Gawker: valleywag, valleywag mascot

Chadrick worships at the Church of Google

Jackson West — Thu, 29 May 2008 17:00:00 EDT

Metaversality's Chadrick Baker, our adorably optimistic mascot, intends to become a minister in the Church of Google, a new organization for worshippers of the almighty algorithm. Commandments not issued from on high in Mountain View include "Thou shalt not build thy own commercial-free Search Engine, for I am a jealous Engine, bringing law suits and plagues against the fathers of the children unto the third and fourth generations," and "Thou shalt not manipulate Search Results. Search Engine Optimization is but the work of Microsoft." And praying to your new god is as simple as a search query.

Followers have even posted nine proofs of Google's godliness, thought I'm not sure it would pass a test of logical consistency. The prayers are kinda funny, but the hate mail is rather disappointing — the true believers are probably still busy sending emails to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I, for one, am unshaken in my belief in the Invisible Pink Unicorn, blessed be her holy hooves.

Chadrick loves Hillary Clinton, but not as president

Owen Thomas — Wed, 14 May 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker, the virtual-worlds impresario who recently found love in the arms of fellow geek Diana Furka, wants everyone to know that he doesn't hate Hillary Clinton. He merely wants her to stop running for president, which is why he lent his image to Hillary Please Stop, a website which is visually petitioning Clinton to withdraw from the Democratic race. Alas for Baker, I suspect this site will be as effective as Sorry Everybody was at buffing America's image abroad.

Chadrick loves Diana, and the feeling is mutual

Owen Thomas — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:00:00 EDT

The act that first brought Chadrick Baker, virtual-worlds advocate and lover of love, to our attention was his declaration of romantic fealty to four Valley foxes. Bad news for Sarah Meyers, Amanda Lorenzani, and Sarah Lacy: Baker has found his feelings for Ask.com art director Diana Furka requited. Before declaring their feelings, the two pursued a platonic paternship on a website, Oddistry.com. Good luck, you crazy kids! As for the rest of you, can you think of a better caption for mascot and mate? Suggest one in the comments, and it will become the new headline. Yesterday's winner: "You mean this isn't the Facebook prom?" by dannyisme.

Valleywag mascot touts computerized beaver at Maker Faire

Owen Thomas — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:40:00 EDT

Chadrick Baker, Valleywag's mascot, has been suspiciously silent lately. I'd just started to worry that he'd disappeared into a virtual world once and for all when he popped up to let me know he and Ask.com's Diana Furka had posted a new video on Oddistry.com. Thank goodness! Learn about the compubeaver and the emerging popularity of "steampunk" in this episode. Check out the end, where Furka touts her employer's search engine. As a marketing strategy, it makes slightly more sense than trying to find Jesus.

Chadrick loves crowdsourcing his new look

Owen Thomas — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:40:00 EDT

Can you help Chadrick Baker, the Metaversatility biz-dev guy who recently became Valleywag's new mascot? He's shaved off the beard in this four-year-old profile pic, but hasn't settled on an icon that best captures his new, fresh-faced look. Chadrick has asked for suggestions on his blog, but we think Valleywag readers can best help him. Vote in our poll for your favorite window on Chadrick's soul:

Chadrick loves speaking to nobody

Owen Thomas — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker addresses the crowd at a recent virtual-reality conference. Suggest your caption in the comments [Tech Tucked Under a Wing]

Chadrick loves blasphemous gay Jesus

Owen Thomas — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Here's how Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker spent his Easter. Usual caption contest rules reply, plus a special one: The headline must start by informing readers what Chadrick loves.

Valleywag mascot awarded second meaningless title

Owen Thomas — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:00:00 EDT

We're so proud! Chadrick Baker, the omniphilic gadabout who replaced Robert Scoble in our obsessions, has been named an advisory board member by the Association of Virtual Worlds. "The three dimensional Internet will emerge, and it's those who get involved now who will be considered the new early adopters," says our mascot, who used to work as Second Life's policy bad cop at Linden Lab. Got it! Attention, annoying VRML kids who worked at BigBook in the 1990s: You're officially the old early adopters. But somehow, I bet that Chadrick still loves you.

Chadrick loves helping Diana Furka launch tech blog Oddistry.com

Owen Thomas — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 22:00:24 EDT

Our new Valleywag mascot, Chadrick Baker, first came to our attention by announcing his love for the tech girls of Silicon Valley. Now he's ventured beyond love into selfless devotion. Ask.com art director Diana Furka has launched a new tech-culture videoblog, Oddistry. Baker is helping produce. I asked Baker whether Oddistry.com was anything like JakobandJulia.com, the ill-fated relationship blog of Vimeo founder Jakob Lodwick and reality-TV hopeful Julia Allison.

He and Furka aren't dating, Baker hastened to clarify. "This is different," he IM'd me. "Although, if that'll give her press, we could always do the Jakob and Julia angle." Chadrick, as our mascot, Valleywag does have certain expectations of you. In the clip above, Furka explains the recent bridal extravaganza which got Baker felt up by a hairy man in a dress.

Chadrick loves big hairy men in dresses

Owen Thomas — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:00:30 EDT

When last I saw Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker, he offered to make out with me. I assumed he was kidding. But then he turned up looking natty in a tux, with a drag-queen bride at his side. Really, Chadrick, we don't care which way you swing — just keep swinging. Chadrick with more brides, after the jump.

(Photos by chrismatthews)

Chadrick loves Southwest calling the cops on him for being a "fuckin' genius"

Owen Thomas — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:40:05 EDT

"I've just been the victim of an attempted undressing by Southwest Airlines," Valleywag mascot Chadrick Baker informs us via his blog. Returning from SXSW, Baker sported a T-shirt he'd borrowed from Ask.com's Diana Furka (shown here modeling it). It announced to the world what Valleywag already knew about our Chadrick: He's a "fuckin' genius." Such a genius that he wore said shirt while flying Southwest back to San Francisco. Come on, Chadrick!

Southwest is the airline which once tried to kick off a Hooters Girl over her miniskirt. A flight attendant told our Chadrick to take off his shirt because Southwest is "a family airline." Apparently a shirtless guy on a plane was deemed less offensive than his T-shirt. Sadly, he covered up with a jacket instead. But his questions about Southwest's clothing policy irked an attendant enough that she had a cop get on board the flight at LAX. He narrowly dodged them by holding his bag in front of him as he got off the plane. Next time, Chadrick, fly United. You're too important to the future of the Internet to go to jail.

(Photos by Chadrick Baker)