I can hear the 20somethings in the audience scratching their heads: "Who's Mary Meeker?" Back in the '90s, investment banks' Internet analysts were superstars, viewed as oracles and rainmakers. In 1999, Meeker, Morgan Stanley's lead Internet analyst, got a profile in the New Yorker. The text is not online, but I distinctly remember how it chronicled Meeker's nonstop activity. The only time she was still was when she boarded an airplane, closed her eyes, and slept through the flight. Could she have stayed awake, had she known she could achieve download speeds of 989 kilobits per second, with a latency of 108 milliseconds, for the low, low price of $12.95 a flight?

Inflight connections, currently on a handful of flights, will rapidly go from novelty to necessity. Bosses will expect workers to log on nonstop; why shouldn't they? Even on leisure trips, compulsive connectors will go online out of sheer habit. I recently remarked to a friend, "Planes are for sleeping." That's before I got onto Gogo. Alas, poor Mary; even soaring above the clouds, there will be no rest for the weary.

Southwest is the airline which once tried to kick off a Hooters Girl over her miniskirt. A flight attendant told our Chadrick to take off his shirt because Southwest is "a family airline." Apparently a shirtless guy on a plane was deemed less offensive than his T-shirt. Sadly, he covered up with a jacket instead. But his questions about Southwest's clothing policy irked an attendant enough that she had a cop get on board the flight at LAX. He narrowly dodged them by holding his bag in front of him as he got off the plane. Next time, Chadrick, fly United. You're too important to the future of the Internet to go to jail.

(Photos by Chadrick Baker)

Southwest Airlines Bringing the Internet to the Sky Via Satellite DALLAS, Jan. 23 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ — Southwest Airlines will be the first US carrier to test satellite-delivered broadband Internet access on multiple aircraft. With this innovation, Southwest Customers with a wi-fi enabled device will have full access to the Internet including e-mail, music, shopping, and virtual private networks (VPN) via a high-speed connection. Southwest Airlines is partnering with Southern California-based Row 44 and hopes to begin testing Internet capabilities on four aircraft this summer.

"Southwest Airlines is pleased to announce its partnership with Row 44, and we intend to deliver the highest bandwidth available to commercial airlines in the United States," said Dave Ridley, Southwest Airlines' Senior Vice President of Marketing. "Southwest's selection of satellite technology will offer a more robust experience for more Customers per aircraft versus other solutions available in the marketplace."

"Southwest is looking for the best solution for our Customers not only for Internet e-mail access, but for additional inflight entertainment as well," Ridley said. "We look forward to exploring this cutting-edge technology with Row 44 and hope this will keep our Customers productive and entertained inflight."

"We're excited to partner with Southwest Airlines to keep passengers informed, in touch, and entertained," said Gregg Fialcowitz, President of Row 44. "This service will set the standard for excellence in inflight connectivity."

After almost 37 years of service, Southwest Airlines continues to differentiate itself from other airlines-offering low fares and a reliable product with impeccable Customer Service. Southwest Airlines is the most efficient airline in the sky and offers Customers a pleasant traveling experience. Southwest recently updated its gate areas and improved its boarding procedure to make flying Southwest productive and convenient. Southwest Airlines (NYSE: LUV), the nation's largest carrier in terms of domestic passengers boarded, currently serves 64 cities in 32 states. Based in Dallas, Southwest currently operates more than 3,300 flights a day and has more than 33,000 Employees systemwide.

Row 44 is the fast, global, fleet-wide solution for inflight broadband services — high-speed Internet, video entertainment, cell phone support, and airline operational services. The system offers wide-body, narrow-body and even regional jet support along with flexible service deployment options. And its cost effective because installation is quick, the hardware is light, and the service leverages existing satellite networks.

1. Wash your hands. There is a reason one PR firm constantly told everybody to carry anti-bacterial sanitizer — you shake all those hands, after a while, it gets gross. You can avoid a lot of stomach problems, cold sores and pink eye by either not shaking any hands or being neurotic about washing/cleaning your hands. I am not joking. There was a decline in people getting sick after it was pushed to do this.

2. When leaving the Las Vegas Convention Center, don't wait in the cab line — walk straight up the cross street it's on and there's a hotel. Never a wait for cabs. It's about two blocks away. Zero line.

3. When in doubt and the cab line is long, step out, wave money and hurry — you more than likely will get a cab, and you'll have just cut in front of everybody so you better hustle. It's snarky, but when you are late for a miserable client who constantly complains and expects you to be super girl, it can be the only way to go.

4. It is virtually impossible to get a reservation anywhere, yet the Buccaneer Bay restaurant in Treasure Island is a secret place for amazing food — especially dessert. No, it's not baller status by any means, but if you're starved and can't get a table, you won't be disappointed, more than likely.

5. There is an outstanding tailor in the Aladdin shops area [editor's note: now the Miracle Mile Shops by Planet Hollywood] that does on the spot work while you wait. Great for hemming those sexy black pinstripe pants you found for wearing to the clubs.

6. Paris hotel is the most convenient location on the strip to get to the LVCC because you can go around its side street or back to get to the main drag the LVCC is on. It's also very clean with good service and you don't have to wind through an entire casino to find your room (like with most of the casino hotels) — elevators to rooms are literally just off to the right.

7. Mandalay Bay has the best buffet. I got sick at the Mirage.

8. I do believe that I heard rats or mice in the walls at the Palm last time I stayed — I was gravely ill and bedridden to where things got very quiet and there was definitely something in the walls.

9. If limos are lined up, ask people in the cab line (even if strangers) to share. Most of the limos will match what it'd cost for cab, or close to — and if you divide it up between 10 people, it's actually very cheap.

10. The back side of the LVCC is always good for grabbing shuttles — less traffic. Granted you'll have to walk a little further but you at least won't have to wait in that dreaded line.

11. Only the cheesy people brag about attending the parties, unless there is a banging band playing. It is still tech, it's still nerdy.

12. No, the cute PR girls do not want to date you. They are just hawking you for clients.