There's one thing dorky-sexier than Barack Obama: An iPod Touch, the $300 toy that 20 percent of New York University students would trade for their vote in the next presidential election. Downside: Anyone who wants an iPod that bad is clearly a wimpy latte-sipping liberal, meaning that Giuliani just needs two hours at that fancy New York Apple store to rule the country. Upside: Anyone who'd answer a poll like this is better off watching some video than talking to me.

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