It's the exact same story that pathetic local news stations use for scare stories between "Your New Carpet Could Give You AIDS" and "Highway Killings: More Common Than You Think." But it's even worse, as it's in a "respected" newspaper and it's a good five years beyond when this could even questionably be considered newsworthy.

It goes through the same formula that all these stories do: first, it uses an example of "l33t 5p34k" that is full of numbers, is pretty much unreadable and no one actually would ever use. This is to shock people into feeling like they're out of the loop. It then interviews a bunch of kids "in the know" about it, who then show that, well, it's really just a jokey set of misspellings that people say when around fellow dorks. Then, they interview some dude with his panties in a twist about how the English language is going down the tubes because kids are saying lawl to each other.

Let me break this down for you: Back when you were doing the Lindy Hop and wearing zoot suits, you had a set of slang too. It freaked your parents out. It was a way for you to bond with your peers and have a shared language. It did not destroy the sanctity of the English language when you said stuff like 23 Skidoo and bee's knees. This is the exact same thing, but because it comes from the internet, something else that's new and terrifying, you think it's even more disastrous. Well, guess what? It's not. You're an alarmist idiot. Now go back to complaining about how the Wendy's menu used to be a lot better before they banned trans fats and leave reporting about tech culture to people who know wtf they're talking about. [WSJ]

It's too soon for a review, but Mossberg kind of commented on the keyboard.

And I can tell you that in the first hour it works a little better than I thought, but I'm still not sure it works as well as a regular keyboard—and the first hour is not a very fair test, so I'm going to keep going at it.

For those of you counting (me) that's 18 days before day 0. When he scooped the world on Apple TV, he had it 10 days ahead of the rest of the press. –Brian Lam

Mossberg has an iPhone [Wired]

Read more in the liveblog.

– Brian Lam

All Things D at Giz [Gizmodo]

YouTube Coming to Apple TV

CUPERTINO, California-May, 30, 2007-Apple® today announced that it's bringing the Internet's most popular originally-created content from YouTube to the living room with Apple TV™. Beginning in mid-June, Apple TV will wirelessly stream videos directly from YouTube and play them on a user's widescreen TV. Using Apple TV's elegant interface and simple Apple Remote, viewers can easily browse, find and watch free videos from YouTube in the comfort of their living room.

"This is the first time users can easily browse, find and watch YouTube videos right from their living room couch, and it's really, really fun," said Steve Jobs, Apple's CEO. "YouTube is a worldwide sensation, and Apple TV is bringing it directly from the Internet onto the widescreen TV in your living room."

Thousands of the most current and popular YouTube videos will be available on Apple TV at launch in mid-June, with YouTube adding thousands more each week until the full YouTube catalog is available this fall. With Apple TV's stunning interface and simple Apple Remote, users can easily navigate through YouTube's familiar video browsing categories or search for specific videos. YouTube members can also log-in to their YouTube accounts on Apple TV to view and save their favorite videos.

Apple TV seamlessly integrates with iTunes® to wirelessly play a user's favorite content from a PC or Mac® on their widescreen TV, including movies, TV shows, music, photos and podcasts. Apple TV users can choose from over 500 movies and 350 TV shows in near DVD quality; over five million songs; 5,000 music videos; 100,000 podcasts; and 20,000 audiobooks from the iTunes Store (www.itunes.com). Users can enjoy their favorite music on a home entertainment system and view slideshows of their photo albums on a widescreen TV.

Apple today also announced that it is offering a new Apple TV build-to-order option with a 160GB hard drive. The new larger hard drive offers four times the storage for up to 200 hours of video, 36,000 songs, 25,000 photos or a combination of each.* Apple TV is easy to connect to a broad range of widescreen TVs and home theater systems and comes standard with HDMI, component video, analog and optical audio ports. Using high-speed AirPort® 802.11n Wi-Fi wireless networking, Apple TV can auto-sync content from one computer or stream content from up to five additional computers right to a TV without any wires.**

Pricing & Availability
Apple TV, which includes the Apple Remote, is available through the Apple Store® (www.apple.com), Apple's retail stores and Apple Authorized Resellers for a suggested retail price of $299 (US). Apple TV with a 160GB hard drive will be available tomorrow for a suggested retail price of $399 (US). The YouTube feature for Apple TV will be available as a free software update in mid-June.

Apple TV requires iTunes 7.1 or later running on a Mac with Mac OS® X version 10.3.9 or later, or a Windows PC with Windows XP Home/Professional (SP2).

