Kristen says:

The avatar I am now is quite stunning. She is everything I should have been years ago, slim and attractive. I finally felt I could be who I wanted to be. I felt stronger.

You do everything [in a Second Life wedding, performed 10 weeks after she met Steve online] you would do in real life like chose the dress, chose the flowers, chose the venue.

Steve says:

Eventually there were suspicions. There was one occasion I was in our house in Second Life and there were pictures of Nik and Kira on the wall holding each other and my ex-partner saw them. She looked at it and said "are you having an affair?" I just went cold and said it's a computer game don't be silly, what could possibly be going on?

People we speak to in Second Life complain about real life getting in the way of their Second Life time. Given the choice they would almost live there permanently.

Thank god the couple says they've moved on past Second Life (they only log on a bit) and back into the world where Kristen can raise her real live daughter.

Of course, just when Second Life starts to sound not that life-ruining, Showbiz Spy tells the story of Carolyn, a woman who neglected her husband and four children to spend 14 hours a day on the game.

After telling the story of her drawn-out online relationship, which she turned into another failed real-world relationship, Carolyn says, "I wish I could feel connected and in love back in my marriage again. If I could push a button that's what I would do." Glad to hear so much commitment!

BitTorrent: Guy asks girl to watch movie. Guy downloads movie in two hours with BitTorrent. Guy and girl watch movie. Guy gets laid.

Wii: Guy upgrades from Nintendo 64. Guy suffers "Wii elbow." Guy soldiers on. Guy loses weight. Girl digs guy. Guy buys second controller. Girl trounces guy at Wii Tennis. Guy gets laid.

LiveJournal: Girl puts down razors. Girl picks up laptop. Girl blogs. Girl blogs. Girl updates mood. Guy IMs girl. Girl puts on best eyeliner, least-ripped black fishnets, meets up with guy. Girl gets laid.

iTunes: Guy and girl plunk down laptops in cafe. Girl connects to guy's iTunes. Guy changes iTunes library name to "Hey, are you that cute girl with the Dell?" She changes hers to "Yeah, you the boy with the giant smoothie?" "Yep. Try the Apples In Stereo. Good band." "Hey, you're pretty cute yourself. Got an extra seat at that table?" Guy gets laid.

Facebook: Guy talks to girl. Girl agrees to lay guy if he gets 150,000 group members. Guy forms group with self-explanatory title. Guy gets 150,000 group members (mostly guys). Guy gets laid.

LinkedIn: Girl grows out of Facebook, deletes profile to stop stupid guys from inviting her to groups named "If this group gets 150,000 members I'll get laid." Girl joins LinkedIn. Girl gets job. Girl meets guy at industry conference. Girl doesn't get his info. Girl finds him on LinkedIn. Girl gets laid.

Gmaps mobile: Guy heads to restaurant for date with girl. Guy gets lost. Guy looks up restaurant on phone. Guy finds date. Date goes well. Guy gets laid.

iPod: Girl sees guy on subway. Girl offers earbud (having, of course, discreetly wiped it off first). Guy and girl listen in stereo. Shins change guy's life. Girl gets laid.

OS X Dashboard widgets: Guy writes widget to say "Will you marry me?" Girl sees widget. Girl says yes. Guy gets laid forever.

So. You got one?

That said, a reader swears that prominent Google VP Marissa Mayer and co-founder Sergey Brin are dating, and have been for at least six months.

While such a corporate pairing would be juicy, it's most definitely bull — Sergey was spotted with girlfriend and Googler Anne Wojcicki at Burning Man in August.

Valleywag broke the news (sure, "everyone who's anyone" knew it but real people didn't) this February that Mayer's old boyfriend was Google's other cofounder, the nerdier and supposedly less handsome Larry Page. At one point, Mayer allegedly dragged Larry in front of Google staff and made him announce that they were a couple.

Hope you find that leaker, Google.

Update: Someone called Sergey, from a credible email address, writes in: This is not true for me and Marissa.

Schmidt blocked photos of he and his wife while up at his new $16million home in Nantucket. Maybe his girlfriend Marcy Simon would be upset as she waited in the house he recently purchased for her in New York's Fire Island for only $1million. He was a frequent visitor out in Fire Island last year but he has not been seen there yet this summer. All leads to credence that he doesn't want to upset the PR diva.

