On the internet, nobody knows your company's a dog. Well, not if you have a sufficiently flashy website. Take Voyant. The company, a recently rebranded media and technology holding company, looks impressive on the surface. An investor relations section! A graphic showing the company's vision! The company's motto: Being Voyant! The corporate values? Finally, a company that puts shareholders first. And the shares cost only 55 cents each. Except, that, even after reading the letter to shareholders from the chief exec, put out this week, I still can't work out what the company actually does. After the jump, for your amusement, some of the most absurdly meaningless passages.

Although I've articulated this before, it bears repeating that Voyant is all about creating value at the intersection of content and technology. Think about that for a second, because it is not only descriptive of our corporate mission, but also singularly profound. We believe that we have identified shortcomings in the evolution of the media and entertainment industries and are looking to provide solutions that capitalize on our unique and proprietary business assets...

In addition to system-level ventures that involve partners, we are also developing discrete technology products. Some will be sold to customers on a stand-alone basis, but others will serve as components in our system-level solutions.

We have identified several significant, system-level applications where we believe this physical-layer technology can be a key differentiator. We are putting together development and partnership plans, and we hope to have more to say on this as we make additional progress.

We appreciate your patience and understanding as we execute our plan with an appropriate sense of careful, strategic, and pragmatic urgency.

[From a letter to shareholders from Dana Waldman, Voyant's chief exec]