An 802.11b/g/n wireless network using AirPort, AirPort Extreme® or 10/100 Base-T Ethernet networking is required. Internet access is required and a broadband connection is recommended, fees may apply. Apple TV requires an enhanced definition or high-definition widescreen TV. iPod® games will not play on Apple TV. The iTunes store is available in the US and select countries.

*Video playback based on 640x480 iTunes video content. Music capacity based on four minutes per song and 128-Kbps AAC encoding. Photo capacity based on Apple TV viewable photos transferred from iTunes. Actual capacity varies by content.

**Based on an IEEE 802.11n draft specification. Compatible with 802.11b/g/n, wireless video streaming requires an 802.11g/n network.

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. Today, Apple continues to lead the industry in innovation with its award-winning computers, OS X operating system and iLife and professional applications. Apple is also spearheading the digital media revolution with its iPod portable music and video players and iTunes online store, and will enter the mobile phone market this year with its revolutionary iPhone.

8:14 Mossberg and Swisher take the stage, after some WSJ intro by the former and current managing editor

and their (not) opponents later tonight...

8:17: Showing a video of the "dark side of D"

8:26 Jill Sobule on stage playing a few songs...D is like Mossberg's US Festival (google Woz).

8:31 Back to work. Ballmer shows up. I see the Surface table on the right.

10:33 4 out of 30 of the original MSFT people are great. Mossberg takes a shot at Paul Allen, saying he isn't good. Crowd laughs.
10:35 Let's talk about Vista, for some reason, it's taken five years to get it out. You've said you'll never take that long again. How?

SB: We have to learn from our mistakes, we've got the will, the determination, we tried to do too much incubation into a new tech, and make it dependent on itself, and exponentially increased the complexity of the project.

8:37 WM: What's the schedule, 2.5 years?

SB: Windows Live will get into a predictable rhythm, and some stuff will be faster [whatever that means]

WM: Some of Windows Live seems to be rebranding, some of it is new. I thought Virtual Earth was a better name than the new one. Is there anything in common to all the new ware other than the name Windows?

SB: Windows Live software marked by frequent updates. Some of the eco system, we haven't moved as quickly as we like. We like to state it first, and then go there as quickly as we can [contrary to Apple of old]

8:40: SB: Talking a lot of fluff, but basically saying some will, some won't.

WM: Talking about software, and new business models. Advertising.

SB: We're coming and coming. Microsoft's unique thing is that we're trying to have multiple muscles.

WM: One can't help but notice that you have to do that, if you're going to compete with Apple, Google, etc. Building a factory to build Zunes?

SB: No, it was just a subcontractor, everything is subcontracted. Hardware is only a method of delivering services.

WM: But hardware is a part of that formula.

SB: Yes.

WM: And you have the market cornered on brown gadgets.

SB: Yes, high market share, too. It's what Dirt Bike Riders want! (giggle)

SB: We're getting stuff at DEMO

WM: This is D.You have to pay to show your stuff at DEMO.

Unveiling the Suface table

WM: This is real, right? Because someone [hp] unveiled something like this and never sold it.

MSFT: Multitouch...
WM: I thought another company had that tech?
MSFT: This is massive multitouch

MSFT: Inside, 5 cameras, and a DLP system.

WM: How long does it take to boot up? Crowd laughs.
MSFT: It's always on.
[updated timestamps to the right time.]

MSFT: Easy, and there won't need to be a Dummies book.
WM: But there will be

MSFT: Can detect devices, so it can read RFID and recognize people.

They're dragging multliple photos at once. And dragging videos while playing.

8:56 Showing automatic wireless sync with the table. They put the camera on the table,and photos flow out from it on to the Surface table.

8:57 Walt does a Caesars Palace scratch card. Great, maybe he can win enough cash to buy the table. (Microsoft keeps talking about the consumer, but isn't this for business?)

8:57 WM: Can this be bigger?
MSFT: Yes, we found that 30 inches is ideal, but it will scale. We will have thin versions, paintings that you can hang on the wall.

SB: Educators are interested.

WM: The highest use isn't to lose money in casinos? (WM is funny this morning.)

WM: T-Mobile...can this device make T-Mobile not terrible?
Can you see an exec saying "Why not make it not terrible?"

MSFT showing T-Mobile demo with the phones, for in-store comparison.

8:59 WM: Now these have large steel cables attached to the phones, right?
MSFT mumbles
SB: Mockingly repeats WM, in jest. [Three stooges up there]

Sheraton music app being shown.

WM: Because when you think "Sheraton," you think Music, yea?
WM Wait, I can't change the queue of songs?!
MSFT Sorry. [just for D]

MSFT: This is a Vista PC underneath it all.

Video pieces that move on the table (physical bricks playing video) for a video jigsaw puzzle. Cool.

