Boing Boing noticed the warning (and groused that CNN had registered boingboing.tv a couple of years ago). But it turns out that the loudmouthed Parsons (full disclosure: I'm a weekly guest on his GoDaddy Radio show) is not the first to beat this Tuvalu-is-sinking drum. USA Today writer Kevin Maney looked into the issue some years ago: If the Pacific island sinks beneath the waves due to global warming, your .tv domains will still be safe. And knowing Parsons, he'll still be complaining about it.

(Photo by Getty Images)

Sara Nelson (herself a victim of the collapsing book publishing industry) got the scoop for the Wall Street Journal, and judging by her description of the deal, apparently not.

Vaynerchuk doesn't even read books, let alone show any sign of being able to write them. He's a 33-year-old Belarusian immigrant who pals around with members of San Francisco's Web elite like Digg founder Kevin Rose, but hasn't made much of a splash in the New York media world. But he has 145,000 followers on Twitter, a popular videoblog about wine, and a burgeoning career dispensing advice to wantrepreneurs.

Here's a current sampling of the sort of twattle that will fuel his next ten books:

Is there one book in Vaynerchuk, let alone ten? That hardly seems like the point. Recycled 140-character aphorisms from Twitter, pretty pictures of wine, and a built-in audience are what one needs to succeed in the publishing world. Books don't make people famous. Famous people make books.

After giving a short speech to attendees, in which he praised their efforts to break the "feudal" system of network television, Gore promised "By tomorrow, I'll be on Twitter." Then he left. Come on, Al. How hard would it have been to sign up for Twitter on the spot, then stick around for a few minutes to lob an inconvenient truth or two across John McCain's puss during the opening leg of the debate? Instead, here's the message Gore sent: Twitter is for kids. (Video by Laughing Squid/Scott Beale)

1. Facebook stays independent and private, strikes a meaningful deal that legitimizes its business plan, and buys a startup.
2. Born out of the writers' strike, at least one "Funny or Die" style site gets big buzz and maybe even gets bought, but it fails to produce any videos near the quality of FoD or Super Deluxe.
3. Google releases some limited version of voice search beyond GOOG 411. During the year, the company's stock tops $800.
4. Digg sells to a major media company for at least $200 million, and founder Kevin Rose starts a non-web-based company.
5. YouTube announces it's adding HD video, but the feature doesn't arrive until 2009.
6. Gawker Media, publisher of this site, starts a men's site and a Web show.
7. Yahoo suffers major layoffs, leading the press to dub it the next AOL.
8. Yet AOL is spun off and reframes itself. At the end of 2008, the company's future is still uncertain.
9. Apple releases a second-generation iPhone, and at least one New York Times article tries to draw a "middle class/rich" line between those who upgrade and those who stick with the first generation.
10. A new videoblogger emerges as the go-to example for slick independent daily vlogging, following Amanda Congdon and Ze Frank.
11. Tumblr, the pared down blogging service, enjoys the popularity that 2007 brought Twitter.
12. Twitter remains independent and spins off a new service.
13. The Internet again fails to drive one presidential candidate to success. So does Chuck Norris.
14. Jason Calacanis, still running his online directory Mahalo, starts another project.
15. A new meme started in a geeky part of the web infiltrates the "normal" population even more deeply than LOLcats.
16. Yet another e-book reader comes out and no one cares.
17. Blog search engine Technorati collapses after failing to get enough funding to stay afloat.
18. The Wall Street Journal announces it will soon be free online.
19. Blog platform maker Six Apart, having spun off LiveJournal and rearranged its exec staff, gets bought.
20. Dell screws up the good will it won in 2007 with another customer-service or bad-parts scandal.
21. Net Neutrality takes another hit from a telco-friendly Congressional bill.
22. Second Life plods along.
23. The TechCrunch blog network lands a regular TV appearance, if not a show.
24. The country tires of the last round of famous-for-being-famous celebs, and gossip blogger Perez Hilton's TV show gets cancelled.
25. A minor medical incident renews the "can Apple survive without Steve Jobs" argument.