Tipster 2 says:

Good posting yesterday regarding Eric Schmidt and not allowing photos of he and his wife. Probably was real sensitive about it as he is away in France for the week with his girlfriend Marcy Simon for her annual birthday trip with him. Last year is was Lake Como, Italy.

In related news, Valleywag needs an agent who can visit the Redwood City courthouse. E-mail tips@valleywag.com to volunteer.

Earlier: Please don't photograph the Google CEO and his wife; his girlfriend would flip

So get this. First, a 14-year-old girl sued MySpace because she met a 19-year-old on the site who pretended to be in high school. This is, of course, MySpace's fault.

Now, the 19-year-old (college student Pete Solis) is countersuing — also against Myspace — because the girl pretended she was 15. "He's been, in effect, just as much a victim — if not more," says his lawyer. Solis is facing felony charges of sexual assault, which would be just the same if the girl was 15. This is, of course, MySpace's fault.

The couple in question met online, lied to each other, met in person for burgers, went to a movie, and then fooled around in Pete's back seat. This is all, of course, MySpace's fault. And the lovers' pain can only be assuaged with millions and millions of Rupert Murdoch's dollars.

A Countersuit in the MySpace Case? [TIME]
Earlier: Girl sues MySpace because boys are too hot [Valleywag]

W4M

• First one's a winner: "I prefer guys in tech because I've never met a dumb one and love technology, which means I'm cool with computer pieces all over." This 25-year-old wants a guy from 25 to 35.
• A 31-year-old software engineer throws two dogs into the deal. She just returned from the Netherlands, and she's a wine, cheese, and crying-at-the-movies fan. And she's utterly selling herself short as "slightly cute."

Ladies, M4W is after the jump.

M4W

• 35-year-old software engineer seeks "discreet" college student for "outdoor sports." Oh. Actually he probably means those literally. Boring.
• One entrepreneur's headline says it all: "LOOKING FOR LOVE SOUL MATE FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" No, startup founders aren't 13 now — this one's 44. "My startup project is my dream and I am working towards my dream and I know my dream is going to come true soon. My second dream to have loving soulmate and life partner with whom I want to be until end of this lifetime."
• If this next one's sense of humor doesn't get you hot, don't worry — he just wants something platonic. "I always give things a chance to grow on me, INCLUDING moss, because I'm be a fungi to be with."
• Today's charity case could really use a friend on Oracle Parkway in Redwood City. In the last week, this gentleman's posted two separate missed connections, three appeals in the section called Casual Encounters. Reward his hard work — he just wants an IM/e-mail flirt partner.

Strangely, on the eve of SF Pride 2006, all the geek posts are straight. Send any good W4W or M4M (or fantastic W4M or M4W) posts by Valley tech workers to tips@valleywag.com.

Well, according to this tip, Eric could beat both of them to "I do."

Google CEO Eric Schmidt was spotted with his girlfriend Marcy Simon on Saturday on the beach in the French Riviera with Marcy sporting a huge yellow diamond engagement ring. I guess he actually is divorced and is readying for a long-term relationship.

Chances are, that's President Marcy Simon of PR and media consulting firm WCTV. Aha, Eric wasn't just looking for love. The efficient exec knows that now he can score free advice to prop up Google's flimsy PR arm. (And maybe throw in some private public speaking lessons.)

Earlier: Valleywag exclusive: Oh Schmidt! [Valleywag]
And: Larry Page ain't engaged [Valleywag]

• And who are the suave, snappily-dressed men to offset the nerds? Venture capitalists. Oh, perfect, because as admin assistant Sand Hill Slave can attest, nothing's hotter than a coked-out stripey-wearing VC associate who keeps bragging about his job. [Sand Hill Slave]
• And the women of the Valley? "Hot for Silicon Valley" isn't a slam on real looks — it's a slam on every woman who insists on wearing a pantsuit from the 90s.
• Closing time in San Francisco: 2 AM. Closing time in San Jose: 2 AM. Closing time in Cupertino: 2 AM. Come on, California lawmakers — bar-going geeks need at least another hour to loosen up.
• The bedroom's out of wifi range.

