<![CDATA[Gawker: valleywag, the internet]]> http://tags.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/gawker.com.png <![CDATA[Gawker: valleywag, the internet]]> http://gawker.com/tag/valleywag/theinternet http://gawker.com/tag/valleywag/theinternet <![CDATA[The Internet's Candidate for California Governor Wars with the Internet]]> Meg Whitman would like to be governor of California, but the former eBay CEO should demonstrate she can govern her own website first: The commenters on MegWhitman.com are in open revolt. It's brutal.

The campaign site only shows the most recent 30 comments. But even from this very limited sampling, a common theme emerges: Whitman isn't paying any attention, despite her promise that "you will hear directly from me" on her "California forum." She's neither answering, nor even censoring, her critics. Chaos!



It's a good thing Whitman has never run a major website with a large and vocal community before, or this might reflect poorly on her management skills.

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<![CDATA[Keeping the NYTimes.com Pumped Up]]> Perhaps it's time to stop using the word "anemic" in reference to the New York Times' internet efforts; judging from these pictures, Times Company Chief Information Officer Joseph Seibert seems determined to project an image of strength.

The shots were taken for the 2008 New Jersey State Bodybuilding, Figure & Fitness Championships, and match up with the picture of Seibert featured on the New York Times Co. website. Seibert's figure was presumably something of an asset at his last job in the fashion world, where he worked as COO for design Mark Ecko's company.

The muscle shots certainly show Seibert to be an executive of unique focus and determination. That said, he might want to read his newspaper's recent story on steroids and weightlifting and weightlifting. Not that we're saying this gentleman is juicing. But he should at least be aware of what sorts of practices to avoid!



(Pics via MuscularDevelopment.com)

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<![CDATA[Tiger Woods Sex-Spank Animator Is Free-Speech Hero for the 21st Century]]> Today's governments are inventing tons of new ways to repress free speech. But there's a hero standing up for civic-minded journalism: The company that digitally re-enacts Tiger Woods spanking a porn star.

Perhaps you've heard of Apple Daily, the Taiwanese newspaper that makes computer-generated cartoons corresponding to real-life events, like a man attacking his girlfriend with a knife, or the controversial, creepy and mesmerizing Tiger Woods video excerpted above. These digital shorts have Apple Daily's parent company, Next Media, in hot water with the authorities; the Taiwanese government is blocking Next from launching new ventures, says the New York Times.

Which is an outrage, right? Unless you want to live in a world where the government just gets to decide who can make a speculative video of Tiger Woods picking out lingerie for his girlfriends, and who can't. Fascism lies at the end of a slippery slope, mind you.

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<![CDATA[Where Did the Web Touch You?]]> Online artist Casetteboy created this funny/brilliant mashup of experts explaining "the Web." In short, the global computer network is an anti-social creep that "nailed some feces to the door," according actor Stephen Fry, Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales and other digerati.

Our favorite fake answer is tech investor Peter Thiel's theory that the interent is a harmless network of FAX machines. Always running PR for our future robot overlords, that one.

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<![CDATA[AOL's Big Plan: Robot Traffic Whoring]]> The internet needs more hot search keyword-driven advertorial "content" about as much as the internet needs AOL. So, welcome to the "linchpin" of AOL's growth strategy: Hot search keyword-driven advertorial "content" crap!

AOL's dynamic vision of the future: Flood the web with content designed to pop up high in Google search results, with editorial ideas generated by an algorithm based on what stupid people are looking for, on the internet. In our business we call this "stealing post ideas from Google Trends." Getcher Tiger Woods Mistress Pictures here! Tell us, WSJ, how will AOL improve the life of me, an average Park Slope Parent?

AOL says its new system determined that the most popular topic on the Web last Tuesday was "crib recalls," following news of a massive recall by Stork Craft Manufacturing of Canada. AOL had only one story on its sites on the recall. But, if the new system had been live, editors would have geared up to supply stories on the subject from a number of angles, the company says.

So not only is AOL basing its entire dismal future on the most base sort of styrofoam traffic-whoring; it's not even whoring in a new way. Demand Media, for one, has long been doing the exact same thing, with an algorithm-plus-sweatshop editorial production line that makes Gawker Media look like Aristotle's School of Taking Your Sweet Time Thinking About Things.

