How to be a jerk about Web 2.0

NICK DOUGLAS — "Oh my god Web 2.0? More like Bubble 2.0!" Okay, good start. But to really intimidate non-geeks and show how you're so over Web 2.0 (as proved by the five parody logos you uploaded on Flickr and auto-inserted into your blog), you need to break out these advanced tactics.

• Say "meta" a lot. Do it in an apologetic way, like a hipster admitting that she still listens to Modest Mouse even though they're on the radio now. Take photos of other people taking photos (and yourself in the mirror), blog about blogs, and practice recursive activity until you suck the reality out of your life and are numb to the world around you. Afterward, say "Ohmygod, that was so meta!"
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• Complain about every service that you never sign up for. Say it'll never catch on, because, well, your friends aren't on it! This is why, because your friends don't read Reader's Digest either, that magazine does not exist.
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• Ironically spell things with an added "r" at the end. If a word ends with "er," remove the "e". Do this liberally, like Pig Latin.
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• When a confused non-techie asks you "What is Web 2.0?" what do you say?

  WRONG: "It's a term for a new generation of web sites and web applications that use fluid or 'dynamic' pages, compile user-made content (like videos, photos, or blog posts) instead of content from a few paid contributors, and keep more information stored on a server than on the user's computer."

  RIGHT: First, roll your eyes and sigh deeply (RYEASD). Then: "Oh god, I know, aren't you sick of hearing that word for the last three years?" This works especially well when the questioner clearly just saw the term pop up on Saturday Night Live.

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• When you recognize everyone at a startup party: (1) RYEASD. (2) Signal that you're tired of meeting "the same people" at every party. (3) Ignore flyers at venue for dozens of parties centered around DJs, hipster trends, bands, and everything but Web 2.0.
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• Then loudly ask where they're serving the Kool-Aid.

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• Bitch about how your $300 phone doesn't support Google Maps.
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• Write a cynical blog about it.

Ohmygod, that was so meta!

Images by Mike Monteiro, Thomas Hawk, and Cherry S

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