NEMA, the luxury apartment building located 256 feet from Twitter's Mid-Market headquarters has been ham-fisted in its attempts to woo The Vested. They have to be when one-bedrooms start at $3,388/month.

The owners already put out a casting call for "upscale, classy, clean" people to star in a promotional video. Models were required to "look like you live full time in a 4 star luxury resort-like high-rise" because where would we be without pattern-matching, right? NEMA (short for "New Market") also held an open house with "mermaids, dancing monkeys, and plant people." At that event, a model was paid to soak in a tub.

Considering NEMA's track record of opulence and obliviousness, these ground-floor signs are just another data point on the hockey stick growth of gentrification. But according to Curbed, the strategy is working. For their next event, we suggest a bonfire of Aeron chairs.

Isn't it cool when your condo matches your app?

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