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My ten awesome ideas for the big Internet sites (1% reward please)

Hi, I am a young person who goes to major web sites! I am "in the know" about technology so I have several good ideas for these sites, and I will list them here. ATTENTION PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR THESE SITES: If you read my idea and you use it, you have to pay me for it with 1% of your company. My first idea will finally make Yahoo a popular web site.

1. Make Yahoo cooler for teens and young people
Yahoo is this portal site that used to be a search site. Now I think only people like my mom use it for maybe recipes, and a game that is totally a ripoff of Scrabble (but they call it Literati). Now Facebook has Scrabble (only they call it Scrabulous which is closer I guess), so I bet all those moms will go play it there because it's realer Scrabble. So if Yahoo wants to really be a big site, they should have things that people my age might like, such as some Kanye West music and Transformers. (Sorry Yahoo, Transformers is already out so maybe ask Michael Bay what his next movie will be and link to that.)

2. Put something under the stuff on the Google homepage
When I go to Google, there's all this white space under the logo and the search bar. My idea is to put something else there, like a game or a funny quote. Then people will reload the page to see another funny quote (I have some on my MySpace that they can borrow, but most of mine are from Mind of Mencia). So Google will have like five viewers for every viewer it has now! But to make money from that they should put an ad on the front page too.

3. Add commercials to YouTube
Duh guys. I can't believe they haven't thought of this. I watch all the Family Guy on this site, so why does YouTube take out the commercials? It would be okay to keep just the good ones in, like ones from Geico (LOL caveman!).

4. Make MySpace faster
Get on this guys!!

5. Put happy faces on every page of LiveJournal
I hear a lot of people on LiveJournal are goths and other sad people, and they kill themselves. Maybe not every page needs a happy face, but if the user writes "Current mood: depressed" the page could show a smiley face, and the face could be saying "Don't be!" Well, it would have to say "Don't be depressed!" so no one thought it was saying "Don't be!" meaning "Don't live!"

6. Let people add themselves on IMDb
This one is pretty clever if I do say so myself. FACT: I like looking at my friends and how they're connected on Facebook. FACT: I like looking at actors (and actresses! Don't worry Mom just ones with clothes on) and how they're connected on IMDb. THEREFORE: If I can add my friends to IMDb, it's like they were in movies with stars! It makes them feel special and no one is confused because people know "Oh that's not really an actor in this movie, it's just someone's friend. They probably feel special."

7. Put a Flickr logo on photos from Flickr
Then when someone uses a Flickr photo somewhere else, they'll know it was from Flickr, so it's free advertising! The people who use Flickr won't mind because they all seem to love that site, so they'll be like "Awesome, Flickr likes me back! BFF, Flickr!"

8. Turn Go.com into a site for the board game
Maybe Yahoo will buy it and put it next to Scrab— OOPS Literati.

9. Add porn to Vimeo
Then it's better than YouTube and will take over! Vimeo has a beautiful design which will go well with the beautiful women of porn.

10. By simply advancing iterations of its current filtering technologies coupled with rudimentary grammatical AI, Google News ought to provide truly customized news in a more user-friendly "recap" form.
It is not out of the question that the Google News system could detect a regular user's news browsing patterns and apply machine learning to find articles most relevant to said user, then use TF-IDF to whittle down the day's news into a single paragraph customized to them. This of course may threaten news publishers in a scenario foreshadowed in the short film "EPIC 2014," but Google has shown skill in defusing such standoffs in the past, as demonstrated in its deft maneuvers over Viacom. The move would certainly impress the media and provide publicity to a currently ignored product.

Nick Douglas writes at Valleywag, Too Much Nick, and Look Shiny. Like such as South Africa and the Iraq.


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