-school self-esteem programs Garry Trudeau once mocked in Doonesbury. Work and achievement aren't properly celebrated at Yahoo. Instead, just showing up to work seems to be what counts. To keep up with Google, Yahoo lavished salary hikes and raises on employees; it now has an uncomfortable number of the overpaid and underworked. Long before the economy turned sour, Yahoo needed to cut back a good quarter of its workforce. As gloomy as the prospect of its coming layoffs are, Yahoo will still have too many employees. But its shareholders paid millions to throw them a party anyway.

More shots of Yahoo's last hurrah are on Flickr, the photo site whose employees surely wish it wasn't owned by Yahoo.

(Photo of Yang with employee by zhouyaoji, group shot by remfan)

Can you imagine, kids in their twenties having a good time? This must end! Didn't they get Sequoia's memo? Morin, Facebook's official speaker-to-geeks, turned 28 and rented a downtown art gallery Tuesday night to celebrate. After I tracked down Morin, I gave him a salami I'd picked up at VC firm Alsop Louie's party earlier that night. (It was a heartfelt regifting.) Besides Morin, I identified several other members of Camp Cyprus:

• Brittany Bohnet, Morin's steady Googler girlfriend and the other half of the Internet's cutest couple
• "Professor" Meagan Marks, known on Valleywag for her ancient-history stint as a recruiter (she's now working as a program manager)
• Joe Green, famous for his Causes application, infamous for his squarecut swim trunks
• Jessica Bigarel, a graphic designer at Apple
• Scott Marlette, the coder behind Facebook Photos

With Morin, that's almost a third of Camp Cyprus. (Sadly, Wall Street Journal Jessica Vascellaro wasn't there.) You'd think they'd be enough to bring down the Internet, but no.

I caught a brief glimpse of soon-to-depart Facebook founder Dustin Moskovitz, but didn't get to say hello — he left early, which just confirms his reputation as being not much of a party animal.

Things got a tad more surreal when MC Hammer showed up. When I left the party, the former rap star was chatting up angel investor Ron Conway, who has, yes, invested in the Hammer's inevitable startup.

Digg's Matt Van Horn plots with Keith Rabois, Slide's evil-genius mastermind.

Ron Conway invests in a glass of wine.

Working for Comcast sounds pretty good to Plaxo's Joseph Smarr and John McCrea right now.

Really. MC Hammer was there. At Dave Morin's birthday party.

Alsop hastened to clarify to partygoers that Wolaner is his "no. 1 girlfriend." Why the enumeration? He still has a habit of picking up other women. I mean that literally. I saw him pick a blonde girl off the floor and give her a full-body hug at the party. That's leverage, of some kind or another. I took one of Stewart's sausages to give to the host at my next party.

Conference

• Connectivity still an issue. Wifi out on Monday and the major celebs showed up to kowtow to King Arrington and Jason
• There is a secret mutiny going on with startups in the pay-to-play Demo Pit. They gave out poker chips to ticket holders to vote for their favorite startups, there 3 colors one for each day to decide. A single company, through the use of hot and semi naked booth girls has managed to monopolize Day 1's chips (80). The winner of the chips would get a review and extra publicity. So to counter the startup — which does something stupid — there are now alliances going on where other startups are grouping together and sharing their chips so that one company doesn't win. So far about 20 companies are in this coup.

Dinner

• Showed up for Nicole Jordan's dinner party at Lulu's. The bill was like $3k and I had to pay like $100 when I thought the meal was free.
• Calley Nye showed up, brought by Larry Chiang, but very quickly cozied up to Barney Pell of Powerset. They were hugging and cuddling and the guy had his hand on her thigh/knee the entire time.

Party

• Held at club Temple, they intermixed the TC50 crowd with the young kids that just randomly showed up. Music was loud and obnoxious and the crowd was a weird mix of uncomfortable geeks and drunk kids.
• snuck into VIP floor with Mark Cuban and entourage, bought him a beer
• Met [former FuckedCompany blogger] Pud and spoke to him about startups and AdBrite. he's finally very happy with with the way it's working right now.
• Jason calacanis showed up and he was pretty drunk most of the time.

