Bryan Goldberg, the CEO of Bustle and intellectual equivalent of a large wet sponge, just published his latest treatise about people who are not him. He calls it "satire." The rest of the internet calls it defiantly dumb, insulting garbage.

It's hard to imagine what exactly Goldberg is going for in his half-lobotomized, meandering piece. Are the coal-smudged street urchins supposed to be the doctors, teachers, and transit workers of San Francisco? Are they supposed to be Bustle interns? We do know the whole thing is supposed to be "funny," as is the excuse almost every imbecile makes when he realizes he's done something ghastly online. Here's one funny part, about how anyone outside the Bay Area tech sector should essentially quit bitching:

You just graduated college last year, and you are already making an $80,000 salary, plus a stock option bonus? You are living by yourself in a killer Hayes Valley apartment? And you are still young enough to miraculously never experience hangovers?

You brat! You already piss me off.

Wait — you didn't even graduate from college? You dropped out after two years, because you were making $110/hour on the weekends as a designer, and you realized that a Sociology degree from Ohio State was a less valuable use of your time?

What an obnoxious punk you are!


My dad was born here. Not yours. I'm the one who spent three summers working at Jamba Juice on Kearny Street. Not you.

Haha! Jamba Juice?! That's not a startup, and that's why it's funny! Gold. Gold-berg—get it? PandoDaily boss Sarah Lacy, who adores any opportunity to put up two giant middle fingers towards anyone not building The Next Great Software Company, just loves this shit:

If there's a rising tide of contempt for the techie class, it's because they so often put so little effort into hiding the fact that they despise you.