Google is introducing a new online questionnaire for job applicants, according to the New York Times. The search engine has finally reconciled itself to the conventional wisdom of modern human resources professionals, that interviews often only test interview technique, rather than suitability for a position. And, one suspects, the exhaustive interview process has been even more draining for Google's vetters as for the applicants themselves. Anyway, the key question: how to shine in the new questionnaire?

Dogs. Don't bother getting a dog. Google's HR department, seeing the number of dogs around the campus, did examine whether affection for pets was associated with useful personality traits, but it wasn't.

Precociousness. If asked when you first got excited about computers, the answer is early, obviously.

GPA score. The search engine used to require a 3.0 grade-point average, even for ad sales staff. Having found that academic achievement isn't always correlated with professional success, that rule has been relaxed. How progressive. But, I think we can safely assume, only for grunt jobs. So keep cramming.

Interests. All that resume padding you did? It wasn't a waste of time! Yes, you did tutor the disadvantaged kid down the street. Let's forget for a minute that he was on the high-school football team and threatened to beat you up if you didn't do his homework. Dig out the old resume to remind yourself of obscure high-school clubs you founded. Even if you were the only member. It all contributes to your score.

How messy is your desk? We're not sure whether this question made it in to the final questionnaire, but presume that the usual cliches apply. A fungus-friendly workspace is a sign of a creative engineer, but an office manager should be revolted by disorder.

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