Gawker: valleywag, postini

Google and the seven dwarfs

Nicholas Carlson — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:20:00 EDT

Google's collection of Web properties somtimes seem unconnected and disorganized. But there's a common thread between Print Ads, Audio Ads, TV Ads, Checkout, YouTube, Postini and DoubleClick. Can you guess what it is?

The answer:

All are described as "not material" to Google's bottom line in SEC filings.

The poetic stylings of Sand Hill Road

Megan McCarthy — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 19:12:35 EDT

We're used to venture capitalists having, um, "wild" and "exciting" hobbies in their downtime. Like Bill Tai of Charles River Ventures, who spends his time kitesurfing. Or Kleiner Perkins founder Tom Perkins, the yachting enthusiast. Or First Round Capital's Josh Kopelman, who dabbled in indoor skydiving. Venture capitalists are supposed to be daring and innovative, which is why we can't get our heads around this latest trend: VC as poet. After the jump, a brief history of the genre — and the latest atrocious example.

The first dude who did this was Sand Hill fratboy Tim Draper, who penned the lyrics to "Riskmaster," and its Cyrillic sequel "Another Riskmaster." Then, at the Stirr holiday mixer last year, a group of VCs going by the name The Uprounds debuted the atrocious "Jingle Bells, YouTube Sells". At search startup Powerset's party celebrating their series A funding, Foundation Capital partner Charles Moldow crafted a self-serving "Ode to Powerset."

The latest entrant is Bessemer Ventures partner David Cowan, who last night recited a limerick celebrating the closing of Bessemer-backed enterprise email startup Postini to Google. Here's Cowan's poem:

There once was a founder named Scott Who invented a messaging bot That filtered out spam — be it virus or scam — Now we never get spam (not a lot).
John, who led us with class,
Thought a quick IPO would be crass.
But Cowan kept cryin'
To Quentin and Ryan
Which gave John a pain in the ass.

For spam and archive retrieval
Google came, and caused upheaval!
Are we now Googlini,
Postoogle, Gostini?
All they told us is just: Don't Be Evil.

(Image by toothpastefordinner.com)

Yet another Google acquisition

Tim Faulkner — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 12:58:47 EDT

Google trumpets its legions of PhDs, exorbitant benefits, and 20-percent time for side projects as incubators for innovation which produces its industry-leading software. So why is Google acquiring Postini, makers of enterprise communication security products, for $625 million? Because 20-percent time is a myth: Few employees use it, and those who do mostly waste it on cute tech indulgences, not credible and profitable business-class products. And because Google's developer expertise is specialized and consumer-focused, not enterprise-ready.

As Google tries to penetrate the business market with its expanding array of web-based apps, enterprise-level credit and capabilities are required. Google already licensed Postini products, but that reflected well on Postini, not Google. The shortest and cheapest path to respectability with CIOs is through acquisitions — not more hiring, not more free time to "innovate." Google has become the GE of the tech world — using a pumped-up stock price to buy its way into markets. Google's human-resources PR-speak about innovation may be good for hiring, but when it comes to producing real products and real results, nothing beats Google's enormous wallet.