One almost certain possibility: accounts for businesses, with tools to track who's saying what about one's employer. But with companies like Comcast and JetBlue already using the service for free, it's hard to see where the value lies. And given Twitter's simplicity, it's hard to see how advanced analytics are needed versus, say, just using the site's search engine.

Online publishers and ad agencies like Glam Media, Mashable, and Federated Media are making money by repackaging "tweets," or Twitter messages, and slapping advertising around them. Federated is voluntarily paying Twitter a cut from its Microsoft-sponsored ExecTweets site, but Glam and Mashable are just taking advertisers' money.

So what's Twitter doing about it? Watching, according to the Journal:

Fred Wilson, a Twitter investor and board member who is a partner at Union Square Ventures, says Twitter will make money by "following the money," or building on the ways that others are developing businesses based on the service.

In other words, as soon as someone figures out a good way to make money on Twitter, Twitter will kneecap them and steal their idea. Finally, a glimmer of business sense at the whimsical startup!

In a bankruptcy, holders of Tesla's debt will have priority over all holders of common and preferred stock in the company — including the Valley celebrities like Google cofounders Larry Page and Sergey Brin and eBay billionaire Jeff Skoll who have invested in Tesla. Raising this round of debt, followed by a bankruptcy filing, could be Musk's way of squeezing out other shareholders — especially cofounders Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning. Employee with unexercised stock options will get wiped out in such a scenario.

Current shareholders will have a right to invest in this debt round according to their current share — but Musk may well be counting on the short 30-day offering period and tight financial markets to shut out anyone who doesn't have the cash handy.

Why do I think this is a likely scenario? Because Musk has done something similar before.

When Musk briefly served as PayPal's CEO, he'd run the company's bank account to six weeks' worth of cash. PayPal insiders say Musk was pulling "financial machinations" to maintain his control of the company — but the board fired him instead and replaced him with cofounder Peter Thiel, who steered the company to its $1.5 billion purchase by eBay.

Unfortunately for Tesla, there's no obvious white knight like Thiel on the horizon.

For example, last week a 25-year-old Pennsylvanian filed a lawsuit against Google because his social security number spells a scrambled version of "Google" when turned upside down, and consequently his safety is in jeopardy. He's asking for $5 billion in damages. His handwritten complaint also states quite clearly that not only is his right to privacy being violated, but that "Plaintiff and defendant(s) have a responsibility to fight the War on Terrorism."

Or here's another example: sue Google and Yahoo for stealing their names from your grandparents, who hailed from the Gogo and Yao tribes of Tanzania, like someone in Texas did last week.

See? It's easy. Here are some more ideas to help get you started:

• I thought Google was a palindrome but it turns out it isn't (this one smells like class-action).
• Google's ads are not always for products or services I am interested in.
• Google is a euphemism for my genitalia, and therefore has caused me millions of dollars worth of humiliation.
• Google gave me diabetes.