TechCrunch Blames Flopping Facebook Home on iPhone

No, it's not just you—this headline doesn't really make any sense. And yet that's explanation from TechCrunch's Josh Constine, the FB communications team who moonlights as a blogger. It's not Facebook's fault that nobody wants to phone Home. Blame those seductive iPhones.

It's hard to bend over backwards apologizing for a company without hurting a tendon, but Constine is corporately limber as always:

Facebook didn’t realize just how important widgets, docks, and app folders were to Android users, and that leaving them out of Home was a huge mistake. That’s because some of the Facebookers who built and tested Home normally carry iPhones, I’ve confirmed.

This of course makes no sense—just look at Google, which manages to produce some of the best apps you can get for your iPhone, despite being... Google. Yet Constine thinks there has to be some rational explanation for Home gaining little traction, as it's unfathomable that Facebook just didn't design the app well enough to woo many Android fans.

Unfathomable, or unwelcome. It's not just that he wrote several glowing pieces about the software—I gave it a good review at Gizmodo, too—it's that Constine has built a career out of his cheery Facebook coverage (and it's gotten him in some trouble before, too). Coverage like this doesn't just materialize out of good vibes and morning dew. Facebook, perhaps more than any other company short of Apple, symphonically plays favorites, sending a never-ending stream of "sources" that are able to hand TechCrunch news in advance. All they expect in return is a hype mill that's been churning in favor of the Facebook phone since 2010. This narrative of praise and apologias won't go anywhere, so long as writers like Constine wish to have a home away from home at Facebook HQ. Up next: nobody is downloading the software because of high pollen levels.