Start

• Superpowers fighting to claim the melting, oil-rich Arctic will want the moon next; we need the rule of law.
• New unsticky "Clean Gum" won't mar sidewalks.
• Satellite photos caught an empty Burma during a communications blackout.
• Faceslam: Facebook snub. Crowd farming: Stadium foot traffic as power plant.
• Forty rocketeers made an X-Wing, but it exploded.
• Chipuya Town is a Japanese mobile MMORPG.
• Matter/antimatter mix powers superlaser.
• Athlete's foot medicine contains no surprises.
• Mr. Know-it-all: Surgical masks do little against Chinese pollution. eBay bidding just for good feedback violates TOS. Shark cartilage doesn't fight cancer.
• Russia's covering Chernobyl with a steel shelter.
• Fire hoses spray mist on ignitable gases.
• Lace running shoes more comfortably: One normal cross, then up to the next eyelet, then cross again.
• Memorize numbers by giving each digit a mnemonic, then think of those mnemonics appearing along a walk around your block.
• Google buys companies that dominate, are first to a space, or could be a threat if Microsoft buys them.
• Self-absorbed geeks = "microcelebrities."
• Preteens are the best competitive texters.
• If The Golden Compass makes bank we'll see two sequels.
• Scotsmen have reinvented ancient Scottish ale.
• Infoporn: Silly Santa math.

Play (highlights)

• Stripper-blogger Diablo Cody wrote the sweet new comedy Juno.
• Comic book Persepolis became a 9-out-of-10 film.
• F4CC motorcycle could go over 200 mph but the tires would melt.

The Angry Mogul

• CD sales fell 10 percent in 2006. The future is digital.
• Universal Music CEO Doug Morris made Yahoo and YouTube pay to run music videos. He made Microsoft pay UMG a dollar per Zune. He's pissed at piracy. But he's letting Amazon sell DRM-free MP3s.
• Why DRM-free? To break Apple's monopoly. iTunes represents 20 percent of all U.S. music sales.
• UMG's digital revenue comes from iTunes and cell companies (ringtones).
• UMG will sell a subscription service (with DRM) called Total Music, urging Microsoft to add it to Zunes.

The Ultrabuilder

• The secret behind future "supertall" buildings is the buttressed core, a Y-shaped floor plan with a strong central support.
• Structural engineer Bill Baker is the go-to man for supertalls.
• Baker designed the butressed core to maximize window access and usable space in skyscrapers like the over-2600-foot Burj Dubai; it makes buildings taller, faster to build, and potentially more profitable.

Ode to Joystick

• Video Games Live directs live orchestra and choir videogame music performances.
• Creator Tommy Tallarico and conductor Jack Wall arrange the score and direct local musicians at symphony halls.
• VGL and competitor Play! are barely profitable, but they bring a new 20s/30s crowd to symphony halls.

Getting a Grip

• Making robots interact with a human environment, even finding and picking up a stapler, is tough.
• Solution: Make them learn. AI, for real this time, honest!
• RoboCub is a humanoid bot being taught to mimic and learn from human motions it sees.

Features
What Went Wrong

• Iraq went wrong because we concentrated on the hardware, not the social landscape.
• Since the '90s, everyone (including Wired) got excited about war in the information age.
• Under Bush, Rumsfeld made an Office of Force Transformation to give the armed forces a $230-billion networked makeover.
• That hasn't helped against our tech-primitive enemies in Iraq.
• Oh, our technology worked great for invasion, but it's rubbish at securing peace. For that, we actually need troops.
• For example, 150 troops are in charge of security for the 50,000-person Iraqi city of Tarmiyah.
• Their leading officer recruits local watchmen to help.
• US forces have sophisticated command centers on a network (CPOF), but the system was designed for "short, decisive battles" against armies, not extended missions against insurgents.
• Many forces can't get online enough to make CPOF useful.
• Meanwhile, insurgents just use the Internet and TV, and they already know the local culture.
• Psyops agent Joe Colabuno wins over informants by knowing the culture, name-dropping sheikhs and debating using the Koran. He makes posters spoofing insurgents to sway public perception.
• General Patraeus still believes in network-centric warfare, but as the man behind the surge, he believes in adequate troops too.
• The co-conceiver of networked warfare says: Combat operations are like football; stability operations are like soccer. The network model needs to adapt.
• The Army is adapting, spending $41 million on "Human Terrain Teams" of "150 social scientists, software geeks, and experts on local culture." They're credited for more local support and less combat in certain areas.
• HTTs will become more integral, but we don't know if they'll be armed or given command authority.