Ah well. Neither useless crap on the internet nor AOL sucking is anything new.

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<![CDATA[A Glimpse of Google without News Corp.: No Big Loss]]> The media world is in a (relative) uproar over what the implications of News Corp. pulling its content off Google would be. But! A three-part Gawker investigation-type thing indicates the impact might be quite minimal for you, the consumer. Observe:

The most popular story on WSJ.com today has been their semi-exclusive about Joe Lieberman saying he's never going to vote for a health care bill with the public option. If you heard about Lieberman making news on health care today and went to Google "lieberman public option," you'd get these results. The shaded red boxes are the News Corp. properties: WSJ.com and Foxnews.com. Those would disappear, but there would be no shortage of results showing you what Lieberman told the WSJ in the top results.

But let's say you were really motivated to find the specific Wall Street Journal story about Joe Lieberman derailing health care and you searched "lieberman public option" and "wall street journal." That would currently bring up the story in question, as well as the Fox News result and an old WSJ blog post. But it would also bring up plenty of other sites that can tell you what was in the WSJ story. Those all likely will also provide a link to the WSJ story, but if they put up the pay wall Murdoch has promised, why would you bother to click through?

Lastly, here's a search for "lieberman public option" and "wall street journal," but with results from WSJ.com and FoxNews.com filtered out—in other words, what Google would return if they weren't allowed to index News Corp. pages.

All but the top two results — irrelevant HuffPo stories — show you exactly what Lieberman said in the Wall Street Journal. And would conceivably show you a link to the WSJ. So, no big loss.

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<![CDATA[The Coming Search Engine Media Wars]]> News Corp, ever the online contrarian, is considering pulling all of its news content off of Google and doing an exclusive deal with Microsoft's Bing. For this, Rupert Murdoch would receive a pittance. Welcome to the future of paid media.

For years, newspapers and other media companies have complained about Google reaping profits by indexing media content for free. Google has responded that media companies are free to remove themselves from Google's search engines if they wish. But media companies never actually did it, because the hit to their traffic would be too big. They'd prefer to just get paid by the search engines. Which is what Rupert Murdoch may now do.

Business Insider estimates that the Wall Street Journal, News Corp's most prized media property, would lose about $15 million by pulling out of Google—meaning that Bing could theoretically secure exclusive search engine rights for that price. The money is almost too small to matter. But this could be a trigger for much bigger things. Namely, the Great Search Engine Wars for media content.

Brian Lam argues that this move would hurt consumers. Instead of being able to go to Google to find everything, consumers would have to know which specific media outlets had exclusive deals with which search engines in order to track down their content.

And that's absolutely true! This trend, if it becomes widespread—every big media company hunting for the richest deal it can get from a search engine—would make life more inconvenient for media consumers like you and me. Which doesn't mean that it's necessarily bad. The fact is that the current situation cannot stand. Have you read our #layoffs tag lately? Rupert Murdoch—and other media owners—are tired of Google making money off their content, for free. The original idea was that the traffic driven to media sites by Google would provide enough revenue, through ads, to make everyone happy. That hasn't turned out to be the case. Online ad revenue is not doing the trick.

So media companies will need new revenue streams to survive. A big one will be paid content; i.e., if you want to read the New York Times online, you will have to pay some sort of subscription fee. But search engine deals like this—in which media companies make search engines pay for exclusive rights to access their content—are another online revenue stream that could become significant. News Corp's deal isn't big money, yet. But presumably if Google and its competitors realize they will have to engage in bidding wars to lock in rights to good media content, the value of those deals would increase considerably.

The bigger picture is this: Yes, the "journalism" industry will shrink. That's part of the future. Fine. But even with the wondrous world of blogs and nonprofit journalism foundations and every other new permutation of creating content, the fact remains that if people want to enjoy a fundamental baseline of serious news media in this country, they will have to pay for it, somehow. Yes, it's more inconvenient to have search engines with exclusive content deals. It's also inconvenient to have to pay to read online news. But these and other new revenue streams will have to come into place if we don't want to keep griping forever about journalists being laid off and news quality getting shittier. Everything cannot always be free and delivered directly to us on a platter when it costs money to make, okay! So try not to fear the portentous coming of the Search Engine Bidding Wars. We're just going through the bumpy phase of things now. You'll get used to it. And the annoying kid you sent to J-school might actually be able to land a job one day, too.