After party

• At the W Hotel bar/lobby with Jason Calacanis, Mark Cuban, Frank Gruber.
• Mark had a gaggle of blondes surrounding him. Most look 18. He kissed and rubbed quite a few them right next to me as I tried to get drinks. One was very upset that Mark wasn't giving her enough attention.
• Jason Calacanis is blizted enough to be stumbling everywhere
• Met a drunk girl that work for Geni/Yammer. She's apparently David Sak's BFF, some major assistant to the producer of Rush Hour or something. Got recruited from LA to handle "book-keeping and HR." says she's under NDA but eventually figured out that she has stock and they're working out a way to sell Yammer, a side project, by the next month.
• Calley showed towards the end of the night and approached Jason Calacanis while his wife was standing next to him but then Mark Cuban.
• As the party ended she's managed to convince him to let her hold his hand while he's hugging and kissing the other blondes.
• When we got kicked she managed to get herself into the front seat of Mark's surburban along with his entourage and left.
• Jason left in a limo at 2:30am with a very disgruntled wife and most likely not able to wake up for TC50 Day 3

The crowd was small, our spy reports — "about 20-30 people, mostly TechCrunch50 finalists." SearchMe.com was one of the finalists — "some woman even Twittered that they got in." Arrington drives a gray Porsche, and "left with a ladyfriend, didn't get to see who." (Anyone know who he's dating? Do tell!) On to the pictures!

Arrington, even as host, never could seem to crack a smile:

TechCrunch CEO Heather Harde watches from the sidelines:

Arrington and Del Conte catch up:

And here Mr. Henderson shook my hand and didn't mind at all when I said it was really his longtime companion Tom Coates, part of the Fire Eagle team and old queer hand of the blogosphere, whom I came out to meet. "We're here in my circle of exes," Culver continued. "And I have one to toss back at you," I added.

The rest of the evening is lost in a botched Flip video file sync — no footage for you — and a flurry of text messages wherein I tried to locate the guy getting a handjob in the men's room at the end of the night. No help from Fire Eagle there! Tip me if you know who the lucky jack was? (Photo by Andrew Mager)

At August, things got crowded up real fast. There were more women in the crowd this year, a change from sausagefests past. But they were hardly breaking Valley gender barriers. The marketers at the Plista booth lamented that their competitors were getting attention by hiring cute girls to serve free beer. (I still don't remember what Plista does.) A fellow with an accent — possibly a put-on — asked Yahoo Tech Ticker cohost Sarah Lacy if she worked in PR, because "you're so pretty." Here's Lacy's account of the conversation:

Dude: "You girls are really lovely you must work in PR."
Lacy: "Did you really just say that? That's incredibly insulting. Never say that to a woman in any business setting."
Dude: "No, I just mean because every pretty girl I've met here is in PR."
Lacy: "Yes, I know what you meant. that's why it's insulting. It's like assuming a woman in an office is a secretary."
Dude: "Blah blah."
Lacy: "You know what? There's a lot of people i actually want to talk to here." (walks off)

He came up to me TWICE after that, interrupting conversations to apologize.

Lacy: "Look, I don't care dude. just don't ever say it again because it's textbook insulting."

Everyone was mesmerized by Julia Allison, the former Star editor-at-large (read: TV spokesperson) turned Wired covergirl. That is, if you were important enough to warrant a conversation with her. Once the 30 seconds of polite time she gives you is up she'd turn free agent and could easily be stolen by somebody like Facebook's Dave Morin. Speaking of being mesmerized, rap impresarios MC Hammer and Chamillionaire showed up as well. They mingled amongst the geek kids talking about tech and rap while the Olds just guffawed at the entire thing from afar.

As the party wound up and the business-card-swapping got all the more frantic, Duck9's Larry Chiang put his afterparty plan into motion. His brilliant scheme: Send the entrepreneurs a URL with an invite to the Four Seasons Palo Alto and misdirect the venture capitalists with an otherwise identical invite to the Westin — a plausible location, since that was where Chamillionaire was staying. For non-VCs, the choice came down to Chiang's pool party at the Four Seasons, or Julia Allison's expedition to the Cheesecake Factory with Randi Zuckerberg, the nerd chanteuse and sister of Facebook CEO Mark. I crashed the pool party. I like to think I made the right decision for Valleywag readers.