Table demo over. Mossberg and Ballmer continue to chat...

WM You just spent a lot of money on search. Why are you still losing market share to google.

SB Market leader has momentum. We're well down the learning curve, the relevance of our search results go up, Search innovation, stagnant for 6 years, so there's room for innovation. We're in the game.

WM But you were in the game 2 years ago, and you're continuing to lose

SB We've wallowed, not lost.

WM You hoped or expected this?

SB No, but it doesn't stop our determination.

9:10 SB...the market leader...

WM: You can say google, you know.

SB: No, I can't! I have to say market leader!

WM:...You're scaring me.

9:17 WM Are you going to stick with Zune.

SB We don't drop things. There's a short list of things we back off on. We choose to get in at one price point, with a device not too revolutionary. This Xmas, we'll have something better.

9:18 WM Will you do a Phone?

SB No [LOOKS LIKE HES LYING TO ME, IMO] The notion of market share is nice for phones. But phones run software, and the question is, will it be our software or from others.

WM So Samsung shouldn't be worried you're going to screw the phone guys like the music guys got screwed by their partner?

SB They have their own situation there....[tapered off into jibberish]

9:21 Rahul from Voodoo gets the big first question (Rahul from HP) "making some cool products". Something about simplifying products

WM Thanks for that commercial.

SB: We all should. [long fluffy answer.]

[Editing heavily for fluff at this point]
9:25 [microsoft has both research and R&D labs, did you know that? Both. Separate. There's something wrong with that.]

SB...PCs for low income houses in our China research center...

WM You're still more local than, say, google. Do you need to move to a more distributed model.

SB: It's inevitable, for talent. But our people are flexible. Say you want to work on "fu" one day, and "bar" the other day, you can. [Did he just say that they're working on FUBAR?]

9:34 Question from someone: Most of the innovations come from leisure and entertainment. But you're a big company that has the power to do things like help organize, say, medical records. I wonder why you put some resources towards something like that years ago, but it seems like you could genuinely impact the world in that way.

SB We're doing that. The least automated and fastest growing area of the economy is health (one could argue).

Session Closed.

All Things D at Giz [Gizmodo]

• Checking in with everyone's favorite accused killer that's contributed to the Linux kernel: Mr. Reiser's alibi got a lot better, as his dead wife's ex-lover confessed to killing 8 people. Fire up your Google and plug in Sean Sturgeon. Who knows, he may be the guy who wrote to the SEC like a forth grader. back story in a /. comment.
• Why is Terry Semel commenting on Tom Cruise's relationship?
• Speaking of comments, check out this doozie on the Wall Street Journal's Deal Journal blog. A fellow by the name of Thomas accuses the blog of fumbling the Microhoo! football. Far be it from the Fonz to criticize bad journalism, but pointing and staring is allowed. Is Thomas a crackpot?
• And speaking of Microhoo! we have a very serious question to ask you, our beloved and sweet smelling readers: Will Steve Ballmer convert to Scientology? Our money is on "Yes!"

This is, of course, a few months after co-founder and CEO Chad Hurley said YouTube wasn't for sale and might go public on its own. Months. That's forever in Internet time, so it doesn't count as lying.

Google Is in Talks to Buy YouTube [WSJ, free today]
Earlier: What happens if Google buys YouTube [Valleywag]

Facebook.com, the popular social-networking Web site for students, is suddenly getting the cold shoulder on campus.

There are plenty of reasons this summary is unfair, and the article deconstructs itself:

• Facebook has over nine million members logging 6 billion page views a month. Under half a million members protesting does not a revolution make.
• Those who do protest, mostly protest by making Facebook groups and chatting on the site. That's not a cold shoulder, that's solid traffic.
• For every user that doesn't like the new feeds, there are ten who love them.
• And that traffic will add up fast.

Oh well, at least some college kids got their names in the Journal and made Mom and Dad proud, so it's not a total loss.

New Facebook Features Have Members in an Uproar [Wall Street Journal, free]

The Times:

So we're picking sides already?

