• Club Kiss: Held in a decadent, arty Mission playspace by a very experienced team of hosts. Yes: lush electronic beats, condoms aplenty. No: single guys, sorry. Here's where you're most likely to overhear startup gossip in the backroom, or spy a name-brand fetish model on the stripper pole. All guests must be prescreened via email before getting an official invite. Next party is this Saturday, Februrary 23.
• Tangerine's Dream: Swinger events every weekend in San Jose. This Friday, February 22 is their Quarterly Coalition Party. Don't let the stuffy name fool you — it's one of their biggest bashes all year. The estate offers a pretty view of the Valley. Single men allowed with approval, but all prospective guests have to become members before attending. TD runs a more exclusive party for couples and single women on Saturday.
• Interracial Kink: Throws parties in the East Bay geared towards group sex. This Friday is Down and Dirty, and Saturday is a Sexy Lingerie Play Party themed. Call ahead to reserve an invitation and get some light screening. All-night fucking and sucking are promised, but I've never been myself. Their low-tech gangbang matchmaking service sent me to my Back button.

Most sex parties are geared towards couples — no dateless guys allowed — but we've already told you how to find a date who'll be discreet about the deal. Expect to spend about $60 per couple to cover valet parking and other incidentals. Leave your phone with its videocamera in your checked coat. You'll have to make some vivid memories instead.

(Photo from Club Kiss (c) Photos by Wilkinson)

Here's how it happens: This guy has made a decent living in the music tech biz, and he and his handpicked-for-hotness friends rotate the party among a set of over-the-top houses. A complimentary driver with a discreet party van ferries 200 of us to a house just past the Golden Gate. It's swanky, with a coat check and a champagne bar. It's legal, too. No tickets required, but door donations are the norm.

I recognize a coder from the gaming industry I met at a party a few months before. That event was mostly attended by the Burning Man crowd. The women here are pure L.A.: trophy wives who do a lot of Pilates, aspiring massage therapists, a couple of supertanned strippers who retired at age 24. A few are doing lines of coke in the powder room. Many more are outside, hooking up in a hot tub built into the swimming pool.

Inside, most of the action is in a harem room: soft carpets and pillows, low light, and a welcoming atmosphere. Nearly everyone is here as part of a couple, which means lots of threesomes and foursomes. Only one thing shocks me: so many people here already know one another that condoms are very optional.

Parties like this are invite-only. To get in, you have to know someone who knows someone. I found my way in by getting to know a few semi-public sex party regulars and demonstrating why I'm a good girl to invite back. Semi-public sex parties? Those are everywhere. But that's another post.

(Photo by susanica)