[My colleagues do not necessarily agree with me!]

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<![CDATA[Surf The Internet the Mostly Lower Case Way]]> Stop everything, The Internet: AOL is now Aol. Whether superimposed on a fish or a hand or just some swirly crap, this logo makes the bold statement: We can no longer afford capital letters. [Ad Age]

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<![CDATA[Wikipedia Gridlocked by Wikipedia Nerds]]> Wikipedia was probably pretty cool a few years back when you could just get a wild hair and immediately post up an article on The Artifacts, or whatever. But now it's run by a dead-ender Debbie Downer "deletionist" nerd army.

The WSJ reports that the number of Wikipedia editors (real editors—not you) declined by nearly 50,000 in the first three months of this year alone. The trend is attributed to the fact that whereas in the past you used to be able to just hop in and edit shit, now you have to have your work "approved" by some superlayer of supereditors, many of whom take joy in shooting down the Wikipedia aspirations of the unapproved masses. Horror stories abound. So who are these Gatekeepers to all the internet's knowledge?

A survey the foundation conducted last year determined that the average age of an editor is 26.8 years, and that 87% of them are men.

As you suspected: nerds.

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<![CDATA[Everything Bad About the Web Was Once Said About Television]]> This 1945 pamphlet on the "Future of Television" is awesome. But who would have thought we'd be having the same tired discussion 65 years later? The table of contents is a template for every contemporary new media debate:

  • The new medium could rot people's brains and erode cultural standards: "What you'll be seeing: [Ventriloquist dummy] Charlie McCarthy or the [intellectual radio broadcast] Chicago Roundtable?"
  • The government is making huge new media decisions with far-reaching implications for the future: "Battle in the spectrum... Uncle Sam Looks at Television."
  • The new medium will impact this old medium: Title: "Movies and Television" Article: "Film companies are watching television development with a careful eye."
  • The elite first adopters will be overrun by the masses: Title: "Is Television Ready for the Public?" Article "Before the war about 7,000 television sets had been sold... the purcahses were all in or near a handful of cities. among them New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Schenectady, and Los Angeles" Those big-city bastards of Schenectady were liberal elitists even back in the day!
  • The new medium will usher in a new crop of media lords: "Who Are the Leaders in the Fight?"
  • The new medium means fun new gadgets (which could get us loads of advertising): Title: "What Kind of Television? War improvements cut costs / Look before you buy / Network possibilities / Buy wisely / Color television"



    Article (emphasis added): "Before you start looking for a receiver, check up on the television station in your area and find out whether its programs interest you...Don't let the salesman double talk you into buying one before it is demonstrated in your home. Who knows, you may be living in a "dead spot" where it is not possible to pick up television pictures. [AT&T has apparently been in the wireless business a long time.]

Somehow we still have movie theaters, radio, books and newspapers decades later. And every one of those sectors is still fabulously profitable and growing. (*Cough*)

[via Brendan Koerner]

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<![CDATA[The Great Newspaper Firewall Is Coming. And?]]> Newsday is going to start charging for its awful website. One columnist there quit over it. The New York Times says it will make a decision on charging for its (good) website "within weeks." Then what happens?

NYT editor Bill Keller told Clark Hoyt that the paper is "within weeks of a decision" on the long-discussed question of whether, and how, to charge for its online news.

So here is what their decision will be: You will have to pay for their online news. One way or another! Maybe you will pay a $5 per month subscription fee, or maybe you will pay micropayments for every story, or maybe they will roll out tiered membership packages with fancy extras designed to get hardcore fans to pay more in exchange for more access. Probably a certain level of news will be free, and a better level of news will not be free. Or maybe someone there has actually come up with an elegant solution to this mess! Though we doubt it.

