Austin, TX — All the brands are here, and form a chorus of undignified pleas for your attention. But why are they bothering? Nothing will beat AOL's race to the bottom like Digital Prophet and escaped muppet David Shing, wobbling on a branded wrecking ball.

This spectacle took place at a Mashable party, because "SHINGY MASHABLE SXSW" is unbeatable when it comes to SEO. If AOL really wanted to bolster its image, it might've considered sending Tim Armstrong to rescucitate some ailing babies—or most attractive of all, skipping SXSW.

Dignity is obsolete.

Photo via Twitter