Just because you're warm, indoors, and out of shape, doesn't mean you have to miss out on the best social networking fuckfest of the olympiad: here's what it looks like to browse Tinder at the athletic sex-romp of the year.
Here's American snowboarder Jamie Anderson, who started the vicarious Tinder craze this week.
Norwegian skier PK Hunder:
American skeleton racer Katie Uhlaender uses a Getty photo of herself as a profile picture. Do you feel bad about yourself yet?
This Aussie skier surfs, too:
Taka, hiding your face on Tinder is a social media don't!
OK, we get it, you're at the Olympics, you're beautiful and strong, and at the Olympics:
Billy Morgan from England apparently does not need Tinder, apparently:
Natalie Spooner will throw you through a fucking wall:
Even Olympians do that annoying thing where they pose with a million friends on Tinder. WHICH ONE IS THE FAMOUS SKATER?
And, it's lovely to see that Russia's homophobic regime can't keep the action on Grindr down, either:
One Grindrer, whose profile includes a picture of the Olympic torch (a Grindr favorite), advertises he's around until the 23rd—the final day of the Olympics.
Another 25-year-old with "Olympic Games Sochi 2014" featured atop his profile says he doesn't want anyone over 30—a 37-year-old posing in front of an Olympic ring sculpture says "sex only."
Sure enough, a Grindr rep told me app activity in Sochi has popped since the games began: "A week ago there were 185 active users in Sochi, and now there are 541."
It's just like using your own smartphone, here! Only these people are the most fit humans on the planet. Happy Valentine's Day.