But somehow we will all have to pay something, because if we don't, the New York Times is totally going to go broke, bit by bit, by giving its product away for free. Which is something that it and every other newspaper have now come to realize. A more interesting question: Will any of the NYT's star columnists flee the paper if they're shoved behind a pay wall, like Newsday's Saul Friedman just did?

They might! These same NYT columnists sat through the Times Select fiasco and watched their readership drop precipitously. Things are different now though! Because somebody like, say, Thomas Friedman, or David Pogue, or Maureen Dowd, could legitimately decide that their own BRAND would gain more by going off on their own than by sitting behind a paywall at the NYT. Thanks for the help with everything, Times, but we're off to be A Brand Called Me-s! Fewer readers could hurt their speaking fees. Can't have that.

This result would bring in some much-needed fresh blood and get rid of Thomas Fucking Friedman, so let's all pray it goes down exactly like that. We have our (employer's) credit card ready, Bill Keller.

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<![CDATA[Naked Self Promotion: How Hilary Rowland Saves Africa]]> Hilary Rowland is more than a model, starfucker and internet entrepreneur; she says she cares about Africans too. And we believe her, if only because her charitable endeavors give Rowland the chance to promote herself half-naked, as is her wont.

Rowland apparently started something called Project Migration this past summer. The organization sells products "made by single mothers in Africa;" proceeds ostensibly help improve their water supply and health care. And, what do you know, this effort just happens to require a professional photo shoot starring one Hilary Rowland (see attached video), which the sometime model just happened promote to her public Facebook wall:

(We're not sure what the reference to Rowland being "haunted by" porn purveyor Vivid Entertinament is about, though that comment makes us especially curious about her past.)

This isn't Rowland's first brush with chairty; though she is best known for posting pictures of herself with various celebrities on Facebook, and for being the rumored girlfriend of celebrity actors like Adrian Gernier and James Woods, she's long participated in various charity events, emphasis on "events" (one "Mexico Summit" observer: "they handed shoes out to little brown kids...in between cocktails"). Her day job consists of repurposing Glamour and MSN articles for her fake fashion magazine, "Hilary." Perhaps an article about Project Migration is in order. Don't forget the photos!

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<![CDATA[Huge PR Firm Has Bunch of Kids Digital PR Strategists]]> Here is just the latest example of how a large PR agency can be a huge, huge, huge, hustle, staffed by hustlers, who will charge you too much money to do dumb, simple things, on the internet. Edelman!

"Younger employees help senior executives unlock social media mystery," declares a Chicago Tribune headline [via PRNewser]. What is this amazing mystery that has been unlocked? For Edelman—the world's largest independent PR firm, and one that loves to market itself as a "digital" expert that will help you, the corporation, navigate the wilds of the internet for a large, large fee—the mystery is, "How can we get people to pay us so much for this shit?"

"I am so all over this Delish thing," Cabot bubbled, punching up delish.com on her computer in her office at Edelman, a Chicago-based public relations firm.

"Oh, you're doing so well!" Spohn said delightedly, counting the recipes Cabot had collected on the food lovers' Web site. "Look, you've got so much!"

Her pride was as evident as the exchange was notable. Though Cabot, 56, is Edelman's central region president with more than 30 years in the business, she is the student. Spohn, a 23-year-old account executive on the firm's digital team, is the teacher.

Hahaha. Do you see what is going on here? Edelman, like many of its peers, is a PR firm that will charge your company a hefty fee for all the digital insight that its 23-year-old account executives can deliver. Because the people in charge aren't really so good on this "internet" thing. Which would be fine if they were not the same people in charge of convincing you, the client, to spend tens (or hundreds!) of thousands of dollars with Edelman for their expert strategic online influencing services. Their mentoring program for the olds is called "Rotnem" because that's "mentor" backwards and you must be a backwards-ass fool to pay money to a bunch of 23-year-olds to teach you how to make a Facebook page and shit at an Edelman markup, when you could get them off Craigslist for much, much cheaper.

"Edelman strongly advocates that companies participate with and engage online influencers." Did you know that Edelman, a massive corporate PR firm, started a blog called "Authenticities"? Edelman, how much do people pay you for your services? Because I am totally going to undercut your prices by one dollar, once the last media outlet finally stops paying employees. Please engage.

