The bullshit industry has never boomed harder: Harvard biz student Ryan Allis, the "CEO" of a "company" called "Connect," wants you to know about a "conference" he's organizing. He was kind enough to spam everyone he knows and try to swindle his classmates.

The following was forwarded to me by another HBS student, who added "Hah unbelievable! I've never even met this dude!" Despite being the laughingstock of his CC list, Ryan's pitch is very believable:


Quick life update from San Francisco...

Since May I've been building Connect. Connect is a map and address book of all your friends.

[Redacted bullshit about that company]

Secondly, I am taking everything I've learned the last ten years and turning it into a 3-day leadership training program called the Hive Global Leaders Program. The first program will be held January 17-20, 2014 at the offices in San Francisco. Our goal is to create a network of leaders who want to create a sustainable and abundant world for all people. I need some help getting the word out about Hive before our December 9th application deadline. Would you be willing to pass on the attached flyer to listservs or friends who may be interested or share the below text on your Facebook or Twitter account?

Hive trains leaders who want to change the world. Started by my friend @ryanallis. Apply by Dec 9 -

Thank you so much for your encouragement and support!

All the best, Ryan

Ryan Allis, CEO, Connect

The real lesson here is to immediately delete any email that begins "Friends, quick life update from San Francisco..." The second real lesson is to avoid anything even peripherally associated with HBS, a nuclear epicenter of nonsense ideas and hucksterism. But what exactly is "Hive"? It's one of thoste deliciously meaningless TED-meets-Jonestown fantasy camp for wide-eyed nerds with slightly more dollars than ideas:

We are specifically looking for people who are committed to making a big impact in the world and deeply care about creating a world that works for everyone. We are also looking for people who have demonstrated that they are leaders.

The tech boom has ushered in a shining "post-meaning" age—it's completely fine to write something like "committed to making a big impact in the world," detached from all context or explanation. Really, this sounds like a club someone would start in high school to pad their college applications, only less edifying. Hive will offer "courses" in "Species-level Philosophy" (that's not a real thing), "Holistic Mindfulness & Health" (also not a real thing), and "Becoming Unreasonable" (definitely not a thing), among other exercises in haute idiocy. You can cap off the three day horseshit symposium with a class on "Acquiring Millions of Users and Customers," the secret to which has apparently been hiding in plain sight. But that's why you go to Harvard Business School, right? To learn out how to spraypaint turds gold, and look great doing it.

If you'd like to attend the Hive conference, it will be $750, not including travel or accomodations. Apply here.