Valleywag exclusive: Interview with Sand Hill Slave

Sand Hill Slave has been bitching — hilariously — about her work as an admin assistant at a couple of VC firms. The anonyblogger's tagline, "I No Longer Fear Hell for I work in Venture Capital," implies that she's just the sort of girl Valleywag should chat with. So I did.

Sand Hill Slave: Hey Valley Wag :-) How goes it the land of tech gossip?
Valleywag: Hey!
Valleywag: Right, so, Sand Hill Slave, you've been all over the blogosphere, planting joy in comment threads by linking to your blog.
Valleywag: How long have you been working in the valley?
Sand Hill Slave: long enough to make these observations :-)
Sand Hill Slave: about 5-6 years I guess
Sand Hill Slave: it's like dog years to me.
Valleywag: and you've climbed up the ladder?
Sand Hill Slave: yeah you could say that. climbed up, fallen, climbed back up again
Valleywag: Just confess it — you're John Doerr, right?
Sand Hill Slave: No it's me, Vinod.
Valleywag: vinod, eh?
Valleywag: the former golden-touch vc?
Sand Hill Slave: I'm not so sure any of these guys even pay attention
Sand Hill Slave: I mean an admin.. come on
Valleywag: john, you can't stall us. WHAT WAS WITH THE SEGWAY, JOHN?
Sand Hill Slave: Hey I like segways they are kind of cool
Sand Hill Slave: oooh are you flirting with me?
Sand Hill Slave: I could be a boy
Valleywag: oh, DO tell me that you aspire higher than dating gossip bloggers.
Valleywag: which vcs have you slept with?

Porn in the office and bad Banana Republic after the jump.

Sand Hill Slave: Yes the irony of it all is...I JUST WANT TO DATE A VC.
Sand Hill Slave: umm I've never slept with one
Valleywag: none yet? and you're already blogging?
Valleywag: So tell me about the partners with porn in the office.
Sand Hill Slave: yeah it was awhile back.
Sand Hill Slave: I was cleaning out an office...old board books and the like
Sand Hill Slave: and lo and behold
Sand Hill Slave: I couldn't help but start laughing
Valleywag: it'd make a killing on ebay
Sand Hill Slave: the porn on the computer
Sand Hill Slave: is the big one
Valleywag: so you go around searching for this?
Sand Hill Slave: it's more about cleaning out a messy office
Valleywag: and now you secretly want steve jurvetson to whisk you away on his chariot?
Sand Hill Slave: blonds are ok. but not really into them.
Sand Hill Slave: I just saw that movie Batman Returns and the guy in there...
Sand Hill Slave: He was in American Psycho.
Sand Hill Slave: Wow. how come men I work for do not look like that
Sand Hill Slave: Then I'd really have something to blog about-
Valleywag: so none of the vcs actually turn you on?
Sand Hill Slave: nope.
Valleywag: you must be hiding a raging crush for one of them
Sand Hill Slave: I need someone with a sense of humor. That's my first prerequisite.
Valleywag: and vcs...
Sand Hill Slave: I don't know every VC in the valley, but most of the ones I see/hear/meet
Sand Hill Slave: they are just...well...it is what it is.
Valleywag: and it is...?
Sand Hill Slave: Bland.
Sand Hill Slave: I'm just saying this from a perspective of a woman
Valleywag: so imagine the entire VC partner line-up is in front of you
Valleywag: and right now
Valleywag: RIGHT NOW
Valleywag: you have to get it on with one — or at least suffer through a date with the guy
Sand Hill Slave: hmmm
Sand Hill Slave: I have to look at pictures
Sand Hill Slave: most of them are older you know
Valleywag: that's what makes it so fun for ya
Sand Hill Slave: yeah Viagra has really f*cked things up for the trophy wives man
Valleywag: oldest vc with porn on the computer?
Sand Hill Slave: umm the oldest at the time... I think he was
Sand Hill Slave: probably around mid to late 40's
Valleywag: oh, that's disappointing
Sand Hill Slave: Well to be fair, I'm sure plenty of SV CEOs have smut rags stuffed somewhere in their offices or on their computer...
Valleywag: surely
Sand Hill Slave: why is it disappointing? Men around that age are most likely to stray from their wives
Valleywag: good point. ever found evidence?
Sand Hill Slave: there are plenty of stories in the valley about VCs CEOs etc sleeping with assistants
Sand Hill Slave: the Dresdner Wasserstein case in NYC
Sand Hill Slave: I've had married guys flirt with me
Valleywag: how high up?
Valleywag: can you name just one name?
Sand Hill Slave: people that have worked at my firms
Valleywag: about how many partners have flirted with you?
Sand Hill Slave: you know it's tough because you want to foster a good environment where everyone can joke around
Sand Hill Slave: so it's difficult to determine. and it's an individual assessment
Sand Hill Slave: what you might consider over the line
Valleywag: right, like, if a vc just wants to ride his admin's bare back like a horse
Sand Hill Slave: HAHAHHA
Valleywag: could all be in jest, no harm done
Valleywag: long as it's after noon
Sand Hill Slave: after everyone's gone....
Valleywag: everyone in suits anyway
Sand Hill Slave: yeah you can always tell the east coast guys from that one
Sand Hill Slave: when they show up in suits
Sand Hill Slave: I sometime think "That's some bad Banana Republic you got going on there"
Sand Hill Slave: whatever look you were going for.. you missed.
Sand Hill Slave: (things that go on in sand hill slaves head)
Valleywag: who, among all vcs you've worked for or not, was the most hopeless case, the biggest ego in the most undeserving container?
Sand Hill Slave: hahaha again.. no names from me. As for egos, COME most of them do. It's their nature.
Sand Hill Slave: (come on)
Valleywag: nice freudian slip
Valleywag: you want them BAD
Sand Hill Slave: uhh ok (sand hill slave breaks down)
Sand Hill Slave: (wipes her eyes on her thomas pink shirt and almost takes an eye out with the cufflink)
Sand Hill Slave: you caught me
Valleywag: so when do you show up on yahoo and reveal you're just part of an online reality show?
Sand Hill Slave: I'm sure I'll be outed at one point
Valleywag: yeah, with that self-publicity, how afraid are you of being named?
Sand Hill Slave: Not really.
Sand Hill Slave: Whether it's me or someone else that is doing a blog like this
Sand Hill Slave: a firm would be hard pressed to fire someone
Valleywag: you don't think this blog could get you fired?
Sand Hill Slave: there is no specific mention of the firm or the goings on
Sand Hill Slave: if it did they would have one hell of a lawsuit
Sand Hill Slave: on thier hands
Sand Hill Slave: we might "part ways" with a hefty severance payment
Valleywag: and if you left the business, would you name names?
Sand Hill Slave: maybe
Sand Hill Slave: but these people haven't done real harm to me
Sand Hill Slave: no need to embarrass them
Sand Hill Slave: some guys can be jerks to work for. But maybe in their personal life they are sweet as kittens...
Valleywag: do promise you'll be in touch with me when you're fired
Sand Hill Slave: hahaha
Sand Hill Slave: you bet

Sand Hill Slave [anonymous blog]

Contact information for this author is not available.

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