At the Seasons, we saw Brian Solis working the crowds like a pro. Justin Kan of Justin.tv enjoying the jacuzzi in his underwear surrounded by girls. Shira Lazar mingled with Michael Arrington (perhaps prepping for an interview). And I even witnessed Jason Baptiste of Publictivity pitch a movie deal to Sarah Lacy based on her book. Michael Cera to play Zuckerberg anyone?

Which brings us to a tweak in Arrington's business model. Michael, instead of charging sponsors for booths at the party party, why not sell sponsorships at the afterparty? I don't remember any of the companies who paid for my attention on Sand Hill Road. But the scenes of Silicon Valley's finest stumbling around at poolside? Burned into my memory.

Can we just say it? Julia has the buzz and attention these second-tier bloggers and video makers have dreamt of for years, and they can't stand it. Maybe you guys need to wipe off that mirror on your laps and take a good hard look. Over here, we're nothing but grateful for her success — Wired's Allison story, sure to be read by hundreds of thousands of our kind of people, namechecks Valleywag five times. (Photo by Brian Solis)

But he is not above a little strategic flaunting. Slide hired a Hollywood props firm to create life-sized versions of the sheep and other icons from its SuperPoke Facebook app, displayed like museum exhibits at the party. Could rival RockYou afford such a gratuitous show of wealth? With their latest funding round not quite locked down, unlikely. It's considered bad form to spend money while you're out raising more. And that was Levchin's point in throwing the party: It's not quite that he was spending money for the sake of spending money. He was spending money to show that he could.

Investing in companies, even at late stages, is a relative bargain because of the strong euro, and once a company goes public, the returns are doubled again because companies trade at a much higher price-to-earnings ratio on average than the do in Europe. However, after telling a story about entrepreneurs turning land in southwestern France being managed by the government into a newly productive wine region from which guests were tippling the bounty, Wellington's Eric Archambeau explained that the new office was going to focus on business development. "Who needs another VC in Silicon Valley?" he quipped.

One of the companies in which Wellington has invested is Seesmic, the online-video tool founded by the crushingly gregarious Loic le Meur, who bent our ear over enabling his company's technology in our comments. If it means TechCrunch's Michael Arrington might drop by to share some of his deep thoughts, then I might just be able to make Le Meur's case with our publisher.

The most shocking sight at yesterday's SF Pride parade wasn't the contingent of marching Googlers. It wasn't the Yahoo booth handing out temporary tattoos. It was the total absence of other tech companies, small or large, from what should have been a cheap and easy opportunity to build brand goodwill among the estimated one million attendees. Hello, Microsoft? Valleywag reporter Melissa Gira Grant helped build Float 183 for two nonprofit sponsors.

One hurdle is the huge price difference between fees charged to nonprofit corporations versus their openly for-profit counterparts — making money is the last taboo in this town. I haven't been able to get the numbers, but if the only company floats are from the likes of Clear Channel and Macy's, there's clearly room to make the event more affordable for startups. Come on, Web 2.0 marketers, negotiate something for next year. Also, be sure to put your logo up there as high and big as possible, so we needn't stand on tippytoes to see it.

If you don't live in San Francisco, here's the wrapup: 2008's gay-and-everything-else pride parade was nothing like The Onion's parody. As Americans have become more tolerant, SF Pride has backed off from the giant-penis aesthetic meant to "freak the breeders" or whatever. It's now tame enough that Yahoo's "Purple with Pride" slogan was one of the few dirty double entendres among blocks and blocks of sweater-bear family values statements.

The most conspicuously outsized demographic marching yesterday? Christians. Lots of 'em. Specifically, Christians willing to skip over Paul's admonishment against the Gays (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) in favor of a quote from the Big Guy himself: "Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." RTFM, people.

(Photo by Melissa Gira Grant)

The offending burgers.

Plaxo's Joseph Smarr and John McCrea deem the sliders Comcastic.

Here come the firetrucks!

Ladder at the ready!

Firemen converge on the culinary disaster.

"It was a sugar marathon that would predictably peak in the middle in a weird haze of digital SLR flashbulbs, Twittering iPhones, and San Francisco body odor," wrote Cagle of the blogging, livestreaming, and actual tasting of cupcakes. "Apparently, it is more important to prove you were there than to actually have fun, which is especially ironic when you can't stop bitching loudly about 'the damn media.'" We have met the media, and it is us. We just haven't figured it out yet.

(Photo by SFBG)

(Photos by NewYorkInsider and NYFoundersClub)