Handy press release tip: When you issue your release, replace your XX's with the date.

Press Releases [Flipt.com via Kyle Bunch]

But try to open that third press release — "THUNDER FACTORY Makes Senior Hires to Expand Integrated Performance-Driven Marketing Capabilities" — and you can't. Says a reader, "That's probably because the two senior hires announced only last July have both left the company." Ouch.

Press releases [Thunder Factory]

> Melville, NY, April 10, 2006 > -> Thomas Public Relations, Inc. http://www.thomaspr.com, the leading public relations agency for Macintosh technology, announced today that it has been chosen agency of record by Spymac www.spymac.com, the world> '> s largest online Mac community based in NY, Dusseldorf, Germany and Alberta, Canada.

Pictured: Thomas prez Karen Thomas. The entire autoerotic press release (nasty forward-formatting and all) is after the jump.

> —————
> From: Karen Thomas
> Reply To: Karen Thomas
> Sent: Monday, April 10, 2006 1:00 PM
> To: Karen
> Subject: Thomas PR Signs Spymac World's Largest Mac Community
>
> For Photo of Karen Thomas, President Thomas PR, click:
>
> http://www.thomas-pr.com/136/photos/thomaspublicrelations.html or
>
> http://www.thomas-pr.com/136/photos/karenthomas.html
>
>
>
> For release, click: http://www.thomas-pr.com/pressreleases/thomasprspymac.html
>
>
>
> Contact:
>
> Karen Thomas
>
> Thomas PR
>
> (631) 549-7575
>
> kthomas@thomas-pr.com
>
> http://www.thomas-pr.com
>
>
>
> THOMAS PUBLIC RELATIONS SIGNS SPYMAC
>
> -> THE WORLD> '> S LARGEST MAC COMMUNITY
>
>
>
> Leading PR Firm will Execute PR Campaign for Spymac> '> s
>
> Innovative Online Mac Site
>
> Melville, NY, April 10, 2006 > -> Thomas Public Relations, Inc. http://www.thomaspr.com, the leading public relations agency for Macintosh technology, announced today that it has been chosen agency of record by Spymac www.spymac.com, the world> '> s largest online Mac community based in NY, Dusseldorf, Germany and Alberta, Canada.
>
> Thomas PR® was chosen because of its industry leadership and specialized expertise in public relations for Macintosh companies, with an over 10-year history of hit PR campaigns for Olympus, Foveon, Concord Camera, Lexar Media, Kidz Gear, SkipJam, Magix and many more. > "> We are very excited to be representing Spymac, the #1 largest Mac online community and trailblazer to new Mac technologies online," said Karen Thomas, President, Thomas Public Relations, Inc.
>
> Headquartered in Melville, NY, Thomas PR is a full service public relations firm highly skilled in new product introductions, media placements, product roll-outs, positioning/branding, trade show PR, press tour and event management. Thomas PR will be responsible for launching the new Spymac V site through media placements and press relations/branding programs.
>
>
>
> Kevin April, Spymac Co-Founder and CTO said, > "> Spymac is very excited to work with Thomas PR and selected the agency because of its proven track record and unsurpassed reputation. Working with Thomas PR allows us to better tell the world about our innovative online services and software.> "> Thomas PR is well-known within the press community for quickly responding to journalist> '> s requests, > "> Your public relations operation is the best one I have seen,> "> Maria Welych, Technology Editor, The Post-Standard. > "> Thomas PR is amazingly responsive and thorough!> "> Lynn Kent, Photoshop Elements Techniques said. And NBC-TV said about Thomas PR, > "> Thomas PR is one of the finest agencies in the business,> "> John Lentz, NBC-TV.
>
>
>
> Clients have said about Thomas PR: > "> She's aggressive. She brings results. That's what it> '> s all about,> "> Chris Sluka, Olympus. > "> Karen more than quadrupled our media presence in a very short period of time - she really delivers the goods,> "> said Jeff Mandell, Concord Camera Corp. > "> I have relied on the effectiveness, thoroughness, and professionalism of Thomas PR for over ten years. If you need to launch a PR campaign, the first person and firm I would call would be Karen Thomas at Thomas PR,> "> said Jack Peterson, Jadoo Power.
>
>
>
> Thomas PR> '> s clients include Fotonation (creators of the PTP-IP wireless standard and other camera technology), Jadoo Power (fuel cell power products), Unibind (office binding systems), Roadmaster (automotive technology products), Kidz Gear (children> '> s electronics), Magix Entertainment (popular consumer music, audio, video and photo software), Digital Foci (imaging storage, digital frames, and accessories), MagneticTime (innovative audio voice translations for iPods and cellphones), and The Great Kat (Classical/Shred music creator for the best-selling > "> Extreme Guitar Shred> "> DVD and music composer for the new movie > "> Coming Attractions> "> with Dennis Rodman and Pat Morita).
>
>
>
> About Spymac
>
> Spymac Network Inc. is a New York City corporation with offices in Dusseldorf, Germany and Lethbridge, Alberta. Originally launched as a Macintosh enthusiast site, Spymac has now grown to the largest international Macintosh community with nearly one million registered users. Spymac boasts innovative multimedia galleries, the first fully Mac-compatible drag-and-drop homepages, an iPod marketplace, member communities and much more.
>
>
>
> About Thomas PR
>
> Founded in 1993, Thomas PR represents the leaders in technology. The company delivers thousands of articles in high-level media and has won over 500 awards for its clients. Thomas PR> '> s President, Karen Thomas, was recently elected to the board of the leading digital imaging organizations: PhotoImaging Manufacturers & Distributors Association (PMDA) and the International Photographic Council (IPC), a multinational non-profit organization of the United Nations). Ms. Thomas was also named one of > "> Five People to Watch,> "> by Newsday. Thomas Public Relations has also won numerous awards for its PR services, including > "> 5 Star Rating> "> from Positive Image News, > "> Best Industry Press Conference> "> from Marketing Computers Magazine, and accolades from PR Intelligence, NextGenelectronics, NTS News and more.
>
>
>
> For more information, contact Karen Thomas, Thomas Public Relations, 734 Walt Whitman Rd #206, Melville, NY 11747 (631) 549-7575 email: kthomas@thomas-pr.com web site: www.thomas-pr.com
>
> # # #
>
>
>
> Thomas PR is a registered trademark of Thomas Public Relations, Inc.