Back to the Futurama

• Five years after Fox canceled it, David Cohen and Matt Groening's Futurama returns on Comedy Central.
• The new shows — four features split into 16 22-minute episodes — are also being released on four DVDs starting November 27.
• Fox shuffled the show during its four seasons, and ratings dropped.
• Added to those four years, reruns and DVD sales earned over $100 million, estimates a writer.
• Creators are David X. Cohen and Matt Groening.
• Groening, Simpsons creator, still draws a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell. He has never seen any Star Trek.
• Cohen is a Trekkie, invented "Worst. Episode. Ever," and loves sci-fi.
• Futurama is about pandering to the elite audience. Cohen checks the web to see fans discover hidden jokes; then he makes the jokes harder.

Your DNA Decoded

• A thousand-dollar test tells you what diseases your genes predispose you to, as well as other factors.
• In the future, we'll use genetic information to plan our lives, and we could live an extra ten years.
• 23andMe, founded by Anne Wojcicki, wife of Google cofounder Sergey Brin, will give people their genetic info and build a database for research. Google invested $3.9 million.
• FedEx 23andMe a ten-minute wad of spit, and view your results online in under a month.
• There's still much to learn about which combinations of genes cause what conditions.
• It cost the Human Genome Project $3 billion to map an entire genome in 2003; it's about $250,000 now.
• Disease isn't solved yet; half of heart disease cases aren't explained by known risk factors.

Chat: Rich Barton, Zillow

• The housing crunch makes Zillow's algorithmic house appraisal more useful.
• Selling houses is no longer binary: homeowners can name a "make me move" price.

The Bone Factory

• Many medical skeletons are illegally shipped overseas. India has long been the biggest exporter.
• The country banned exporting human remains in 1985, but the black market thrives.
• India banned exports after a bone trader with 1500 child skeletons was suspected of kidnapping and killing the children.
• Skeletons are vital for medical schools.
• Example process: Corpses are taken from funeral pyres or graves, anchored in a river where they're eaten to mush and bone, scrubbed, sunbleached, and sanitized.

The Secrets of Silicon Valley

• "Ted," founder of TheFunded.com (where startuppers rate venture capital firms), is Adeo Ressi.
• Ressi, a self-promoter, made millions with 90s dot-coms, then started an online gaming platform Game Trust, which was taken over by investors.
• Ressi started TheFunded in response, getting friends like Weblogs Inc. founder Jason Calacanis to tell stories.
• When firms started invading TheFunded, Ressi banned shills to keep ratings real.
• Angel investments are surpassing VC money; hedge funds offer a low-maintenance alternative. VCs have to emphasize "customer service."

Nick Douglas writes at Valleywag, Too Much Nick, and Look Shiny. He would, in fact, read that magazine if you paid him to.

Wait, you're gonna run another damn talking-head tech show? Give up now. Or try one of my show ideas (which, seriously, I will later kill myself for not charging you to use).

• Animal Land: The world needs a new Steve Irwin. Until it finds one, you'll do. You don't need crocs (hell, you don't want crocs); just stick your throat down a Doberman's fist. Yes, you read that right. You gotta do it up hardcore on AnimalLand.TV. Bonus: That domain is still available. Get it before Fox does.
• You Got Drunk'd: Hit the streets on a Saturday night and tape the kids stumbling out of clubs. Make them do stunts for dollar bills. It's Joe Francis meets Ashton Kutcher. It ain't classy, but it pays.
• Light Shit On Fire: Holy hell, watch this flameout. If you just try to replicate that, you'll make a hundred good episodes in the process.

  Note the beer at the end. That's your pre-production tool. Consider "Light Shit On Fire" the rural equivalent of "You Got Drunk'd."

• Urban spelunking: Find some local "urban explorers" and crack into some abandoned buildings with them. If you're careful and you don't get caught, you'll get major attention from high-profile blogs like Boing Boing, and you might discover pirate gold historical satisfaction.
• Machinima Classics: Not so good at original programming? Reproduce a classic Seinfeld episode in World of Warcraft. Do Arrested Development using Second Life. People will go nuts.

This is an installation of Diggbait, a daily column by Nick Douglas, who also writes for Eat the Press. He likes robots, words, and hospitalized kids (but was only kidding about putting them there).

