The Year in Completely Incoherent TechCrunch HeadlinesS

It's been a banner year for Silicon Valley's blog of record—investor cash is flowing, and incomprehensible gibberish companies are flourishing. As are incomprehensible gibberish articles about them.

If you think it's painful to read these, just imagine having to write them! It's impossible to pick all of the Seussian flip-florp-SaaS-Kaboozle-lark-blomply headlines, but here's a selection of our favorites, from our cloud to yours:

  • Zofari Debuts A "Pandora For Places" On iPhone & Android
  • Accel Leads $4.5M Series A In Trufa, An SAP HANA Startup Using Predictive Analytics For Opex Efficiency
  • Priceonomics Dumps Price Guides To Marry Its True Love, Blogging (And Data Crawling)
  • Goldee Shifts From Software To Crowdfunding A Hue-Compatible Smart Light Switch
  • WePopp, The Social Planning App, Raises €130K From French Angels To "Growth-Hack" Its Way To Success
  • Checking Up On Monkey Inferno, The Tech Incubator Where Bebo Is Working On Its Rebirth
  • Fantoo Raises £450,000 On Crowdcube To Put The AI Into Corporate Email
  • What Now?! App, A Pocket Concierge For The Airbnb Generation, Launches At Disrupt Europe
  • Instagram Is The Apple Of Apps, Fast Following With Finesse
  • Rocket's Africa Internet Holding Launches Hotel Booking Site Jovago To Put The Heat On Local Players
  • Floobits Debuts Remote Pair Programming Tool Where You Can Collaborate In Your Favorite Native Editor
  • Vowch, Because Some Recommendations Think Outside The Box
  • SinDelantal.Mx Raises €2.5M From Seaya Ventures To Become The Just Eat Of Mexico (Or Get Bought)
  • African Accelerators Change Tack As 'Savannah Valley' Emerges From The Wilderness
  • Chirpify Drops Its "Hashtag Commerce" Consumer Marketplace To Focus On Big Brand Marketing And "Actiontags"
  • Juengo Loyalty Platform Rewards For Actions Not Purchases

And of course, our absolute favorite:

Loggly, A Splunk Competitor, Raises $10.5M For Cloud-Centric Approach To Log Management

Someday, we'll look back on all of this and realize the warning signs were there all along.

Photo: Getty