Uber Destroys the Sanctity of Marriage With On-Demand Weddings

Uber is celebrating its progressive values by growth hacking their way into your heart. During Pride weekend in San Francisco, the sharing economy startup will offer UberWEDDINGS: a quick and shameless way to share your life with your loved one.

Uber writes:

We're thankful to be based in San Francisco, a city that recognizes love doesn't have to look any certain way. In honor of Pride week, we're celebrating the inclusive idea that love is love with something that lasts a lifetime.

Want to ensure your wedding is completely forgettable? Just open the Uber app between noon and six on Saturday, drop a pin wherever you want to get hitched, and Uber will rush over a clown car of props to get your happily ever after going.

Didn't have time to write your own vows? No problem! Uber "can provide them for you."

In case getting married by Uber wasn't tacky enough, they've managed to rope seven other companies into the nightmare offer:

When your UberWEDDING arrives, we'll get started right away. You'll first work with our on-site notary to obtain your marriage license. Once the license is official, the violinist will begin to play and the ceremony will commence!

You'll walk down an aisle surrounded by flowers from Bloom That and candles from bella j. After you both say "I Do," we'll celebrate with dessert from SusieCakes, cheers with champagne from Iron Horse and you'll receive a gift bag from L.

In the weeks after your nuptials, our friends at HotelTonight and Alaska Airlines are providing flights and accommodations for your honeymoon. They're proud to help you celebrate your marriage with the person you're sharing your new life with.

At least this promotion isn't being run by Lyft. Nothing could be worse than reading your vows before a pink mustached notary and sealing the deal with a fist bump.