Plague of microcells agitates microwaved masses

Apparently uninterested in the possibility of accidentally gaining microwave-based superpowers, San Franciscans are objecting to the growing number of microcell antennae planted surreptitiously in residential areas. Microcells are ostensibly designed to fill in coverage holes that big antennae can't reach, but since installing microcells requires no public or civic review beyond a building permit, they're easy for cellphone providers to slap up indiscriminately. The only concrete objections at present are aesthetic and safety, the latter on the grounds of wires blocking fire escapes. No correlation has yet been established with the increasing incidence of newborns with heat vision.

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