[Pic of Edelman's Global Head of Digital Strategy via Flickr]

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<![CDATA[A World without the Internet]]> Cracked.com has imagined a terrifying post-internet hellscape: Twitter via carrier pigeon, LOLcats on Broadway and the resurgence of porn shops. OK, so it's not all bad. Via Anna Jane Grossman.

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<![CDATA[Can an Online Fan Base Save the New York Times? No.]]> After the New York Times announced that it's cutting 100 more newsroom jobs, guess what happened, virally? Many commenters begged to be allowed to pay for the paper's online content! Is this the NYT's salvation? Ha, no.

By Mediaite's tally, 32% of the more than 500 commenters on the story said they'd pay to read the NYT online. Let's call that one-third!

Now let's make some generous assumptions. Quantcast estimates that NYtimes.com gets about 15 million monthly US readers. (We asked the company how many comments they get; they haven't gotten back to us yet). Their weekday circulation is around 650k. So the question becomes: How many of those online users who currently pay nothing would pay, say, $5 per month (a number the NYT was floating in a survey earlier this year) to read the website?

Since one-third of the commenters on a story about the paper's staffing issues said they would, does that mean one-third of the total would? We are currently laughing derisively at that assertion! These commenters are people who not only are interested enough in the inner workings of the paper to read a story about its staffing issues—already a small minority—but also interested enough to comment on the story, which takes a certain level of commitment at the NYT's website. So we have a small subset of a small subset of the paper's online readers; namely, those readers most interested in the financial fate of the NYT. Of those, one-third say they're willing to pay.

Let's very generously say a quarter of online readers fall into the first subset, and a quarter of those fall into the second subset. Therefore, the number of online readers willing to pay would be 1/4 times 1/4 times 1/3 times 15 million, or 312,500 readers. If they all paid $5 per month, the NYT would make an extra $18.75 million per year. Which is nice and all, but would not even cover the interest payments on their subprime Mexican loan.

The NYT may in fact get more online readers worldwide, but then again, our assumptions here were already overly generous. In other words, the company's salvation will not be found in the comments section.

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<![CDATA[Meghan McCain Swears She'll Quit Twitter If You Can't Deal With Her Boobs]]> Meghan McCain says she plans to "get the fuck off Twitter" since so many users of the microblogging service are hating on a maverick picture she posted of her maverick cleavage. Oh, please. She's a fameball. She's going nowhere.

McCain last night tweeted about how she was spending her evening eating takeout and reading an Andy Warhol biography. To accompany this radical take on an evening in, McCain uploaded a picture of her in her usual home alone outfit of sweat pants and a tank top. And apparently this set of shitstorm of conservative condemnation — apparently young women should not be encouraged by their role model Meghan McCain to expose any part of their breasts, ever — and fat jokes.

So then McCain says she's quitting this awful Twitter place forever, except maybe not really, because she wanted to "sleep on it" and probably woke up this morning realizing she now has the moral high ground again and fodder for a whole slew of new outraged Daily Beast columns:

There's another thing Meghan McCain has that she didn't have "about 16 hours ago," which will keep her on Twitter forever: lots and lots of fresh new attention. For her perky and hugely well articulated political positions, of course. Both of them.

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<![CDATA[Oliver Stone Hates the Internet, Likes the Internet's Money]]> Terra Networks paid Oliver Stone an estimated $75,000 to speak in Manhattan last night. The Spanish internet company probably did not expect the director to call internet users philistines and internet video "jerking off in front of a camera."

Then again, they knew who they were hiring: A man who, as Gaunabee's Cindy Casares notes, has never been one to subsume his own professional impulses, masturbatory or not, to those of his colleagues. Gaunabee recorded copious footage from the event, some of which is excerpted above.

Although repeated in a number of colorful permutations, Stone's point was fairly straightforward: most consumers are tasteless boors; the internet allows these morons to upload video; therefore internet video is shit and will never be "Fine Art." That an overwhelming number of these vulgarians failed to go and see Stone's last movie, making it a surprise box office failure despite such memorable lines as "don't get cute Turdblossom," only further establishes Stone's credibility as an arbiter of good taste and Fine Art.