Earlier: AOL sacks CTO (for doing her job) [Valleywag]

• Today's "Reason that San Francisco is cooler than San Jose" is a warning to vegetarians: In Silicon Valley, waiters forcibly stuff meat down your throat. [Metroactive]
• Apparently everyone who didn't know about the Adobe/Microsoft fight over the PDF format has their heads in the sand. Yeah, they're all probably worrying about obscure news this week, like the US killing the world's leading terrorist. [Planet PDF]
• Thanks again, SloshCon sponsors! To everyone else: If you want to give people money to drink, please sponsor the Gnomedex parties coming up in July. [Ponzarelli]
• Is the Glam.com blog network scamming its writers? (Ha, name a blog network that isn't.) A tipster says, "Apparently their $11m in funding doesn't cover paying out a few cents to their partners." [Celebitchy]
• Songwriter Billy Bragg takes his music off Myspace, saying the site's terms and conditions let Rupert Murdoch's media empire re-use all posted music without paying a cent in royalties. One wonders if News Corp would ever get away with acting on that clause, but either way, YAY FOR LEAVING MYSPACE. [Register]
• Pictured: Best. Caption. Ever. The Register snarks at Dell for throwing Wall Street Journal editor Don Clark...a birthday party. [Register]

Microsoft Will Increase Spending On New Markets, Adapting to Web [WSJ]

One attendee asked Mr. Semel if Yahoo would have cooperated with Nazi Germany the same way it has with China. His response: "Yahoo has a basic obligation not to have a point of view on basic content, and to present content ... and aggregate things and to allow people to make their own choices. I don't know how I would have felt then."

"Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. You say 'Nazis,' I say 'business partners.'"

Yahoo Defends China Cooperation [WSJ]

>To the Newsroom:
>
> Business Day has an opening for a technology reporter in the San
> Francisco bureau. For more details from Larry Ingrassia and Kevin
> McKenna, click on Ahead of The Times.
>
>thanks,
>grace

The tipster, tapped into a whole different gossip stream, says, "Good news for all those WSJ bureau reporters about to be axed!"

After the jump, header info for curious data-miners.

>X-Authentication-Warning: ml1.nytimes.com: majordomo set sender to
>[xxx]@nytimes.com using -f
>X-Sender: [xxx]@smtp-store.nytimes.com
>Date: Tue, 23 May 2006 10:07:23 -0400
>To: [xxx]@nytimes.com
>From: Grace Wong <[xxx]@nytimes.com>
>Subject: Technology Reporter Wanted in Business Day
>X-NYTOriginatingHost: ml1.nytimes.com, 170.149.207.45
>Sender: [xxx]@nytimes.com
>
>
>To the Newsroom:
>
> Business Day has an opening for a technology reporter in the San
> Francisco bureau. For more details from Larry Ingrassia and Kevin
> McKenna, click on Ahead of The Times.
>
>thanks,
>grace
>

The New York Times
229 West 43rd St.
New York, NY 10036
212-556-xxxx
917-453-xxxx

Psst, WSJ, I'll give you a hint since you're new to the reporting biz and all — Sergey probably doesn't like being misspelled.

Management à la Google [WSJ, registration needed]

The Wall Street Journal runs an "everyone's spending in China" story — which, of course, means someone wants everyone to spend in China, and that certain someone has good friends at the Journal. Even the Journal's boring graphs can't agree — on the left we've got a spike, okay, but on the right? More money's going in, but in smaller piles. Other than dramatic VCs buying tinier briefcases to present the cash in (what, you thought China had a credit infrastructure? What do you think it is, the home of a tech boom?), the upshot is that smaller and smaller businesses are getting more and more reasonable funding packages.

Which is exactly the dull sort of business environment we're trying to escape in the Valley. Because the tech industry can't be run like the Old Economy, with reasonable valuations and no drama, right?

Venture Capital Swarms China [WSJ, subscription]

Google is moving toward being able to "store 100% of user data," the notes indicate, citing, "emails, Web history, pictures, bookmarks" as a few examples. Any timeline is unclear. The internal notes say Google's "store 100%" scenario would be made possible if Google had "infinite storage."

Brilliant. Left out, I assume, is the revelation: "Google's live-forever scenario would be made possible if not for the problem of death."

Google Has Plan to Act As Hard Drive for Users' Files [WSJ]

Here's the Register of Interests:

Feels like the WSJ is just sniping at bloggers. Rather embarrassing to see them stretch this far. Is there a grudge they're not disclosing?

Incidentally, let's flesh this register out. Which other bloggers are tied to outside interests? Comment or e-mail.

Blog Buzz on High-Tech Start-Ups Causes Some Static [WSJ]

It seems Mr. Mossberg was testing the flickr clone Vizrea when they decided to feature his personal test images on their front page. That's good for us—we love nothing more than to gaze into Mr. Mossberg's visage pretending we are a fledging technology company whose product he's about to pan; Tell us we've been naughty, Walt.

But perhaps even better is this quote:

Some guy at the conference told Walt, "I just want you to know what an honor it is to be pissing next to Walt Mossberg." Erick's source says that Walt muttered, "Bizarre."

Walt Mossberg privacy watch [ValleyWag]