Well, eight months after it first started making headlines we finally managed to score an invite to the Zivity beta site, and now we can tell you: not very much.

After all the hype it's received, we expected ... well, something we hadn't seen before, or at least something pretty special. You know, something slightly more than just an opportunity to set up a profile page and look at some pictures of naked chicks female beauty.

Granted, Zivity has entered the market at more than a bit of disadvantage. With megaporn site (excuse us, modern pinup showcase) SuicideGirls setting a certain standard for adult communities online, it can be pretty hard for any new kid on the block to compete. Still, given that Zivity is clearly aware of SG (Missy Suicide is one of their photographers), you'd think they'd at least try to have a site that's more impressive.

No such luck, though: aside from the photos and their totally original voting system, there's not much there there Does anyone really need yet another website where they can set up yet another profile? Sure, the pictures are pretty hot (if a bit tame) ... but why do you have to have one more profile to keep track of just to look at them?

Sample model page

Sample Photo Set

Photo Upload Page (note: no nudity for nonmodels!)

To be fair, Zivity is in beta, so maybe they have some other features in the works that will be in place before their public launch. If not ... well, we sure hope at least a chunk of that $7 million is winding up in their models' pockets. We hate to see good money going to waste.

· Zivity

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Previously: Zivity's Big Score: Good Money After Bad?, Porn 2.0: Haven't We Been Here Before?, The New Porn.com: When Bad Things Happen To Good Domains

I'm one of the newest "gimme some candy" sites (I have a personal videoblog called Look Shiny). "They'll let just about anyone in," you may say. Actually, yes. The Candy system should be rolling out soon for anyone who wants to sign up their site.

Think of it as a way that creative bloggers can make a little money without ads, shilling, and selling out.**

*Theoretically, anyway. So far I've made five bucks, and I'm pretty sure that was just Erik testing the system.

**Not that they won't still sell out.

1. Registration
The process was as smooth as usual, though the verification e-mail went to my spam folder. Guess that happens a lot to a service with "get laid" in the title.

2. More registration
Getthemlaid.com makes me fill in my personal info first, probably so it'll be easier to admit later on that I just want to get myself laid.

3. Adding a friend
That was quick and easy! Here's Kevin's listing:

4. Getting them laid
Well, we'll have to get him a bit more in shape. And after he runs from Pennsylvania to California to slit my throat for this, he'll at least have some sexy calves.

Impressions
A simple site with a deliciously awkward premise. I recommend posting ads for all your friends.

Super Deluxe
My personal favorite. Turner started this site in January, seeded with sketches by comedians like cartoonist Brad Neely (creator of the "Washington" music video), standup artist Eugene Mirman, Law and Order actor Richard Belzer, News Radio actor Dave Foley (running a talk show from bed), and NYC comedian Chelsea Peretti (her schtick is asking strangers to be her friend). I also recommend sketch group Honor Student (which ran a "Pay it Forward" style clip about a kid with a weiner joke) and actor Bobby Tisdale (who plays an awkward B&B owner who raises a fighting cock).

So far, Super Deluxe has the most (and most consistently) funny videos of the whole crowd. A surprising number come from user submissions. The whole thing is beautifully put together in a well-designed site with tastefully integrated ads. The only problem? There's not enough new stuff each day.

Rating: HILARIOUS

Acceptable.tv
Acceptable.tv has its own set of producers who make shows like Homeless James Bond (oh. my. god. watch now) and Lord of the Phils. Acceptable.tv features pretty high-budget shows (more expensive-looking than an SNL sketch) but keeps an indie feel to the comedy.

Apparently Jack Black helped shepherd this project based on Channel 101, a monthly video showdown where aspiring filmmakers made episodic films for theater and internet audiences. Jack Black, Sarah Silverman, and a pre-SNL Andy Samberg all participated in that.

At Acceptable.tv, the user submissions kick ass too. For instance, L33t Haxxors (again. oh. my. god. watch) actually makes new hacker jokes: the heroes meet a bouncer who asks for a password, so they shout "Your phone number! ABCD! Your mom's phone number! Password!" Contextual ads flick across the screen. Someone wears a Digg t-shirt. That's why this sketch won a spot on VH1 along with the top-user-rated producer-made shows.

Rating: HILARIOUS

Rooftop Comedy
This site has a more baroque feel. Most of the clips are from standup routines, and the comedic styles feel more old-school.

Rooftop is the most orderly of the comedy video sites, putting clips into channels like "songs," "politics," and "bathroom humor." No one clip blows me away (except for the clever This American Life send-up by Kasper Hauser), but the collective effect of watching ten thirty-second clips is fun. Also dig the "daily 8" sidebar, which satisfies the craving for a new clip much better than sites like Super Deluxe, where clips can reappear on the front page months after they first show up.

The downside: Standup doesn't play as well on the internet. Also, the banner ads constantly reload, which doesn't do much when there are only about three ads to cycle through.

Rating: FUNNY

Funny or Die
If other video sites were a football team, Will Ferrell's new site "Funny or Die" would be the aspirational water boy. The videos are crap, the design's crap, and the random-stream-of-videos-regardless-of-quality interface means skipping a lot of low-rated clips that should already be out of rotation. It's like this site is designed to hurt you. But replacing the usual five-star system with a no-nonsense vote — after every clip, you get to rate it "funny" or "die" — is a smart trick that could turn this into the best user-voted collection of comedy.

Just not yet.

Rating: MEH

Nick Douglas writes for Valleywag and Look Shiny. You can't rate Look Shiny, which is probably good news for Nick.

Swaptree

• Service: Sharing site
• Status: Private beta
• Is it any good? Frustratingly so. Beats the competition by being free and flexible — just throw in everything you're willing to trade out, list everything you want, and Swaptree shows you everything you can get for your stuff. The system auto-arranges three-part and four-part trades to make a thick web of borrow-ability.
• Business plan: You're giving Swaptree of all the media passing through your hands, and your zip code. Holy targeted advertising, Batman!

Limbo 41414

• Service: Bid pennies on products from your mobile phone. Lowest unique bid wins.
• Status: Funded by DFJ, working out its partnerships
• Is it any good? The setup's gimmicky, but hey, this is a world where people pay two bucks for a ringtone.
• Business plan: Sponsored auctions — hey kids, bid on the new Sony plasma TV! Tell all your friends! — and occasionally charging a buck per bid.

Three more after the jump.

oqo

• Product: A handheld computer running a full version of Windows XP
• Status: In production for a year now
• Is it any good? Pretty cool, and it fits in a cargo pants pocket. But since it's market toward the suits-and-slacks crowd, this heavy thing will end up clipped to belts. Works with wifi, but what good is a handheld that doesn't run on cell networks?
• Business plan: 1. Make product. 2. Sell product. 3. Profit!

Inkling

Browster