The future is now, and it is conducive to extremely depressing, impersonal gifts for your lover. Brit Morin and TaskRabbit, a startup for lazy babies who can't use their own limbs, are promising "hassle-free romance" this year, in the form of 3D-printed roses.
To be clear: if someone buys you 3D-printed flowers for Valentine's Day, or any other day, sever all ties with that person immediately. But it's not just the lifelessness of the gift—the entire execution is entirely devoid of humanity:
TaskRabbit and Brit + Co have teamed up to add a tech twist to V-Day 2014. Give your main squeeze a bouquet of 3D-printed roses made by the folks at Brit + Co. Live in San Francisco? For an extra $10, a friendly TaskRabbit will deliver directly to your sweetheart's doorstep. Buy a dozen roses and get them delivered for FREE.
A dozen for $100! Let's think this through: by tapping a virtual button on an app, machine-printed "flowers' made out of hardened plastic will be manufactured and delivered to your significant other by a stranger paid on a freelance basis. TaskRabbit continues: "Snag 'em while you still can. We've got a *very* limited supply of roses." It's unclear how fake flowers made out of plastic and created by an entirely automated process can be in "very limited supply."
Maybe next year, there will be startups to outsource the contrived sex and tense dinner, as well.