Yahoo doesn't do much these days except buy silly startups and gather mounds of traffic from parents who don't know how to change their homepage. The company needs a new direction—and it's... more advertising? Oh no.
Reuters says the company "plans to ramp up advertising and marketing efforts as it seeks to break its reliance on an "aging demographic" and become more relevant among young adults, the company's finance chief said on Tuesday." If there's one thing we know about young adults, it's that they notice, care about, and respond to advertisements for internet portals:
The struggling Web portal's brand will be more visible on outdoor billboards and at sporting events, among other places, as it seeks to woo 18-to-34-year-olds and get the word out about new products
Never mind that these new products don't really exist yet—if Yahoo thinks a billboard that says "Yahoo!" on it is going to get an 18-year-old to type that word into a browser, well, things are even worse than we thought. But at least they're a little self-aware: "Part of it is going to be just visibility again in making ourselves cool, which we got away from for a couple of years."
Saying Yahoo "Got away from [being cool] for a couple of years" is sort of like saying your dead fish went to Aquarium Heaven.