The Devil's Dictionary: True definitions of "vlog" and other terms

• Folksonomy: A definition system by which the language's most important word becomes "porn."
• A+++: A derogatory term on eBay.
• Meme: An idea best expressed on a bumper sticker.
• Monetize: To suck the life from.
• Gamma: Still broken after three tries.
• Ajax: A warrior too powerful to work on your phone.
• Bandwidth: A measure of data transfer with three major plateaus: naughty pictures, naughty videos, and naughty webcams.
• Live search: Search that gives results before you ask for something else.
• Standards-compliant: The web equivalent of "Yeah, but she sure can cook."
• Prosumer: An amateur with $3,000 to burn.
• Hack: Archaic: To compromise secret data through a series of ingenious exploitations of computer software, hardware, and user psychology. Current: To stick index cards and a pen in your pocket.
• BlackBerry: A device for communicating to friends that you'd rather be with other friends.
• Long tail: The mass of products that sell ten times the units the distributor expected, and one tenth the units than the creator expected.
• Information worker: The reason that every hour at the cafe costs you $10 and makes the guy behind you $60.
• Bluetooth: A technology akin to shortening a USB cord, stripping the insulation, and mashing the ends with a hammer.

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