DRM music copy protection bad! Steve Jobs good! Steve Jobs God! Really, you don't need to know any more than that about Jobs's inescapable black hole of linkbait, but go read it again. Run your fingers through its hair. Nestle under its arm, in that perfect spot where you fit so well. Mold your body to its perfect physique. Then take a deep breath and plunge into the reaction, which follows this pattern:

1. I love you, Steve!
2. Wow, look at all this reflexive, slavish adoration.
3. I love you, Steve!

So far, the RIAA has not responded, though they did recently recommend that CDs should cost more.

[Photo: Getty]

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