Then again, it could be worse — we could all be in Washington, with all the romance of Silicon Valley and all the intelligence of Miami.

Did a bit of math today and am willing to share anonymously:

1. Pre 2006:
a) circulating gossip pertaining Google execs
- Sergey Brin shares rides to work. Delivered by the matrimony quasi sister-in-law
- Larry Page made a printer out of Lego. At the age of 9.

b) juicy factoids pertaining Google execs not made public
- Larry Page dating Marissa Meyers
- the founders' harem of PAs (see flickr and comments around)

2. Come 2006:
1. The Larry Page, Marissa Meyer hot office affair former levels of collegiality finally revealed. By none other than the M&M herself.
2. Excruciatingly juicy details of said affair come to light: M&M used to time Larry Page with a metronome.
3. Few months within new relationship, new Larry Page girlfriend (if you have doubts: far right, with the bottle) splashed all over the tabloids.
4. Staged, but offending (for the parties involved) at the same time jet posing of Larry Page and exec girlfriend. Staged, but coy leaking of said pictures. Blamethrower aimed at other exec girlfriend. Oh, the drama!
5. Sergey Brin feeling slightly offended of all the attention directed to fellow co-founder. Larry Page offers a joint stunt - "We are getting married!" No, not to each other, although that might be an option, if the stocks dip low. As in "Hollywood aging star posing for Playboy" desperation.
6. Sergey Brin takes the wheel in his own two hands: mixes drugs, outrageous amounts of money, young cuties and sex in the same party-news. Comes out feeling sorry for himself. So, do we.

Few personal observations and unanswered questions:
- Eric Schmidt, the one who will most likely be pointed out as the sleazy one in a routine line-up including the founders, comes unscathed as a lamb. (I am not in any way suggesting that he is, simply implying that Sergey and Larry still have boyish charms.) Is that whole thing a personal vendetta? Was it Larry and Sergey who dug out Eric's personal data last year and tipped CNET, so that he needs to retaliate?
- Maybe the Google founders joined the super-exclusive, at_least_5_billions_net_worth, year 2K complacent, web 2.0 gossip-a-month club "Chez Hilton"?
- Or maybe, just maybe, gossip and celebrity rumors constituted the majority of searches on Google in the past years, so the Google's PR machine steered clear of the land of flowers, bunnies, shared car-rides and "don't be evil" lullabies?
- Is Valleywag arousing (compare number of comments on the gossipy news as opposed to regular ones) its own readership by throwing in sex and scandals. Amidst the serious journalism, that is.

Of, course I may be all wrong. It may as well be a terrible misunderstanding. But until proven wrong, am eagerly anticipating the next twists on the Google soap opera.

Newmark calls his girlfriend the Girlfriend, as if he's never had one before. ("I got the Girlfriend tickets for that show, which gave the Boyfriend good Boyfriend points," he confides.) Eileen Whelpley, aka the Girlfriend, is a technical designer for Gap and a talented flamenco dancer. She hates being called the Girlfriend and is unafraid to tell Newmark so - or me. She insists her correct name is used in this piece.

By the way, Craig's proud of Eileen's flamenco skills — he hasn't seriously danced ever since ballet lessons landed him in the hospital.

Falling for super-geek [London Times]
Photo: SXSW 2006 Sunday [Laughing Squid on Flickr]

In any case, sounds like this girl deserves a "Tom is NOT my friend" tee. The story, passed through another boy:

So, I hooked up last week with this half-Asian very hot Suicide Girl on - where else - MySpace.

Post-dirty sex, she's telling me "Tom from MySpace really liked that picture of my ass. He wrote me last month (post bad press) and told me he wants to 'hit my ass.' He offered to fly me to LA, but —"

Discover Tom's caveat after the jump.

"— he'd only pay for half the flight as the last girl who he flew to LA was hooking up with other guys in LA while he was at work."

Thus, without a full free ticket, she passed on his offer of cut-rate anal.

So, if you're only getting some of the trim (or ass as the case may be), you should only pay for half the flight?

And this is - as well as post bad press - post multi-million dollar "extra retention bonus."

Classic.