Sex-related search terms included "sex on the beach," "sex fantasy," and oddly enough, "sex gift basket." [Lycos]
It's the thought that counts. Outsource your thought with our bot. [Smarter.com]
Somehow, Christmas is relevant to our Valentine's Day product. [ShopLocal.com]
Yeah, the only unsexy thing about shopping online is the load times. And the sitting at your computer in tattered underwear. [Ogilvy]
One word: Sexploration. Okay, stop giggling, we're serious. [TRUE]

"George Garrick has the background and experience to guide Jingle Networks —"

This empty suit comes in here and thinks he can run this show?

"— as we continue on a very aggressive growth path."

Yeah, I'll show you aggressive. A kick in the ass, that's what I can guide him to. Comes in with his statistics and acts like HE thought up free 411.

"His ability to scale a team from 20 to 200 and revenue from hundreds of thousands to tens of millions of dollars is the perfect fit for our team."

My baby! He's bloating my baby into a monster!

"We're thrilled to have him on board."

Damn VCs, bringing him on board. You name a company "Jingle" and they think it's their toy to play with. I wonder if we can sell before I get pushed out completely.

Come on, Valley flacks, give me a tougher translating job. Do an entire press release in Klingon.

Update: Scott replies, after the jump.

George Garrick Named President and Chief Executive Officer of 1-800-Free411 Provider Jingle Networks [Business Wire]

Scott Kliger e-mails in:

I am and have always been a technologist. If you take a few seconds and read my bio, you ll see that I ve been in the CTO role my entire career. I started Jingle and 1-800-FREE411 because it was a great business idea, but I always planned to bring in experienced sales and marketing management to help grow the business after the initial concepts were proven in the marketplace. That s what we are doing now and I ve known George since he was at Flycast and I was at Enliven and he is the perfect fit for us.

Touchy, touchy.