If you're a "normal married dude," who also happens to have a ton of sex on the side, you probably go to a motel or the back of a Jeep, I don't know. But if you're Google's executive chairman, knee deep in it with billions to spend, you have this soundproofed third base Xanadu.

The New York Post quotes some anonymous blabbers who say Schmidt spent a heft bundle for the duplex at 31 W. 21st St., far from his wife, where he makes sure no doormen can see his girlfriends enter—or ever hear them:

Schmidt has also spent millions getting the 6,250-square-foot duplex — which has four bedrooms and a large entertainment area with a wet bar opening onto a 3,300-square-foot terrace — soundproofed, claiming he “doesn’t sleep well,” but also affording him complete privacy.

Nothing creepy at all about a love shack where no one can see you come or go, and also is completely sealed off from the outside, nope. The fornication vacuum is apparently just fine for Lisa Shields, VP at the Council on Foreign Relations, who the Post says still figures prominently in Schmidt's open marriage. She's just one of many—Schmidt's Instagram follow list reads like a tryout roster:

Property photos via StreetEasy