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<![CDATA[Newspaper Lady to Explain Internet, In Book]]> This "The Internet" thing is nice, but we often think: What it really needs is a self-proclaimed arbiter of its cultural relevance to undertake the preposterously impossible ambitious task of explaining the entire internet. In a book. Hello, Virginia Heffernan!

One of the internet's most important legacies is its absolute destruction of credentialism. So who better to explain it to the world than New York Times TV-watcher-and-internet-looker-and-writer-about Virginia Heffernan, the one person that every American too old to figure out how to get onto the internet turns to to tell them about said internet, in a magazine column? And tell us, Leon Neyfakh, could the book have a name and theme commensurate to the preposterousness of its ambition?

In the proposal [for the book, tentatively titled The Pleasures of the Internet: How to Live in the New Online Civilization], a copy of which was obtained by the Transom, Ms. Heffernan's book is described as "a complete aesthetics of the Internet" that will treat the Web as a complex work of representational art, complete with "a poetics, a scale, a palette, a rhythm, a sensibility, a set of rituals and spectacles, a system of metaphors and an emotional range."

Haha yes. Very good. A good book to give to, say, your grandmother who retired as a college literature professor a long, long time ago. Explaining the entire internet in a book: Actually a very internetty type of thing to do!
[NYO]

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<![CDATA[Fancy Magazine Awards Open to Riff-Raff]]> Even as the magazine industry has crumbled in the Great Magazine Die-Off, publishers have always been able to assure themselves: "At least we're the only ones who can win National Magazine Awards." ¡No mas! Now, even we're eligible.

The NYT reports that ASME is "adding 12 new categories [to the Magazine Awards] covering online media." But! Rather than present these awards at the already-interminable fancy magazine awards ceremony in May, they "will be handed out at a lunch during a March online magazine conference." At lunch!

In fact, that real magazine awards used to be a modest affair like that, before they started taking that "The Oscars of the Magazine Industry" thing too seriously and inviting random wack people like Jimmy Fallon to present awards (suck it, Jimmy Fallon). Now, the Ellies get to siphon the nerdy, unglamorous online media reporters such as ourselves off into a preliminary affair, saving the real awards ceremony for the Beautiful People. It's genius, really. But what do these categories even mean?

"The Huffington Post, if it defines itself as a magazine, we would accept the entry. If it defines itself as a newspaper, then of course it should enter the Pulitzers," he said.

Haha! But what if it defines itself as the most specialest Magazinemediainternet Thingamajig in the whole wide world? Will there be a special category for that? And what are we supposed to enter? I assume there will be several categories dedicated to fameball coverage? And make sure there's something for Julia Allison!

We're not really winning any awards. But we are going and eating a free lunch, so SCORE. The internet continues to suck the magazine industry dry, one way or another.

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<![CDATA[Seeking Swedish Lesbians, Chinese Men Bring Internet To Its Knees]]> Chinese men are very, very interested in finding out more about a mythical secret of town Swedish lesbian lumberjacks have reportedly "crippled" the nation's data networks with a flood of search requests. And they're inundating the poor Swedes, as well.

The official Chinese news agency Xinhua dubiously reported the existence of a Swedish town called Chako Paul City, a town of 25,000 forbidden to men and guarded by two blonde female sentries who will beat your male ass "half to death" if you try entering. But the report raised as many questions as it answered; for example, it implies visiting men would be left half alive after their ladybeatings, and perhaps might be permitted to penetrate the town's gates and receive gentle care in one of the town's many hotels and restaurants, for "receiving women from around the world."

Chinese men have "swamped... Swedish tourism bodies" (ahem) with such burning questions in recent days, according to the Australian, and millions of them are "crippling the country's internet providers" frantically searching for more details. Yet not one kind, enterprising Web designer has set up a tourism website on their behalf, complete with a ridiculous quantity of AdSense banners and a members-only "Inside the Bathhouses of Chako Paul City" section. Hop to, internet!

(Pic by adamkaras on Flickr)

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