You may remember that there was once a company in Canada called RIM — no, really, that was its name — and this company made a product called the BlackBerry. The BlackBerry was a kind of precursor to the iPhone and was quite popular in the early 2000s. Peopled called them CrackBerries, because they were so addictive.
Then the iPhone came out in 2007 and the BlackBerries all ran away and hid in the woods because they knew the iPhones were coming to kill them. And RIM admitted defeat and shut its doors, choosing to die with dignity rather than carry on and get the snot beat out of it forever and ever by some obnoxious pretentious pricks from Cupertino, Calif.
Or did they? No, in fact, they did not. That is what they should have done, but for reasons no one can understand, except that maybe Canadians really do have an amazing sense of humor, RIM decided to carry on.
But RIM made some changes. First, RIM changed its name to BlackBerry, since (a) RIM sounds like something gross; (b) BlackBerry was what everyone called the company anyway, and (c) because marketing people always think that when a company is falling apart the problem must not be the product itself but rather something that can be more easily fixed, like a corporate name.
For years now BlackBerry has kept chugging away up there on the frozen tundra of Waterloo, Ontario, cranking out new products that no one actually buys. It's like the island of misfit toys!
Seriously, no one uses a BlackBerry anymore — including, apparently, the BlackBerry employee who manages BlackBerry's Twitter feed.
There it is, right up top — a tweet from BlackBerry urging you to check out the new BlackBerry, sent "via Twitter for iPhone." (The tweet has since been deleted.)
That, in a nutshell, is how bad BlackBerry now sucks. Even its own people don't use it.
Embarrassing? I suppose. Then again, if you're working for BlackBerry you're already an embarrassment to your friends and family. Things really can't get much worse.