All The Dumb Things Facebook Wants Celebs to Post for the Super BowlS

Facebook has brokered a Superbowl deal with a short list of semi-famous athletes, one CNN anchor, and Fergie's husband. If these stars use Facebook to share a specific kind and number of posts during the big game, the company promises "amplified distribution" and "exposure to new FB fans."

Re/Code's Peter Kafka got his hands on the pitch letter Facebook was sending out to talent agents. It really helps explain why so few celebs agreed to this. Facebook's list of demands is very specific and lame, and will look even lamer now that Re/Code has exposed the strings moving their social media mouths.

Scrolling through backstage riders to critique a celebrity's insane demands has been a venerable American tradition since at least Van Halen's aversion to brown M&Ms. This is the creepo tech version.

"Commentary on performance by National Anthem singer and/or Bruno Mars"? That could have been written by Dave Eggers. Or a robot. Who knows, maybe Google X is working on some hybrid of both:

Public Figure to provide:

Target of 5 – 10 posts during SB using #SB48. Posts should be mix of status updates, photos, and/or short form video. Post topics could include:

o Pre-game photo of your viewing party

o Questions to fan asking them who they thing will win the game

o Commentary on performance by National Anthem singer and/or Bruno Mars at Halftime

o Commentary on big momentum plays (scores, turnovers, penalties)

o Analysis of what you think the teams should be doing (e.g. "John Fox has to run a fake punt here to get the Broncos back in the game")

o Commentary on funny SB commercials

o Congratulatory note to winning team/ specific players at end of game

Encourage fans to upload comments with #FBSBWatch on your page or to their timelines and @reply to their comments

Facebook to provide:
Amplified distribution on posts to your current FB Page fans via our internal organic and ad credit tools

Exposure to new FB fans including:

o Fans of SB athletes you mention in posts (e.g. mention Russell Wilson or Richard Sherman and we show the posts to those fans)

o Fans of SB teams you mention in posts (e.g. mention the Broncos and we show the posts to those fans)

Exclusive access to new FB Pages app to facilitate the posting via mobile and enable fan engagement

Press partnership to highlight your participation in "Watch With" program and your FB posts

Amplified promotion and features on Sports on FB Page

Re/Code says this is all part of Facebook's plan to encourage stars to post "public content" on their platform. You know, the way they naturally do on Twitter and Instagram, nudged along by a few thousand dollars here or there.

As I've noted in the past, Facebook has been explicit about its pitch: Publish with us, and we'll pay you back with eyeballs.

Maybe Facebook should try mellowing out its demands. You're never gonna get the cool celebrities by being so uptight about it.

To contact the author of this post, please email nitasha@gawker.com.

[Image via Shutterstock]