Tom's alleged excuse about "the last girl" sounds sketchy. Hard to believe a girl tapping Tom Anderson would need more LA hotties to keep her satisfied — unless this was during Tom's emo phase.

How do you break the 12-photo rule and get 51 snaps on MySpace? Step 1: Date Tom Anderson.

MySpace Tom's secret Real Friends list is still a mystery, but here's one girl who's definitely on it. Tiffany Chao ( is just 22 (to Tom's 30) and fits Tom's rumored demographic just fine. Judging by their photos and comments, they're a real hot item. They headed out to Chichen Itza together, and they hang out on Tom's stomping grounds in L.A. And when Tiffany posted a snap of her and Joaquin Phoenix (or at least a wax figure of Jo), Tom got defensive: "he is 7 feet tall, but i'm 7'1,"" he commented from his secondary friends-only profile.

But one detail really made me perk up: Tiffany lists herself as "single." Either Tom's due for a lot of MySpace drama, or he's still single too — which means you could hook up with the Myspace Mastah and get your own 51-picture profile.

Tiffany [MySpace profile]

I know Lucy (relative) - and she does not think that Larry is responsible for the ring as they have no plans to becoming engaged anytime soon. Sergey isnt engaged either. Now maybe both women will be surprised with rings they don't expect?

It's hard to believe that as paranoid as Larry is about privacy that he would allow himself to look at rings in front of other people.

Again, it's your call whether this is a true relative, or an Adsense sales rep with a rich fantasy life.

Earlier rock-buying rumors: Larry Page is still shopping for rings [Valleywag]
It all started here: Which Google guy got engaged? [Valleywag]
More Larry rumor-quashing: Did Sergey Brin get engaged? [Valleywag]

Wanna know the reason MySpace is so seedy? Before MySpace, Tom Anderson ran a porn site called TeamAsian.com. The first profiles were of the asian girls he used to photograph and put on his site.

Other rumors have floated around that Tom keeps a second profile to collect Asian girls as friends. (Gee, another white boy in tech who's crazy for Asian girls, who'd have thought?)

Not that there's anything wrong with all this — just that Tom may as well 'fess up. He's already made his millions, what's the worst that could happen?

Larry has recently been looking at girl's engagement rings at meetings, rather than paying attention. Larry is not a jewelry guy, so either he is thinking of buying De Beers, or he could be thinking about getting engaged.

Earlier: Which Google guy got engaged? [Valleywag]
And: Did Sergey Brin get engaged? [Valleywag]

Lucy Southworth is my TA for a class I am taking at Stanford. I have looked in class and there is no hint of a ring (believe me I have checked). Must be Sergey and Anne...

Unless, of course, it's just a silly rumor. But that's what we're all about.

Earlier: Which Google guy got engaged? [Valleywag]

Did Bachelor #1, Larry Page, pop the question to Stanford sweetheart Lucy Southworth?

Did Bachelor #2, Sergey Brin, hook up with girlfriend Anne Wojcicki?

Who knows? Well, a few of you, actually. Get an anonymous e-mail account and tip off tips@valleywag.com.

M4W
¬ San Jose software engineer seeks ticklish Asian beauty (especially ticklish on the feet, please).
¬ Startup co-founder in Saratoga looking for a loving soulmate. Kinda wordy, but if you've ever gone to a "Oh, just one more thing!" demo session, that shouldn't surprise you.
¬ "I don't make sex; I make love," says a San Francisco software engineer. And he's willing to start with the phone or e-mail. So go get some...um..."phone love."

W4M
¬ Will a big tall engineer whisk away this blonde, blue-eyed Scandanavian? Watch out, you'll probably have to fight half the Google team to win her heart.
¬ A "proud participant in the Web 2.0" is "up for some company — hiking, cooking, or staying up all night integrating peer-to-peer solutions across the enterprise (or something).
¬ "Jewish woman looking for her bashert" seeks, first of all, someone who knows what a bashert is (Gentiles: it's a soulmate. It's not you), with a college degree, who's "a good person." Yep, she's in a high-tech startup, but she's not an engineer.

W4W
¬ Way down in Campbell is a "sexy Indian girl," "bit of a nerd but very sexually outgoing," seeking a sexy Chinese girl. Married? No worries, so's she.

Word of the day [Dictionary.com]