So Yahoo Hack Day '06 was held this weekend and I'm looking at the TechCrunch post about the winning team and the Asian girl looked super familar! Turns out she's a Project Runway season 2 reject.

She was the annoying Asian young nerdy designer that got really drunk on one episode and turned red.

All-women team takes Yahoo Hack Day prize [TechCrunch]

— Gottfried the Intern

In a splattering blow to the satellite biz, Rupert Murdoch supposedly dubbed DirecTV a "turd bird" and is considering selling News Corp.'s controlling stake to Liberty Media.

Quoting Rupe saying "turd bird": bathroom humor.
Quoting Rupe saying "turd bird" right after using the words "splattering blow": masterful imagery.

Rupe looks to release bird [Variety]

Contact info is below, and ABC's offering a $5k finder's fee. So nominate a nerd — or, better yet, a tech executive or startupper who only pretends to be a nerd while in the Valley — for yet another embarrassing TV season. The geek factor will make this the most TiVo'd reality show since Yahoo's "Dude, we punk'd you to the Chinese government!"

From: Elizabeth Michiels < redacted >
Date: Sep 7, 2006 4:05 PM
Subject: [stanford-network] Casting call for ABC's the next Bachelor or Bachelorette!
To: Stanford-Network < redacted >

come on stanford folks!

——-Original Message——-

THE SEARCH IS ON FOR THE NEXT BACHELOR OR BACHELORETTE!

ABC s popular series "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are searching for America's most eligible man and woman, as Telepictures and Next Entertainment head into the 13th season of the popular reality romance show.
The producers are looking for men and women who are ambitious, charming and successful and who are looking to settle down. It's a tall order to fill, so if you or someone you know is an accomplished CEO, doctor, lawyer, entrepreneur or businessman or woman and wants to find love, contact us NOW!

WE ARE OFFERING A $5000.00 FINDERS FEE

To apply:

Email Erin Tomasello at erin@kasstinginc.com or Call 323.297.7102

Hosted by Chris Harrison, "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are produced by Next Entertainment in association with Telepictures Productions.
Mike Fleiss and Lisa Levenson are the show's executive producers.
*********************************************
The Stanford-Network (formerly SOLAR-NETWORK) mailing list is hosted by the Stanford Alumni Association. If you wish to unsubscribe from this mailing list, visit http://www.stanfordalumni.org/lists/network. If you need additional assistance, e-mail Stanford Online Customer Service at [redacted].

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Old Media is Old Media again, just, you know, on the Internet. And after all that pay-per-view and viral-preview drivel, doesn't it feel...relaxing?

CBS to air primetime shows online [Reuters]

Let's bring TV to Yahoo" might not get laid off after all. Yahoo Media Group head Lloyd Braun must be cheering over the new Pepsi-branded show hosted by Yahoo, "The 9." This daily show features a pretty woman discussing popular news items from around the Internet. (This, of course, has never been done.)

Good news for Braun, whose job seemed in danger when Yahoo announced it would avoid original video productions. Yahoo must have considered this outside-sponsored show a worthy exception, so the Media Group slipped this show onto the site and got its first episode featured on the front page (pictured).

The only question is who deserves the credit for this coup. Is it Braun, or is it his recent hire Vince Broady? When Broady joined Yahoo to lead several Media Group departments, those in the know said he "runs circles around Lloyd."

The 9 [Yahoo]
Earlier: Why Vince Broady might steal Yahoo Media Group [Valleywag]

So when ABC goes and launches a global Internet game, wouldn't Lloyd lock that down for Yahoo? Somehow, neither he nor his company are mentioned in ABC's own news story.

What, again, is Lloyd actually doing at Yahoo?

'Lost' Game Lets Fans Hunt for Clues [ABC News]

Other highlights:

Bob comments on the amenities of the Googleplex. "You never have to go home when you've got all this." Larry flexes his eyebrows as if to say "I don't have to go home for sex, Bob."

Bob asks, "What do you want to do with all this money?" Sergey goes off on how he won't live the high life; Larry licks his lips and shifts in his seat. This boy's gonna cause some trouble.

A Bill Gates clip shows, apparently, Bill giving a puppet show.

Larry drinks some water — WHILE SERGEY IS TALKING. Best. Ventriloquist. Ever. These guys should tour.